To think the use of prostitutes just isn't that big a deal?

[Hihothedairyo]

Now here me out first, I do not mean married men who use prostitutes without the knowledge/consent of their wives/partners. Those are scum, I have been cheated on in that way before so believe me when I say I do not agree with that.

However, I've seen and heard a lot of people (including friends of mine) who believe that men in general who use prostitutes are scum.

Personally, I think that, provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked, then you are really just two consenting adults having sex. Yes there is money exchanged, but nobody is forcing the sex worker to do this job (in this scenario, I know that DOES happen).

Should a person who's say, 30 years old and still a virgin, and now feels their too old and too inexperienced to go out and find a woman to have sex with them, not be able to use a service that a woman is willingly providing? What about someone with some form of disability that wants sex but doesn't have the confidence or whatever to get it normally?

I've got a good friend who lost his virginity to a prostitute, and has visited them a few other times also. He's in a happy relationship now and does not use them and never has while in any relationship. I don't feel that him having used them was wrong, but he is not open about having used them at all and I'm pretty sure his partner doesn't know that he ever has.

I just feel there is far too much judgement and hate towards people who are, in reality, just doing something that has been done since time began. And I see no wrong in it, I imagine I'm in the minority here though.

If they are there by choice, then hey are consenting, in my opinion

Cos being beaten to death by your pimp or detoxing and choking on your own vomit is a much better option...

Nick Vujic has no arms or legs yet he is a married father.

Stephen Hawking had relationships after diagnosis.

People with disabilities manage to have loving relationships which include sex all the time.

It’s not a free pass that entitles you to another woman’s vagina.

Ugh.... sorry OP I dont normally feel this strongly ... but part of your post has made me feel sick!
"Personally, I think that, provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked"

That - Im afraid - is one of the most naive comments I have ever heard. I know someone who works in a refuge and they have trafficked women in there. The women are told to talk to the men, be friendly, pretend they fancy them - so the men dont THINK they are trafficked! How do you propose that they check effectivly? These women are terrified, beaten, abused, have had their passports removed, have been lied to by their traffickers. How is some bloke with a hardon going to ascertain whether someone like this or not has been trafficked????

No one is minimising the experiences of make victims, the conversation here is about female prostitution.
This.^^
Don't forget, ladies, you are not allowed to talk about things that happen to girls and women, because they might happen to boys and men too, and if you are not explicitly talking about boys and men, then you hate all men, you evil feminist witches.
Ha!
I have known several young, male prostitutes, I am well aware that they are victims too. Incidentally, NONE of them were ever bought by a woman. Men were the only "customers".

I disagree with surrogacy too and I'm sure you'll find that most others here agree. Bodies are not a commodity.

OP are you totally ignoring pps who have tried to explain choice and consent to you?

As for the lad with muscular dystrophy, he doesn't have a right to sex. He'll never fly a plane either but Boeing won't let him name his price. That's life.

@burneyfanny totally agree.
Also to the PPs disagreeing with all sex work- lap dancing etc, you are totally clueless and are arguing about something you have no experience or knowledge of. Not even going to bother arguing because you clearly don’t care to learn

Even in the highly unlikely event of a’happy prostitute’ actually existing, the renting of a body to use its holes for your own selfish sexual gratification is grim.

I would judge anyone who uses prostitutes as completely selfish and morally bankrupt.

One hundred and thirty people working as prostitutes in San Francisco were interviewed regarding the extent of violence in their lives and symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Fifty-seven percent reported that they had been sexually assaulted as children and 49% reported that they had been physically assaulted as children. As adults in prostitution, 82% had been physically assaulted; 83% had been threatened with a weapon; 68% had been raped while working as prostitutes; and 84% reported current or past homelessness.......
You can't justify prostitution, it's domestic abuse that is paid for.

