To ask, if you had your time again, would you have kids?

[UndecidedOne]

My husband and I don't have kids yet (he's 32 and I'm 27). We have bought a bigger house in preparation for starting a family, but I'm just not sure if I want kids or not. So would you have kids again if you could start over? And what do you like and dislike about being a parent?

Absolutely yes. I’m constantly amazed that I have managed to bring up two quite wonderful young people. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s busy, but we are all happy, we make each other laugh like nobody else can, and we love each other. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. It’s ok.

No I wouldn't.
Like a pp, I want to stop the bus and get off but I am the bus

No, or I’d have had just one.

No, I’m really glad I took a chance and took my son on, I couldn’t imagine life without him even though I do find parent really challenging and hate certain bits of it. Seeing him achieve something, even something tiny will always be a really intensely emotional moment. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t huge challenges.

Being a parent is really really hard, some people seem to be naturals, but none of it comes naturally to me, I’m not naturally paternal at all. You know when you start a new job and you’re completely bewildered, it’s like that everyday.

I’m not me anymore, I’m just Dad, I’ve lost all the things I loved doing before I was Dad, rugby, triathlons, decent holidays, socialising more than a couple of times a year. I really miss being me.

But he’s only four and a half, I’ve only been a dad for three years, I’m hoping it will start getting a bit better as I really would like to cling on to that tiny bit of sanity I do still have, even if it is a teeny tiny bit.

Yes. You only get one chance to experience life and being a parent is a fantastic facet.

I stopped at one. Didn’t feel the need for a family but wanted a child. It’s been a doodle although “ guilt” is a prevalent feeling. I wished I’d been a more relaxed parent.

No I wouldn't. I love them unconditionally but as they get older I hurt for them and worry about them and wish I could do so much more for them and this will last for the rest of my life.

Yes absolutely. I would have had 3 or 4 (we have two)

No way

Yes I would without any doubt. I would have had them earlier and more of them. My children are my world, it’s an amazing journey. I have loved every minute and would do it all again in a heartbeat.

I actually cannot quite believe that people with children on here are saying if they had the chance to turn back time, they wouldn't have them.
I truly never ever believed that there would be so many people who feel that way!
It makes me so curious as to what people envisaged motherhood would be like and if it doesn't live up to those expectations, how so?

(Genuine question by the way - I hope people don't think i'm trying to be facetious, but am just truly curious what would make a person wish they didn't have their children)

FWIW - I have wonderful husband and a wonderful family and a fantastic life without children, but having a family of my own has added to that 1000000000 times over and would never ever take it back.

Simon is he your bio son ?

I don't know.
Yes, the experience of motherhood is wondrous but I feel my mental health has really suffered. I have nearly continual guilt about my parenting abilities and anxiety over their futures.

Yes definitely at least one, but not at 27. Enjoy yourself now, I think between 30-35 is a good age (I’ve ended up with my last at 40 which is too old for me, combination of miscarriages, job changes and an unplanned third pregnancy...)

Tears at my heart to say this as I love my children so dearly and went through a lot to have them but no, probably not.

It's constant, I'm fucking exhausted and I resent having no life and no money

I have an SEN child and a 2 year old and I don't get a second to breathe.

Absolutely 100% yes. Even though it’s very hard in someways.

But then I always wanted children. There was never a point where I questioned it.

@LouReidDododo No, but biologically we are related.

God no. I never felt like I wanted them anyway.....I love them...but hate the tantrums, the mess, the expense, the lack of freedom. I miss my old life!

Yes definitely

I wish I hadn't bothered.

Depends - would I have the knowledge and experience of having had kids?

I always wanted them and so yes I would have them again.

But if I could go back in time and know exactly how it would be.....

If I’m honest I didn’t really stay to love it until my eldest was 3 or so. I found the baby years very hard going indeed but oh my god they are my absolute best chums and we have really good chats and giggles together. I hope we’ll be friends for life although we’re coming up to the teenage years so.....

Absolutely no way. My body, my career, my mental health have all suffered beyond my believe. But worse than that, I have lost my freedom which was more precious to me than I ever realised. I am now a single mum and feel trapped and overwhelmed. It's awful to say, and makes me feel like a monster, but I truly wish I'd never had them.

27 is a good age to have your first child. If you haven't enjoyed your life so far, I doubt you will ever.

I only have one and I love having him. I'd do it all again.
Yes, you'll have less money and not that much time for yourself, but it's also a joy watching them grow.
I'd happily skip the baby years, though.
It is a commitment to have a person's life depend on you for at least 18 years, though.

@muddypuddles12 it’s definitely not uncommon, there’s a lot of articles written about it and lots and lots of posts on forums like reddit and MN, because most people like to keep it anonymous because they’re scared of being judged for it.

I’d start sooner and have 3. They’re awesome.