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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So worried please help, DS Mental Health Journey, Part 2 *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

267 replies

WhatNowFrantic · 04/02/2020 18:38

I got the last thread deleted as it became quite outing but the support on here has been such a help to me so I've started this thread.
So DS started AD at the weekend and is so far feeling awful, he's pale, pupils dilated, feels anxious and dizzy. I don't think he realises how ill he is.
He's off work so I'm hoping they start to kick in soon. I'm worried he's got too much time on his hands while he's off and don't want him sat thinking.
Of course it's all my fault at the moment as I dragged him to the GP and got him to have time off. He's just not in a good place right now.

OP posts:
speakout · 21/02/2020 05:46

I am a scientist with experience in the pharmaceutical industry. I can asssure you it is not hard to make " exact copies" of drugs like sertraline.
These criteria are strictly controlled by legislation. A molecule is a molecule. "slight variations" are not permissable. It then becomes another substance.

Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 21/02/2020 07:48

Thanks @speakout that's reassuring to hear.
Maybe you could go onto the thread about it in 'mental health' as there are people convinced it's thing.You may be able to convince them.

OP posts:
Throckmorton · 21/02/2020 12:21

God, sorry - just reread my post and realised I did not clarify that sertraline is NOT a drug where there are differences between brands! Thanks speakout for making clear what I did not!

Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 22/02/2020 08:05

Thanks Throckmorton I knew what you meant🙂

OP posts:
Throckmorton · 22/02/2020 11:48

Phew Smile

Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 22/02/2020 23:11

How can I get DS to stop drinking so much?!
It's only on Friday and Saturday but he takes it to the bloody extreme! Last night wasn't too bad, a few pints with a mate. But today he went to the pub before football and back again after football, he got in half an hour ago, totally pissed, trying to cuddle me, talking absolute rubbish. He's saying he has set his alarm to go to the pub to watch the Fury boxing matchHmm I'm pretty sure he won't even hear his alarm but still....
Tomorrow morning he won't even have a headache, it doesn't seem to affect him much the next day, hes just tired, even on AD.
I can't seem to get through to him how bad binge drinking isSad

OP posts:
speakout · 23/02/2020 05:36

WhatNowFrantic

You can't "get " him to do anything. This is outwith your comtrol OP.
Just like my DS attempt at suicide yesterday. THat is not something I can control either.

Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 23/02/2020 05:52

@speakout I'm so sorry to read this, hope you are ok, actually of course you're not ok! I've been there, it's awful.Flowers

And I know I can't make DS do anything, I just wondered if there's anything i can say to make him see sense, but I guess there isn't. It has to come from him.

OP posts:
speakout · 23/02/2020 05:57

WhatNowFrantic

Thank you. Yes it is all so very frustrating. We can't control our adult children, part of dealing with this situation is the helpless feelings that we have. You would like to control the drinking, I would like to stop my DS from his attempts to throw himself into the path of a train.
We can't do that unfortunately. And it is awful to be a bystander to watch our child enact self destructive behaviour.

WTF12345 · 23/02/2020 06:17

'Trying to cuddle me' Isn't that what parents and children do????

speakout · 23/02/2020 06:34

WTF12345

Yes, but I can see the OPs point of view. Coming home inebriated and seeking drunken cuddles can well be disturbing. Alcohol can make people behave inappropriately. I am sure tha OP gives her son lots of affection, but drunken cuddles are not always fun.

Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 23/02/2020 08:36

Trying to cuddle me was probably the wrong phrase, launching himself at me stinking of booze and kebab is more correct. Yes I did cuddle him back of course but it wasn't a normal mum/son cuddleConfused
speakout I so clearly remember the night of DS suicide attempt. I felt totally helpless and scared, I didn't even cry, I was just shaking uncontrollably all night. Dreadful.

OP posts:
Whitegrenache · 27/02/2020 07:12

How is ds?

Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 27/02/2020 11:00

Hi @Whitegrenache thanks for asking. He's doing ok, still taking the AD and has had 3 sessions of CBT so far, the therapist reports he's doing well and his mood is lifting.
Day to day he's ok, some days more down than others but definately an improved mood. He was singing the other day! which made my heart skipSmile
Hes seeing friends and drinking too much at the weekend but not much I can do about that.
He's talking of wanting to find a job so hopefully that won't be long
Definately a marked improvement from a few weeks ago. I'm feeling much happier.

OP posts:
madmumofteens · 27/02/2020 14:40

Oh Frantic that sounds very positive so happy to hear your update xx

Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 27/02/2020 15:54

Thanks @madmumofteens
I just hope things don't go downhill if and when he finds a job.
*incidentally I must say him having a dog has really helped . They've been inseparable since DS has been home. It's true what they say about pet therapy!

OP posts:
madmumofteens · 27/02/2020 16:11

I went a step further in our house and got a puppy, we already had a dog honestly it changed the whole atmosphere in the house brought new life and really helped x

granadagirl · 27/02/2020 16:32

Mothered is definitely a difference in brands even when there suppose to be Sertraline.
I’m not on that myself, but venlafaxine I have to have original Effexor not generic version.
I have known quite a few who have had different brands given and noticed within days they have not felt the same.

Keep to the same brand, and get it put on his notes at the gp
I’ve had put on mine “ can only take this brand”
they will give you generic first as there cheaper

Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 27/02/2020 17:11

@madmumofteens our dog is only a year old, he's great fun but you need eyes in the back of your head. I can't imagine having 2!!😂
@granadagirl I am a bit nervous about him starting a different brand. I wonder if the pharmacist will change them?

OP posts:
Butterer · 27/02/2020 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 27/02/2020 17:28

@Butterer I don't even think he realised he was singingGrin

OP posts:
granadagirl · 28/02/2020 14:19

Did you take meds back to pharmacy? Thing is they may not change them.
Ring gp and ask for new prescription (if there difficult, just stay he didn’t feel right on that brand) ask can you have written on note
Can only take ............ brand he was first given

granadagirl · 28/02/2020 14:20

Oh, ring pharmacy first to ask can you change them if you bring them back to the 1st brand you had

Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 29/02/2020 21:49

DS suggested he took a tablet this morning from the new pack,(different brand) even tho there are a few left in the old pack.
Hasn't made slightest bit of difference thank goodness.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatNowFrantic · 01/03/2020 10:45

Hmmm DS has taken the 2nd tablet from the 'new' box this morning and is now really jittery and anxiousSad
He's not felt like this for a few weeks. Is it a coincidence or is it the different brand🤔
Its set him back which isnt good.

OP posts: