To think the use of prostitutes just isn't that big a deal?

[Hihothedairyo]

Now here me out first, I do not mean married men who use prostitutes without the knowledge/consent of their wives/partners. Those are scum, I have been cheated on in that way before so believe me when I say I do not agree with that.

However, I've seen and heard a lot of people (including friends of mine) who believe that men in general who use prostitutes are scum.

Personally, I think that, provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked, then you are really just two consenting adults having sex. Yes there is money exchanged, but nobody is forcing the sex worker to do this job (in this scenario, I know that DOES happen).

Should a person who's say, 30 years old and still a virgin, and now feels their too old and too inexperienced to go out and find a woman to have sex with them, not be able to use a service that a woman is willingly providing? What about someone with some form of disability that wants sex but doesn't have the confidence or whatever to get it normally?

I've got a good friend who lost his virginity to a prostitute, and has visited them a few other times also. He's in a happy relationship now and does not use them and never has while in any relationship. I don't feel that him having used them was wrong, but he is not open about having used them at all and I'm pretty sure his partner doesn't know that he ever has.

I just feel there is far too much judgement and hate towards people who are, in reality, just doing something that has been done since time began. And I see no wrong in it, I imagine I'm in the minority here though.

@Pumperthepumper No, I said I wouldn't have sex with someone for pay. I haven't Dommed anyone for pay so far, but if I want disabled and didn't have a young daughter at home, then I absolutely would.

SirChing I can assure you: it isn’t. Future career for your daughter then? No risk, loads of cash?

*wasn't not want

Apologies for the derail, OP

And whoever said the idea of being powerless as a schoolgirl is misogynistic - I totally agree with you. It is also true though. They are very vulnerable. And it's the vulnerability which appeals to these men.

These men need serious therapy. Proper deviants.

These threads make my brain explode.

The cognitive dissonance that happens is just...remarkable.

In order to swallow the “happy hooker” line, you have to be prepared to ignore the women who are being abused and raped on an hourly basis.

In order to say prostitution is a “job like any other” you have to accept that our bodies are nothing more than a tin of beans.

In order to accept the “it’s fine as long as there is consent” you have to ignore the trafficking, drug running, weapons trade and absolute degradation that is a whisker away from all prostitution.

And that’s before we even begin to address the fact that the prostituted are overwhelmingly women and girls and the people paying to rape them are men.

Apologies, @Pumperthepumper, I didn't realise that you had done it yourself and knew lots of Dommes. I shall defer to your experience.

@SmileEachDay THIS.

So I ask again- why didn’t you become a Dom after talking to her if it’s no more exploitative than working for the NHS? You could have done it too, yet you didn’t. Why is that?

For exactly the same reason I didn’t become a lawyer or banker or astronaut or train driver or vet or check out person. Probably could have been any of those as well (well maybe not astronaut as doubt I would have passed the training for that but pretty confident about the others), YET they held no interest for me so why would I? Similarly, being a dominatrix held no interest for me, so why would I have done that? The whole point was that the set-up the person I knew had was no more exploitative than the job I worked in or the jobs many other professionals worked in, especially when we were starting out. How you have translated this to we should have all been dominatrixes instead then baffles me? Yes, I’m sure most of us, in hindsight think maybe a different career may have been a better choice given what we have experienced along the way but that would be something that interested us (or in a lot of cases that parents didn’t shoehorn/force us into out of school) - not a dominatrix by default.

Being a prostitute Domme is just doing whatever a man pays you to do. Just pretending. Still exploitation and men paying women to behave how they want them to. The Domme has no power

Apologies for the derail. I shall STFU about domination as it's a totally different dynamic to prositituon, thinking about it

I was a sex worker.

I have to say that I do not and did not have mental health problems, a hideously abusive childhood, addiction issues or significant trauma. Nor did I have an abusive or coercive partner (was single at the time) and although a bit skint as a 20 year old student, it was a long way from being my only option.

