Is this too explicit for Year 7, 11 years old

[Sarah510]

So, my ds is doing some stuff on online grooming at school. Apparently they were shown a video, where a boy made friends with a stranger online, and then got tricked into meeting him, and the man sexually abused him (this wasn't actually shown in the film, it was explained in a voice-over, just that the boy was "sexually abused") and then the boy was murdered by being stabbed in the neck.

One of the girls in the class was so upset she had to leave the classroom.

Now they have to do a 'play' about it in groups. DS has a lot of questions about sexual abuse - and I've answered them, but am I too 'old-fashioned' to think this is a bit too explicit for 11 year olds. He is constantly worrying now about strangers, and would they stab him in the neck and if he was sexually abused what would they do to him. I answered as simply as I can, that it's when grown ups want to do sexual things with children. He wanted more info, so I had to go into more detail. I've always said to him to be careful online and monitor him very closely and he has a couple of friends that he plays games with sometimes, but he doesn't have a phone and just plays on our ipad or simple stuff like that. I know he's in secondary now, but is it a bit much or is it normal...

was anyone ever shown this one? Shows dead children at the end! Scared me to no end although I think it's more important to teach children that anyone can hurt them, even if they're a good family friend or someone they see regularly. The "tricky people" narrative should be discussed alongside the idea of a stranger whisking you away, DD isn't old enough to be taught that in school yet so not sure if it is. Haven't seen the Breck Bednar video so can't comment on it I'll take a look now

Good job to the school for bringing about awareness in this type of thing. What would happen if this happened your child? What would they do?

Kids need to know reality. They cant live in a bubble; this is not real life. The world can be a scary place. What is wrong is not teaching them how to cope, supporting them and teaching them. 11 years is a good age because this where curiosity begins to show its face.

I think this sort of thing needs to come with a warning, as the link on the first page points out it has the risk of re-traumatising kids who have already experienced violence or abuse. It’s an important subject and should definitely be discussed, but there are better ways to do it than sticking a bunch of kids in a room and making them watch an upsetting film that’s rated above their age.

They definitely need to know early. I'm 35 now and year 8 age 12, I told a parent about my friends boyfriend because I refused to get in a car with him when he stopped to give us a lift because I thought something wasn't right. He was 38, and me telling someone opened a giant, giant trail of abuse when the police were contacted (my parents weren't sure what to do so rang them)

I then gave evidence. Keeping it fairly vague but he was then arrested and sentenced for multiple accounts of rape, attempted rape, indecent assault, possession of child abuse images, incest... I could go on. Sentenced to 16 years and the youngest girl involved was age 11

@Starlink You’re seriously trolling a thread about preventing sexual violence against children?

If you’re suggesting that the kids who’ve already been raped or sexually assaulted, who would be at risk of being traumatised or caused mental harm by watching films depicting explicit content are ‘snowflakes’ then you have something seriously wrong with you.

My experience is that children in secondary schools usually discuss local crimes that happened to other teens.

My kids go to a leafy comp but there's been teens who've been victims of stabbings, robberies, paedophiles... and thanks to smart phones they often know before the parents. For example a teacher at a local school was found in possession of child abuse images. Kids were sending each other links to the story in the evening shortly after it went live online. School couldn't inform parents about the facts until the next morning as they couldn't respond sooner. By the time that the parents were officially told, the kids knew when the teacher was going to be sentenced etc

OP's son doesn't have a smart phone but as he games online, it takes one kid in the group with a smart phone to tell the others. Consoles have the ability to message each other.

In addition, I don’t think news reports tend to hold certificate 15/18 ratings. Film is a different ball game. For an abused person it can reignite a memory and cause awful harm in the short term. That’s not to say reading a case study doesn’t trigger, but reading and knowing someone was raped, is very different to watching it in a film. For example; Kayleigh’s love story is horrendously triggering.

And the fact it’s called a ‘love story’ is horrific in itself.