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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

got my very own CF

148 replies

Afolnerd · 05/02/2020 11:39

We get married in 2 weeks, all confirmed, paid, seating plan done etc.

Family member phoned “x has asked if they can bring 2 extra people with them?”
I have never met these people, they want an all day invite! Which would cost us £240.
Family member told them to ring me.
If they phone me they will be told in no uncertain terms to fuck off.

This surely isn’t normal behaviour?

OP posts:
mummysherlock · 05/02/2020 11:43

YANBU! This family member is a CF of the highest order

WilheldivaHater · 05/02/2020 11:45

That is exactly the kind of crap my uncle does. When I got married he told me to "put him down for 4 places" I just said "no, I'll be putting you down for 1 place because I don't have room for people to bring uninvited extras. Of course they're welcome at the evening do though."

Its cheeky beyond belief.

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 05/02/2020 11:47

That is unbelievably cheeky! Who are the extra people?!

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 05/02/2020 11:51

Weddings really bring out the cf in people. At mine I had a 2nd cousin whom I’ve met maybe twice ask if she could bring her boyfriend (it was an all-day invite only as it was a drive away) they’re 17yrs old and had been dating a few months! Also had a non-relation ask if I could ring the hotel to complain about the (small) early check-in fee she’d have to pay. Apparently it “was very cheeky of the hotel” and I should “ring and complain”!! I was Shock

LatentPhase · 05/02/2020 11:51

weird. Just weird.

Apolloanddaphne · 05/02/2020 11:53

That's bloody cheeky? Who are these people? His mates or distant relatives?

MzHz · 05/02/2020 11:53

Wow! Utterly bonkers!

And now we wait for the phone call.... Grin

KiddingMyself · 05/02/2020 11:55

Totally not placemarking.......

Original poster
Afolnerd · 05/02/2020 11:58

It’s my Brother, he is coming with his partner and apparently wants to bring her 2 adult children with them. Who we have never met. Why they want to come I have no idea?

OP posts:
cologne4711 · 05/02/2020 11:59

Also had a non-relation ask if I could ring the hotel to complain about the (small) early check-in fee she’d have to pay. Apparently it “was very cheeky of the hotel” and I should “ring and complain

Was the wedding and/or the reception at the hotel? If so, I kind of see their point, you were presumably spending thousands with them so should have some leverage.

If not though, very odd!

cologne4711 · 05/02/2020 12:00

Say if you have any last minute drop outs they can come :)

(ie people drop out so late that you'll have to pay for them anyway, in which case, why not fill the space - but if you've never met them I completely see why you'd be a bit Confused)

Whatsnewpussyhat · 05/02/2020 12:04

Not even children, but adults! Why the fuck would they even want to go? Weirdos.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 05/02/2020 12:05

It will be your brothers lazy way of getting them to meet all his family in one go. Or to show off somehow.

Sexnotgender · 05/02/2020 12:08

That’s weird and rude.

You should say sure, that’ll be £240, will I send you my bank details?

billy1966 · 05/02/2020 12:08

So cheeky! Sounds like you are well able.👍

PatellarTendonitis · 05/02/2020 12:10

When one of my first cousins got married, one of her brothers was then married to a CFer who wrote +12 on her RSVP return. That was a real NO to her CF-ery.

leadbetter5 · 05/02/2020 12:10

It's a free day out! What an idiot, not even slightly unreasonable to say "NO!"

leadbetter5 · 05/02/2020 12:11

married to a CFer who wrote +12 on her RSVP return

What!!!!! That is crazy!?? Who the hell were they hoping to bring along? The Von Trapps?

Sexnotgender · 05/02/2020 12:11

+12😱

I simply don’t understand. If I get a wedding invite I turn up when I’m meant to and do as I’m told! I can’t fathom assuming I could invite people to someone else’s wedding?

AryaStarkWolf · 05/02/2020 12:12

Your brother told his partners adult children who you have never met to phone you and ask if they can come to your wedding? Surely they wouldn't do that? Why would they even want to go, how strange

Ginkypig · 05/02/2020 12:12

It depends how long they have been together imo. I have adult stepchildren who my family who have never shown any interest in and have put effort into avoiding having any contact or even meeting them but to me they are my children (and I won't ever have biological children) who have been in my life since they were around 8-10 years old.

They have never been invited to any family event on my side, I don't make a thing because it's up to them but actually it's sometimes hurtful to see other children embraced while my children (I know mn have strong opinions on step mother/children relationship labels) have been in the family for sometimes as much as 11+ years more!

Obviously none of my post may be even a little relevant if he has just been dating this woman for a few months etc but I wanted to show a different perspective.

GaaaaarlicBread · 05/02/2020 12:12

I had this for our wedding too, a family friend asking if they could bring their two friends !! I didn’t have it in me to say no so paid the £200 extra . Couldn’t be arsed to say no but I should’ve done ! Weddings tend to come with CF but good on you for saying no! It costs a lot as it is !

NicLondon1 · 05/02/2020 12:12

But hang on - is your brother planning on marrying his partner? In which case, they'd become his Step-kids and you'd be their Aunt of sorts...? So they are kind of family..?
Perhaps your brother is serious about her/them and wants to include them in family occasions...?
In which case, you could offer them places if somebody drops out.

But agreed, it's strange if you've not met them yet! He should organise a get-together first!

Sexnotgender · 05/02/2020 12:14

That’s shit @GinkypigSad

amazedmummy · 05/02/2020 12:14

My SIL invited and brought her (very new) boyfriend. He then muscled in to family pictures, they split up weeks later.