To think the use of prostitutes just isn't that big a deal?

[Hihothedairyo]

Now here me out first, I do not mean married men who use prostitutes without the knowledge/consent of their wives/partners. Those are scum, I have been cheated on in that way before so believe me when I say I do not agree with that.

However, I've seen and heard a lot of people (including friends of mine) who believe that men in general who use prostitutes are scum.

Personally, I think that, provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked, then you are really just two consenting adults having sex. Yes there is money exchanged, but nobody is forcing the sex worker to do this job (in this scenario, I know that DOES happen).

Should a person who's say, 30 years old and still a virgin, and now feels their too old and too inexperienced to go out and find a woman to have sex with them, not be able to use a service that a woman is willingly providing? What about someone with some form of disability that wants sex but doesn't have the confidence or whatever to get it normally?

I've got a good friend who lost his virginity to a prostitute, and has visited them a few other times also. He's in a happy relationship now and does not use them and never has while in any relationship. I don't feel that him having used them was wrong, but he is not open about having used them at all and I'm pretty sure his partner doesn't know that he ever has.

I just feel there is far too much judgement and hate towards people who are, in reality, just doing something that has been done since time began. And I see no wrong in it, I imagine I'm in the minority here though.

Hey, I’m NOT a man and I don’t know any prostitutes personally but what I posted here about a high class hooker was what I was told.

I honestly don’t think I was lied to. She’s not the kind of person to make up lies like that about a school friend I don’t know and will never meet.

There is nothing in it for her. No reason to lie. No gain in telling me what she did. Why would she lie?

user4369621 Never risked gonorrhea, pregnancy or murder for my mortgage.

I've worked, used my body and my brain, did things I didn't want to do but at no point did I have someone with halitosis demand to put their tongue in my mouth.

You know the difference...it is not just another job. If it was you'd be doing it.

@Pumperthepumper - several reasons. I'm disabled and can't work. I don't have premises to do it and wouldn't use my home (despite having a cellar that would make a brilliant sex dungeon ) because I wouldn't want to run the risk of being stalked, and have a young daughter.

If I didnt have my DD and wasn't disabled, I would certainly consider it. £300 an hour to dominate someone, why the hell not?

@Elieza

Anecdotes are not inherently without value; indeed there have been some really interesting and thought-provoking personal accounts on this thread. However, an anecdote about someone you don’t personally know who ‘apparently’ earns
£1000 a night, and who is ‘apparently’ fit and healthy, stunningly beautiful etc is not particularly convincing. I don’t see how you could ‘promise’ this is the truth unless you were actually the woman in question.

And supposing all that is true...this woman is in the very lucky position of having the choice to do the work. Many others (most?) are not making this choice freely and are not living a life of luxury from it.

The fact that there may be a handful of ‘happy hookers’ living a harm-free life of prostitution does not in any way mitigate for all those who are already damaged when they enter the ‘profession’ and even more damaged by the time they leave it.

There is nothing in it for her. No reason to lie. No gain in telling me what she did. Why would she lie?

There will be outliers and unusual anecdotes in every debate, but this certainly isn’t the norm by any means. Your friend had the “luxury” of starting in the high end call girl world. That’s not usual or normal is it? Which means she began her journey with money and had choices to begin with. That is NOT where most prostitutes start or find themselves. The industry is built on the abuse and oppression of women. Just because you know of a friend of a friend who claims to enjoy it, doesnt negate the millions of women who begin in poverty and are coerced, forced or trafficked into it. Her story does t cancel out the misery or suffering that prostitution causes around the globe.

FWIW I absolutely do believe there are some happy hookers who love it.

But it's still a damaging profession and often the greater good for society curbs the desires of the few.

I'm completely fine with those few happy
hookers losing their income for the massive benefit abolishing prostitution would bring to all societies.

Why should the experience of the ( possibly hypothetical ) few who enjoy it trump the experience of the vast majority who risk their physical and mental health? So what if a friend of a friend thinks it's a great job - the vast majority want a way out!

regardless of how fucked your life is, whether you are addicted to drugs or trying to feed your kids, you are still choosing prostitution as a means to get by. There is help out there if people look for it, there
are other ways to get by, if you want it enough. But if you don't, and you feel it's easier to prostitute yourself, you are still choosing to do so

Oh dear, you dont get it. Even after multiple people have told you.
So when I was a prostitute, some long while ago now thank God, there was no help.
It wasnt a choice, I had children, small children, my husband left me with debts too. My benefits were delayed at first causing a ripple effect that meant I was yet more in debt after a few weeks of no money. Anyway that bit goes on in the same vein for about a year. See I managed a whole year without prostituting myself, aren't we proud.
So along comes yet another setback, me and the kids have not even a penny and no electricity and three slices of bread. Benefits are stopped again for shits and giggles I think at this point. So what choices did I have? Rob somewhere, I live on a sink estate, no one has anything portable of value. Get a high paying job, who will look after my kids for nothing, how do I get to the job, what would I wear? I've been skint for over a year now. All my clothes are past best and the better ones were sold to keep us going last year.
Get a local job cash in hand, that paymaster has nothing currently sorry. Maybe next month.
Try a charity, yeah right.
Try the council, yeah sure like they care. So long as your housed thats enough.
Social services, all they can do is offer to take your kids away for now and when your back on your feet you get them back. But we all know it doesn't work like that, plus your kids are the only thing stopping you killing yourself. You cant give them up.

Choices eh?

Holbeck is the UK's first managed red light district. It isnt going as intended.

''School teacher's harrowing account of being raped in Holbeck after attacker thought she was a prostitute
Alice was just yards from her home when a group of men bundled her into a car''
www.leeds-live.co.uk/news/leeds-news/school-teachers-harrowing-account-being-14959692

Desperate women who say they are forced to sell their bodies after getting caught in a poverty trap are urging the council not to axe the zone.

