Had the police round this morning

[Notinthemood04]

They'd had "several" reports about me leaving my younger daughter in the car on the school road while I drop my older one at school. This eventually became 2 reports and I know who they are from, although I don't know this person's name.
Even though I haven't done anything wrong in the eyes of the law, the policewoman said she would never even have left a 10 year old alone in a car ever, and would have to refer me to social services.
I have had to agree I will not leave her alone in the car again for the 2 minutes it takes, even though I feel it it safer to leave her strapped into her car seat rather than take her out of the car and into the road. The car is no more likely to get hit in those 2 mins than in the 5 mins we all spend in the car waiting for the school gates to open.
I feel utterly shit and deflated, and like I now I have to do something that feels more of a risk to me than my current not ideal choice.
I don't know if social services will visit me or not. It doesn't really matter.
AIBU as a parent to think that I am capable of making my own choice as to how to best keep both of my children safe? DD2 is 3.7 in case that matters.

Not read all the messages but I''d do it and not even think about it! It's only like the petrol station! Honestly seems bonkers to me. No doubt the Mumsnet jury, who wash their bed linen daily and make roast chicken every night, will have a different overstated view. And lots of people will not fare to be honest against that. Meanwhile, in real life...

We all have opinions when it comes to how to raise our children but when it comes to safeguarding children then the law is pretty clear. You would be annoyed and probably take action if a teacher left your 3 year old strapped in a car unsupervised I'm sure. You've been reported for neglect so you can get angry and disagree all you want but you need to accept it and not do it again. If you don't you are going to end up without any kids to look after!

Leaving a calm 3 year old in a car seat for a couple of minutes is fine. If it is a place and situation they know then it's not going to be stressful to them. All this molly-coddeling and virtue signalling really annoys me - keep your beak out and look after your own kids!

I dont know anyone who would leave a 3 year old in a car in real life Pluckedpencil. Noone. They are too young, it's not safe Some of the stories here would give you pause to think if you did this on a regular basis surely.

If it is literally 2 mins then a 7 year old should be able to walk it, they will be in your line of sight and with other children/parents.

There are 1000 + reasons not to leave a 3 year old.

What if you slipped and broke an ankle?

What if someone wanted to snatch your 3 year old?

What if you left a bag and someone wanted that so smashed the window?

You say she cannot get out of her harness and unlock the doors, but you don't know when she will be able to, and one day she will.

This is not neglect and SS are not empowered to act just because they don't agree with parental choices!

@sashh

1. Don't leave a bag in the car
2. Bag thieves really don't want the hassle!
3. Child snatching is incredibly rare and usually opportunity based - not from a locked car!
4. If you slipped and broke your ankle you daughter is safer in the car initially whilst the faf of calling ambulances etc goes on. Just remember er to say "my daughters in the car on very there" before driving off on the ambulance!

I have a child the same age and she can easily get out of her car seat - is not leave her. Probably nothing would happen, but I couldn’t live with myself if it did !

Actually everyone I have ever known leaves a 3 year old strapped in while they pay for petrol. And according to OP this situation is very similar. Similar distance and visibility of car.

look after your own kids!

Leaving a 3 year old alone in a car is not looking after them.

Sorry, you are being unreasonable. Why is it safer to leave her, than take her? Kids walk to school everyday!

Sounds like it's more convenient for you tbh.

Usual ridiculous replies to to op made by the ridiculous. I can guarantee that most of the people berating the op have left their child in the car when paying for petrol .... too many idiots on Mumsnet nowadays

You should try living in the Middle East where I regularly saw several very young children at a time left in cars with the engines running to keep the car cool. Clambering all over the ship, playing with the steering wheel, not even strapped into a regular seat belt, never mind a child seat, while their parents went out of sight for 10 minutes or more. I once saw a mother do exactly what you did, took her other child into a gym class and leave her baby in the car. The car somehow locked itself and the mother could not get back in. They had to call the fire brigade to get the poor screaming baby out and it took about 40 minutes in total.

Shop not ship 😂

Do people not just pay at the pump for petrol? I can still see my child that way. 🤷‍♀️

A child at 7, is not safe to walk to school alone

But OP thinks her three year old is safe in a car on her own!

Do people not just pay at the pump for petrol?

Yep. Haven't gone in to pay for petrol for longer than I can remember. Have never had to leave my toddler in the car to do so.

I do feel for you, no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. It's a hassle getting them out and back in for the sake of two minutes but the peace of mind they are safe is worth it. Dont beat yourself up now, just learn from it

I actually do know someone who would leave her 3 year old (along with her other 3 under 5’s) while she went to collect her eldest 2. She doesn’t now because of a similar situation with someone reporting her, so she gets 6 kids out of the car daily. But she doesn’t care, she would be reading this thread laughing at the sheer ease of having just 2 children and probably talking about mountains and molehills.

I'm guessing no one on here has ever put their child in the car, and forgot something in the house and ran back in. You definitely remove all children you have just strapped in the car, to go back in the house, and back out to the car again? No wonder some parents are so stressed.

I think the point with her doing it every day for a year is that it’s always at the same time and according to OP, always in the same place.

So a whole school full of people know exactly where OP’s toddler will be alone, and for how long.

So people know who the child belongs to, so if anyone sees someone trying to steal the child (from a locked car) someone will stop them? Also no, no one has said that once. It's all been about cars going on fire, cars crashing into the car, the child escaping from the car

The chances of something happening to a child strapped into a car seat, in a locked car, are miniscual. I would guess about the same as something terrible happening to the child while walking along the road with her mother. The OP said she can see the car usually the whole time she is out of it. Like I said, it's no wonder parents are frazzled, if they can't even run back into the house to grab their purse, whithout taking their child back out of the car.

I can guarantee that most of the people berating the op have left their child in the car when paying for petrol

How can you guarantee that, @Alexis21 ?

I think the OP is making a mistake leaving her child in the car. I never left mine in the car for a single second at that age. Including when paying for petrol (there were no 'pay at pump' options in the Olden Days).

Perhaps stick to your own experiences, rather than making wild claims about other people?

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion I see your point, but would you do that every day for a year? And there is no way op is 2 minutes every time.