To think the use of prostitutes just isn't that big a deal?

[Hihothedairyo]

Now here me out first, I do not mean married men who use prostitutes without the knowledge/consent of their wives/partners. Those are scum, I have been cheated on in that way before so believe me when I say I do not agree with that.

However, I've seen and heard a lot of people (including friends of mine) who believe that men in general who use prostitutes are scum.

Personally, I think that, provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked, then you are really just two consenting adults having sex. Yes there is money exchanged, but nobody is forcing the sex worker to do this job (in this scenario, I know that DOES happen).

Should a person who's say, 30 years old and still a virgin, and now feels their too old and too inexperienced to go out and find a woman to have sex with them, not be able to use a service that a woman is willingly providing? What about someone with some form of disability that wants sex but doesn't have the confidence or whatever to get it normally?

I've got a good friend who lost his virginity to a prostitute, and has visited them a few other times also. He's in a happy relationship now and does not use them and never has while in any relationship. I don't feel that him having used them was wrong, but he is not open about having used them at all and I'm pretty sure his partner doesn't know that he ever has.

I just feel there is far too much judgement and hate towards people who are, in reality, just doing something that has been done since time began. And I see no wrong in it, I imagine I'm in the minority here though.

The OP is taking a real kicking here. If you deem her to be “uneducated” on the matter, why not try and educate her instead of making shitty comments.
Also nobody’s answered my question about other types of sex work 🤷🏼‍♀️ hmm.

Generally speaking, many people only have stereotypes and shitty documentaries as an insight into prostitution but still have strong opinions, despite these opinions being incorrect.

If you want a genuine insight it's best to listen to what actual sex workers say, and unfortunately in my experience a lot of people on here who have very strong opinions are simply not interested in what we say.

So came to point out to the OP that she's missing the point around people's issue with sex for cash - if there wasn't money being exchanged would the person selling consent to sexual activity with the buyer.

However .. I'm 100% more appalled by the 'human rights activists' that feel its fair and appropriate to down play the male victims of the sex trade because 'it happens to women more'.

🙄

Every step we take towards the recognition of the victims of sexual exploitation, domestic violence, abuse and sexual crimes we're knocked back by 'feminists' ranting on about how women have it happen more to them by men and that should be the only focus.

How much do you have to hate men to minimise male victims to suit your narrative. 🤦🏻‍♀️

All types of sex work disproportionately disadvantage women and fuel the idea that women exist to meet the physical needs of men.

@Hihothedairyo

BIWI just prepared for people such as yourself who's first thought when they see any post is to search the person's posting history and follow it up with a predictable one like yours. There's always one.

Yep. But I was honest and posted. Lots of others will have done exactly the same, when reading goady fucker-type threads. HTH.

Would you be happy with your daughter choosing to go into sex work and her first “client” was a man old enough to be her grandfather who made her skin crawl, OP?

I've worked with 100s of traumatised sex workers, thanks

YABU. Consent cannot be freely given in exchange for money and women should not be bought.

No one is minimising the experiences of make victims, the conversation here is about female prostitution.

*male

Out of interest, how many of those who disagree feel the same about other types of sex work (strippers, lap dancers, phone operators)?

On the surface these seem ok but the actually reality is 'you have to get out before it's fucks you up' is very commonly spoken by those that have done them inc. things like Babe Station.

What planet are you from OP ?

Men have sex because they have a hard on. They don’t have sex because they want to make their partner feel good. Far as I’m concerned they treat women like sound buckets anyway so might as well make them pay for it. If your having sex cos your just horny you could shag anyone and get release

@Hoik true but then other posters brought the subject up and the response to which was (by quite a few) 'but it happens to women more so women are the real victims'

Great. Just fucking great for all those young boys being trafficked for sex. Just another way to make them feel invisible and unimportant!!

Sound should have been spunk

I suppose you can argue that it some scenarios it is condonable. That's a long way from saying it's ok, or that you wouldn't think less of a man who did it. Or a woman.

@drinkygin No, I’m not ok with any sex work.

Payment for sex is coercion.
Using coercion to obtain sex is a kind of rape.
Women who succumb to coercion to agree to sex that they wouldn't otherwise want do suffer from post traumatic stress and emotional turmoil in a similar way to other rape victims.

Physical and mental integrity is an inviolable human right. Inviolable means that it is not OK to pay someone or otherwise induce someone to surrender that right. Having the penis of someone inside your vagina is a violation of physical integrity. Using parts of the human body for financial gain is specifically debarred in the European Convention on Human Rights. The vagina is a part of the human body (NB the UK's signatoryship on the ECHR is independent of its membership of the EU).

The primary profit-making person when someone pays for sex with the prostitute is not usually the prostitute herself. Even if she wasn't trafficked there is probably a pimp on the scene who will take a high enough cut to ensure that she can't escape from this life until she is so broken that she can no longer be used profitably.

You can’t buy consent.

No one has a right to sex.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. The attitude towards women and consent displayed by men who use prostitutes repulses me. I would be horrified to find out my DH had used prostitutes, ever.

Hoik I expect your right, but I am saying it does happen it just doesn,t firt well into the victim/perpetrator we like to paint. Also Women often involved behind the seens as Madams/ trafficars ect. Predominately men but by no means all.

You sound extremely ignorant about sex work op. Have you read many mn threads on the subject at all?

No, OP.

The human body is not a commodity.

The women or men who sell sex are not doing it because they love their job. They are putting themselves in a very vulnerable and uncomfortable position in order to earn money - it's very desperate and sad.

@FairyLightsAreMyCrack I was a ‘sex worker’. I had issues from childhood, got into an abusive relationship and was forced into it by my boyfriend. I would be beaten senseless and raped by him if I didn’t do what he said. He filmed and photographed me and me being raped and uploaded it to online sites and sold them to make more money. He would ‘trade’ me for free takeaways and taxis and to his friends. He would book me out online or make me stand in the street. He would ‘swap’ me for drugs. Many of the men knew I wasn’t willing. No man ever turned down the ‘trade’ or ‘swap’ no man ever tried to help me, called the police or told my boyfriend what he was doing was wrong.

This was from the age of 12 until I finally managed to escape.

I, to this day, have mental health problems because of it, I rarely leave my house, I can’t order takeaways or get a taxi or even have a repairman in my home.

There are many organisation to help prostitutes exit and provide support after (other ‘jobs’ don’t get these). And if anyone is still struggling with the after effects or struggling to exit prostitution, please try and find one in your area.

'Men have sex because they have a hard on. They don’t have sex because they want to make their partner feel good. '

WTF

women have sex drives
Women get horny
Women don't just have sex to 'make their partner feel good'

Plenty of men prefer sex in a relationship/ with someone they actually like. They aren't all mindless rutting animals.

What a messed up view of human sexuality.

You say only if the woman is willing.

How do you ascertain that the woman whose body is being used is doing it because they want to? Actually want to. Oh I went to med school but I didn't like being a gp so decided I'd rather sell my body.

Choice doesn't exist in a vacuum.

They are hardly going to tell you they've been forced to by a pimp, that they have been trafficked here with the promise of a job only to then be prostituted, that their 'choice' is one borne of desperation and the only alternative to homelessness or not being able to afford to eat/feed her kids?

And really, is it any more moral to use a woman's body when she is offering it out of desperation than if she was trafficked or something?

And again, and leaving aside the morality of buying another person's body full stop - how do you identify with absolute certainty that the woman being "used", as you repeatedly call it is the fabled so called 'happy hooker' living it up rather than the many alternative situations?