One, a 30-year-old mum, said: “I’ve got no criminal record and I don’t take drugs. I’ve never stolen anything in my life. But three months ago I lost my professional job of 10 years and I’ve got nothing to live on.

“I’ve got a claim in for benefits but haven’t had a penny. They tell me to be patient, but being patient isn’t going to feed my child or pay my mortgage.
“A few months ago I’d only ever slept with seven men, now I’m seeing perverts every night.
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/britains-first-red-light-zone-13591913

A few months ago I’d only ever slept with seven men, now I’m seeing perverts every night

But this can’t possibly be true surely! Someone upthread knows someone who knows someone who enjoys being a prostitute and earns £1000 a night so clearly these women must be lying!
🙄
Urgh this is so horrendous

Equal opportunities is an issue too. If it became accepted men were allowed sex therapy or whatever then would they be happy to be assigned a worker, in the way you are assigned a gp? You don't get to choose sex/size/race/disability status etc.

I know there are industries like modelling and tv etc where looks can be taken into account but if sex is agreed to be a need then you don't get to choose. It is a service, not a relationship.

The porn categories are so incredibly racist, disablist and (clearly sexist) and this leaks through to prostitution. If this is a job/service then that's not allowed!!

£300 an hour to dominate someone, why the hell not?

Well for me, it’s the exportation side of it. It’s the risk involved that just dominating them might not be enough and if the power dynamic shifts then you are completely helpless. It’s the idea that you are just a piece of meat to someone, just something to be bought and sold.

Would you encourage your daughter to be a dominatrix for £300 an hour? I wouldn’t.

*exploitation

Buying a human being to use as a cum bucket is gross. I don't classify needing money to pay rent as consent, they would probably never go near their 'clients' penis if they didn't need money. How men can use prostitutes and not be disgusted with themselves I don't know.

We've got an unofficial red light district by the train station. The young women hanging on street corners on a freezing winter's night don't look remotely empowered.

Got to say, I rather dislike being propositioned by car drivers on my bloody way home, too. Can never tell whether they're seriously propositioning me, or whether they think they're entitled to harass any woman who walks along that street.

And before anyone tries to excuse their behaviour and say I shouldn't be that street if I don't want to give men ideas, my own mother lived on that street!

£300 an hour to dominate someone, why the hell not

Someone in my town recently died who was a full time dominatrix (her death was nothing to do with her profession). I read an interview with her and it was VERY hardcore. Dominating men isn’t just getting them to do housework whilst naked. It involved things like inserting metal rods into their urethras, whipping people until they bled, inserting objects into the anal cavity etc She said she frequently got sprayed with blood and her “dungeon” had to be lined in plastic to prevent blood drainage and other fluids. I certainly wouldnt view dominating as an “easier” option by any means!

Would you encourage your daughter to be a dominatrix for £300 an hour? I wouldn’t.

Being honest, it wouldn’t upset me. And I am against prostitution due to the exploitation factor.

Many years ago I knew a woman who was a dominatrix. Never had sex with anyone but had a special glass toilet thing and wee’d on men’s faces . They would come, she would instruct them to get changed into a schoolgirl uniform, lock them in a cupboard as punishment (then go have a cuppa and read the paper for a bit), let them out, spank them then they would get changed and leave. Stuff like that. Most clients were high court judges and the like. She earned a shitload. Did it for 15 years. Was not disadvantaged, didn’t come from an abused background, was university educated. She didn’t have a drug habit or take drugs. She spent her earnings building up a substantial property portfolio and retired at 40yo to a great lifestyle. She claimed she never felt exploited. I do think this is very different to prostitution though and she definitely had the position of privilege and choice.

@hoppingpavlova I guarantee that she was doing much more than locking men in cupboards if she made a shed load of cash- see my post above!

And? Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t, who knows. I only know what she told me and I don’t know if she left stories like this out. The impression I got was that the men paid big money more for the discretion factor than the service itself as most clients were very high profile or significant public figures. Anyway point being, I honestly believe that in her particular case there was no exploitation.

If she liked it then good for her. But I’m saying that the idea of a Dom being “easy work” compared to being a prostitute is simply not true. It still involves sex acts even if you aren’t personally having sex with the clients yourself and it still involves a risk of infection via body fluids such as blood. So you could argue with that element of personal risk to health, there is still some kind of “exploitation” at work.

Also, to be frank, I probably saw and dealt with a lot more blood, gore and bodily fluids in my many decades in A&E, yet I didn’t earn as much money as she did and certainly couldn’t retire at 40yo so not really sure what your point is there?

Was not disadvantaged, didn’t come from an abused background, was university educated. She didn’t have a drug habit or take drugs. She spent her earnings building up a substantial property portfolio and retired at 40yo to a great lifestyle. She claimed she never felt exploited.

I KNOW HER! Stunningly beautiful? Could have been a doctor or a lawyer but instead chose to wank off creepy men forty years older than her for the kind of cash ugly, abused, thick women could only dream of? Is now living the life of Jeff Bezos due to her unwavering dedication to servicing men? What a massive coincidence! And if it is the same women, we often laugh together about nobody ever, ever questioned where all that money was coming from - certainly not when she bought that property portfolio outright!

Oh, and I would definitely say I felt exploited by the health service in many instances during my decades in A&E. Working conditions, pay, arsehole patients .......

Also, to be frank, I probably saw and dealt with a lot more blood, gore and bodily fluids in my many decades in A&E, yet I didn’t earn as much money as she did and certainly couldn’t retire at 40yo

You’re an absolute mug then - you could have had exactly the same life as her if only you’d done what she did. Never mind, your daughter can do it with your encouragement and retire at 40 with that property portfolio etc.