I don’t judge any woman who works / has worked as a prostitute.
I do judge the men who use them.
In fact, I support the idea of decriminalising the selling of sex, while criminalising the buying of it. If the women didn’t end up with criminal records then it would be easier for them to transition to “normal” jobs (not easy per se, but it would remove a barrier). And, perhaps, if the men were risking prosecution, and the subsequent risk to their reputation and livelihood, they might think twice.

Fortunately I have never been in the position of having to sell my body to feed house and clothe my children but I have done some pretty disgusting dehumanising jobs to do so.
Read about the women who are turning to prostitution due to UC or benefit sanctions. I m sure we could argue that they are consenting adults making that choice but I dont think so. They are forced into it so their kids dont starve.
And how would you know someone is trafficked? They re not going to say so and risk being killed or beaten up.
Sorry I dont agree with it. It s taking advantage of a weaker more vulnerable person, who doesnt get all the money anyway.

Bezalelle
Paying money to put your penis into a woman's vagina, who would not consent to it unless money was involved.

But people wouldn't consent to a LOT of things if money was not involved. Would not consent to rubbing strangers bodies (massage therapists), clearing someone's gutters, delivering someone's post....

@ILoveBlinking I have reluctantly come to the same conclusion. I know it is not popular too, but it is still a logical view to hold if you believe that women's bodies should not be commodities to be bought, sold or rented.

It’s exploitation and abuse.
Do you think it would be ok for your daughter or son to be a prostitute?
Have to fuck people for money?

Besides the fact that you would have no real idea about how "willing" these women really are, it's fucking gross and desperate to actually pay someone to fuck you. I wouldn't want to be with a man like that

Prostitution survivor here (mid to late 1990s).

It’s fucking grim and the vast majority of women involved are survivors of childhood sexual assault or are groomed into it by abusive partners or the industry itself.

You are being very naive, rather than unreasonable.

Clouds is anyone suggesting that prostitution be made illegal?! God no.

You have a skewed understanding of the concept of "choice"

Most of the time the men don’t care if they’re trafficked anyway. I think this took place in Ireland but again I may be wrong, someone set up an advert for a prostitute when the men called it went to an answering machine where a woman made it clear she was unwilling and unconsenting to being a prostitute, no men called anyone to help her and they left their details to make a booking. I think it was reported in the guardian or the telegraph but I’m not 100%.

Even in the incredibly rare cases that you might find someone with zero money worries that enjoys being a prostitute, that can pick and choose their clients, feels completely safe in refusing to sleep with certain prospective clients, and could stop with no negative repercussions at all, it's still buying into the notion that you can rent someone's body as a commodity for your own use, and contributing to an industry is which directly results in the trafficking, rape, and death of many, many women and children. So regardless of whether a man determines he has definitely found himself a totally happy, willing, untrafficked woman to pay for sex, he's creating demand. That demand will result in someone dying. His hands aren't clean at all

Absolutely this.

I’d rather deliver someone’s post than work as a prostitute...

You have heard of soliciting I assume?

"Payment for sex is coercion" is bollocks.

A quick google tells me that the name for the logical fallacy being committed here is "equivocation." Though I think one or two others I vaguely recall might also apply.

But people wouldn't consent to a LOT of things if money was not involved. Would not consent to rubbing strangers bodies (massage therapists), clearing someone's gutters, delivering someone's post...

I doubt anyone has felt sick and taken multiple boiling hot showers to the point of self harm after being paid to deliver post or clear gutters.

What do we think the chances are that OP is a male punter (and possible incel)?

@DuLANGMondeFOREVER Glad you got out the other side, I hope things are better for you now

Oh these poor lovely men and their "needs".

Sex is not a need. Food is a need. Water is a need. Shelter is a need. Nobody dies from lack of sex. Plenty of people (mostly women, and even when it's men, the perpetrator has usually been a man too) have died during sex.

I don't mean middle aged overweight men having heart attacks, I mean from strangulation / hitting etc. which is subsequently claimed by the perpetrator to be consensual.

There is no "right" to have sex either. So if you can't find someone willing and able to have sex with you, just take care of yourself or just don't have sex.