So worried please help, DS Mental Health Journey, Part 2 *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[WhatNowFrantic]

I got the last thread deleted as it became quite outing but the support on here has been such a help to me so I've started this thread.
So DS started AD at the weekend and is so far feeling awful, he's pale, pupils dilated, feels anxious and dizzy. I don't think he realises how ill he is.
He's off work so I'm hoping they start to kick in soon. I'm worried he's got too much time on his hands while he's off and don't want him sat thinking.
Of course it's all my fault at the moment as I dragged him to the GP and got him to have time off. He's just not in a good place right now.

I’m not sure what age your son is but I think the drinking is a maturity thing as well. I was always suggesting to DS to stop whilst on the medication to no avail but the stopping came from him after the incident. I think if it had happened a year or so before he may have continued. Looking back I feel we should have got him home sooner and he may have progressed quicker. We really were in the dark as neither DH or I had had any experience of Mental Health issues and every time he was a bit better we would think this is it just for him to slip back again. I have to say the no drinking is probably the one thing that has helped him the most but that’s not so easy for a young guy. Just support him as you are doing and you will get there. DS says he always knew we would be there for him even when he pushed us away and that helped him. When my stomach was in knots all the time I actually thought I had an ulcer or something it was so bad. I still worry about him from time to time obviously and I think I always will but the worst of it now seems like a bad dream.

Thanks @Blacktip DS is 22. I'm thinking maybe the current situation with pubs closing etc could be a blessing in disguise!
He never drinks at home so I hope he doesn't start!
I think you are right about it being a maturity thing. It's also a thing he just seems to have grown up with, watching/playing sport then a few beers.
Welĺ now there is currently no sport or beer!
watch this space!

That was exactly the same as my DS. Sport and a few beers. Every cloud has a silver lining and hopefully after the 12 weeks or so your DS will be in a good place.

Just thought I'd give a little update amongst all the chaos going on around us.
DS is doing really well, strangely the lockdown seems to be doing him good. No pub, he doesn't drink at home, drinks gallons of coke but I can live with that at the moment!
He spends his day taking the dog out, playing on PlayStation talking to his mates online, bit of simple cooking, sleeping and watching box sets.
Everything he needed really.
Just about to go into the third month of Antidepressants and doesn't appear to have any side effects.
It's still very early days but I'm pleased with him right now.
I'm NHS so still working and he's even made me a cuppa when I get home. Only a few weeks ago that would have seemed impossible.😊
Stay Safe everyone

I'm glad the lockdown is proving therapeutic for him.

Stay safe and well too.

This is a really promising update. I'm so pleased things have improved.... long may that continue.

So nice to hear your update, I hope you all keep well

Thanks everyone x

Great update OP very positive stay safe 💐xx

you too @madmumofteens ⚘

Just thought I would give an update about DS since March. Wonder if anyone is still around?
Lockdown did him the world of good, no pubs, no drinking to excess. I got my boy back, loud, messy and cheeky, so wonderful!!
Now hes back to the pub, usually only weekends but he just goes bonkers and gets out of control. Last weekend he was asleep on the doorstep at 3am as he couldn't find his key!!
He is still taking 50mg Sertraline daily but since the weekend I've noticed the old quietness coming back, not chatty and looking sad. I've asked him if he is ok and he says yes he is.
He works for himself now which has been amazing and he loves it but I've just got this horrible niggling feeling that something's not right.
Seems a coincidence that the drinking has restarted and hes seeming ?depressed.
Hes been on the sertraline for 6 months now.

I really really didn't think I'd be feeling this way again.
DS is quiet again, all wrapped up in his own little world. Off his food, not interested in the dog and too quiet. Hes been like this since the weekend, I dont know what's happened but I've got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I've asked him what's wrong but he says he is fine😒

I remember your threes OP. No device but I hope that he opens up if something is wrong & stay positive

Thankyou

I remember your threads too, sorry to hear that your son is potentially struggling again.

If his low mood persists for more than a few days after alcohol, perhaps it might be worth talking to the GP about increasing his Sertraline dose? I started at 50mg but moved up to the maximum dose over time (as needed, after discussion with the doctor).

Unfortunately in regards to his drinking I don’t have any advice - but wanted to wish the best of luck to you both

Thank you.i just hate this feeling.....he was doing so well

Seems a coincidence that the drinking has restarted and hes seeming ?depressed.

There is a definite link between alcohol and depression and in addition, mixing ads with alcohol is not recommended. This website has some useful information www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/health-effects-of-alcohol/mental-health/alcohol-and-depression
It sounds like alcohol could be at the root of your ds's change of mood. The difficulty is that initially it probably makes him feel better, but is followed by the inevitable crash. I do hope he is able to make the link and that things get easier for him (and you) soon. Do you think he would agree that he felt better during lockdown when he wasn't drinking?

@HunkyPunk thankyou for the link I will have a read, hes always liked his drink. The GP initially told him it was ok to have a drink with the sertraline, but obviously DS took that to the limit and not just one pint!
Thing is he never gets a hangover so therefore never suffers and is put off.
He was talking a while back about coming off the sertraline and the GP said he should stay on it for at least 6 months.

He seemed abit better this morning, I asked him last night what was wrong but he said nothing. I'm really hoping it's just a small blip.

So DS has admitted he doesn't think the tablets are helping him anymore. I said maybe he needs a higher dose as I read that this sometimes happens. I'm trying to get him to ring the GP but hes reluctant to "go through all the hassle again"
I've mentioned too about the drinking but of course he has to realise himself that he drinks too much.
I just wish we wernt back to this angst again. I feel sick with worry again.

The GP said that DS can double his dose to 100mg but DS is reluctant as he doesn't want to go through all the side effects again, which I understand, but wish he would help himself.
I just seem to worry about him all the time..

@WhatNowFrantic wondered how things are for you and your ds now?

@dappledsunshine Thanks for thinking about me.
Well I'm really pleased to say that things are good!
DS never did up his dose, he still takes 50mg sertraline which seems to be working.
He is much happier, the noise has returned to the house which I love! Never will I tell him to stop singing or being loud!
He started his own business which is going really well and keeping him busy.
The lockdown did him good I think. Being off the alcohol gave him the rest he needed.
Of course now the pubs are open,even tho reduced hours, hes back to enjoying his weekend drinking sessions.
This is his downfall, he doesnt drink at home but goes to extremes on a weekend.
He never gets a hangover tho so just gets up and carries on the next day! I hope one day he will realise the alcohol does him no favours but we will see!
I'm well aware things can change very quickly, as they did in January and I keep a close eye on his mood.
But for now things are good.
Hope everything is good with you

@WhatNowFrantic I'm so pleased to hear how well he's doing, I remember how worried you (quite rightly) were when you first posted.

My ds has had different issues but your mention of the sound returning to the house really resonates with me, it's the best feeling

I’ve read through your thread and I’m glad things are going well. I think you sound like a lovely mum. When my mental health wasn’t great I felt bad for my parents. They carefully tried to work out what to say or do to help. I couldn’t tell them what I needed or why I was feeling that way because I just didn’t know. And I felt bad about that because I knew they wanted to help. Now that I’m feeling much better I look back on that time with gratitude that they were patient and kind. I get the same sense from your post. Looking after your son emotionally, physically, financially etc can be hard work but (if he doesn’t already) I’m sure he’ll look back with such love and thanks. When it’s tough keep going and remember to look after yourself too. I’m sure you’ve heard the oxygen mask on a flight analogy. Wishing you and your family all the best.

Great update OP