Mainly it was fine - and mainly it actually was slightly sad or socially dysfunctional men who might have difficulties in 'normal' relationships. Most of the women I worked with were perfectly normal women from a variety of ages and backgrounds who had the one thing in common, that they were able to dissociate performing a role which involved sex, from their daily life without too much emotional impact.

I had the benefit of working in a fairly safe, supervised environment though; and when I wanted to walk away I did, with no pressure whatsoever.

So the stereotype of abused, addicted trafficked woman does not always fit. There are instances where this is a freely made choice. That may be rarer in general and today than it was in that particular time and place though.

YET they held no interest for me so why would I

So instead you worked for the NHS where you said you felt exploited, underpaid, worked long hours and had arsehole patients? Gotcha. Sounds like a good career choice then.

Being a prostitute Domme is just doing whatever a man pays you to do. Just pretending. Still exploitation and men paying women to behave how they want them to. The Domme has no power

The fact you call Dommes prostitutes says everything. Think that about thr male ones too do you?

Your OP has 6 references to "use" or "used" that relate to a man penetrating a woman's body with his penis.

I think that pretty much sums it up.
Bodily consent is not buyable.
It is either freely given, or it does not exist.
Handing over money to coerce a woman to be penetrated is buying the right to rape a woman without being prosecuted for the crime.
If she wouldn't freely have sex with you then it isn't sex. It's rape with hush money.

I don't think the right to enter another person's body for sexual gratification is ever a "service" people (men) should be able to buy.

Sorry, the male Doms who see female Subs. Think they are prostitutes with no power? Ha!

Surely the high powered men being dominated must fear being recognised. With hidden cameras and facial recognition technology it could get into the wrong hands and be used to blackmail for money or leverage someone . I do wonder when I read a report of someone being let off by the judiciary for what I consider a slam dunk case of rape/assault against a woman.

I agree with the original post providing the prostitute is not being abused or trafficked. I have a couple of friends in the industry. One is a former GP. She loves it. (And it pays more !)

SirChing of course they are prostitutes! Pay for sexual services is prostitution. Domination is a sexual service in that you are doing what the punter tells you to do.

@justasking111 Absolutely. That's primarily why you can charge so much. To guarantee discretion. If I was a client, no way would I see a cheap Domme. They aren't being paid enough to keep their traps shut. Yet it isn't in the paper often about these men obtaining the services of Dommes. Because they are paid a fortune to be discreet and don't want to lose their client base.

You cant support prostitution without using arguments that can be used to support selling a kidney.

I had the benefit of working in a fairly safe, supervised environment though; and when I wanted to walk away I did, with no pressure whatsoever

I’m really glad that was your story.

But it’s not the norm. And sadly, it perpetuities the myth that “sex work” is just like any other job.

If there are two women...one is you, with your experience and one is Martha, who is a heroine addict being sold by a fucking crazy pimp, unable to claim benefits because she has no address, totally isolated from her family for reasons that would curdle your blood...whose story do people need to hear the most? As humans, who should we be trying to protect?

I honestly don’t want to ignore your loved experience, but for every one of you there are dozens of Marthas.

@MostTacticalNameChange I presume that women who work in sex phone lines or in Ann Summers are also prostitutes then, if all services relating to sex are to be seen as such?

Surely the small.part about NOT HAVING SEX with the clients means that it isn't prostitution?

SirChing are you seriously saying face pissing, blood splatter, the insertion of objects into a stranger's genitals and paid- for degradation (wearing girls school uniform) is equal to working in a high street store like Ann Summers??

Fucking hell. You really have no argument at all.

These disingenuous posters

Smile Each Day I know . . . and yes, I met 'Marthas' who were in the industry at the same time in less reputable establishments - then even further down the chain were the street girls . . . I'm not denying that exploitation of desperate women exists. I tried not to give a view other than recount my own experience. To suggest (not that you personally have, I mean in general) that ALL sex workers fit a particular set of predisposing circumstances is, however, at least in my experience, wrong.