Got drunk last night - had to be driven home and put to bed.

[glitteryboots]

Please give me some of your drunk stories to make me feel better - was only round at a friend's house and her husband's measures are lethal! Should have known before I went but I never learn.

Too many to mention (I am a reformed character now) but

a) walked home on the track of the Great Eastern Railway from Manor Park Station to Maryland Station (fell down a hole and ripped my trousers as well)

b) pebbledashed the hall, stairs and landing in a shared house, threw up in a pan on the cooker (expertly, no spillage) and then went straight to bed

c) convinced someone to DTD and fell asleep on top of them - they were too polite to wake me up (or perhaps as drunk as I was)

Vomit seems to be my standard reaction to too much booze. First ever hang over. Was a fresher at uni, got unintentionally hammered at formal hall, the hang over lasted 3 days & involved me trying to vom out of my dads car window on the m25. Also got accidentally hammered again at uni. Was put to bed by my FWB who found me wandering campus, beaming merrily. He gave me a firemans lift up the 3 flights of stairs to my room and left me crisps for when I woke up. Woke up draped over the side of the bed with sick all down it, I'd drunkenly put myself kind of in the recovery position. Thank God!

Got put in an uber after a night out. Felt queasy, daren't be sick out the window, made the driver turn the music up, stuck head in handbag "looking for keys", emptied & then threw up in my make up bag. Felt like death the next morning but gritted my teeth & got ready for work. Was violently sick one last time before I left to commute and felt much better!

Chucked up at a party, all ok. When round 2 was threatening to appear, someone was having sex/snorting coke in the loo. Hurled myself down 3 flights of stairs to the msun front door and threw up neat white wine on the door step, had a disco nap in the front hall & went back to the party 40 min.

Oh god, very outing, but got so trashed one night I insisted on a cab home from the park where we’d all drunkenly decided to go after getting very drunk in the house.

The cabbie was bemused, I kept insisting, turns out we were literally round the corner from our student house. I went to my room and crashed with people banging on the Yale locked door shitting themselves that I was going to puke and suffocate cos I was so pissed. I slept in my contact lenses, there was no way I could have got them out. Bad, bad error. Ugh, seriously put me off drinking for quite some time!

I got bladdered last night. Do not remember getting home. I had sex with my DP, cried for an hour and vomited all over the toilet and bathroom floor. Don't remember any of it, DP was telling me this afternoon. Absolutely mortified!

I am not a big drinker (last time I was seriously drunk was many years ago and I think I almost poisoned myself and wanted someone to put me out of my misery but no one was around to do it so I suffered for many hours before my system got back to normal)

but! I have a friend who does drink rather too much too often and she can judge if she has gone too far when she wakes up in the morning and her shoes are in the garden and her handbag in the bath.

It's true!

@SimonJT That's one of my favourite stories ever!!!

Not my experience but memorable! On the morning a an 'O' level Maths exam, that's how long ago it was, three of our star pupils turned totally wasted, been on the bottle since parents had gone to work early. We fed them black coffee intravenously so to speak, then walked them round a flat roof outside the staffroom, trying hard to keep them from a very low ledge surrounding the roof! They must be into their late 50s or early 60s now of they made it!

My parents when in their late 70s through a New Year’s Eve party for their similarly aged neighbours. One of them had to be literally carried home, one fell in a bush on the way home, and one crashed unconscious on the sofa all night. Respect to the oldies!

So, so many....

The falling asleep under my mates car outside her house...her neighbour found me (about 6pm)

The 32 missed calls from me to my first mobile which was in my handbag at my front door

The running away from my mates in Catania and getting COMPLETELY lost in the middle of the night.

The tripping over the barbed wire coming back from a rugby club disco, walking across a military airfield

Lots of UDIs (unidentified Drinking Injuries).

Christmas drinks at our posh neighbours Christmas just gone, went from fine to bolloxed via room move. Got lost going to the loo, and tried to take someone’s mobile home. DH had mine, and removed me from the gathering. I was in bed for 9 and had no hangover (only that curdling shame you have when you realise you have no recollection beyond a certain point. I’m 52. Jesus 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Not me but my sister. Home after a night out and sat on the loo with her head flopping when she lost her balance and fell forward. She ended up on the floor, bare arsed, folded in half, rolling around with her head stuck in the gusset of her tights. She needed help to get out of that one.

That's just finished me off @KatnissNeverdone The mental image of it has broken me. I think that might be the funniest thing I've ever read on MN.

@DukeChatsworth my ex husband did that once. We'd gone out for a 4 course meal and drinks and then he decided he wanted more food on the way home. Got woken up the next morning by him puking. He told me he'd suctioned it back up the hoover. made him bin it and buy me a brand new one

My partner in crime bestie died a few years ago. God, I miss her every day. But now our drunken shenanigans are mine alone to carry. The burden is heavy. 🤫

Oh I have a few.

Most recent and most costly would be in 2017 at the age of 30 DP and I for some reason (already battered at this point) decided to start smashing the sambuccas. I was wearing heels and it had snowed. On the way to get food I slipped and landed face first. I smashed my front tooth (and slightly chipped the smaller tooth next to it). It required a root canal and crown and because I wasn’t registered with an NHS dentist cost about £2000. Mind you the quality of work was brilliant you can’t tell at all and my front teeth previously had a slight overlap and they don’t now so silver linings and all that

Worst was probably the first time my DP met my parents. I was in university and he came to my parents (4 hours away). We went out with my friends and I ended up getting kicked out the club we were at for being too drunk. (I very much think I had been spiked as I was ill for about a week and a half after and I had only drank 3/4 rums which wasn’t anything for me then). DP somehow managed to navigate the taxi back to my parents house but when I got out I collapsed on the floor and he couldn’t stand me up. He had to leave me on the floor (about 4 doors down) wake my dad up, and they both had to carry me home. I lay on the kitchen floor being sick all over myself. DP was apparently frantically apologising to my dad for it happening and crying so worried about me. I couldn’t eat for 3 days or so. The next day (evening) when I finally woke up DP was so worried about me bless him he just burst into tears saying how awful it was my parents must hate him my friends must hate him. We all think I must have been spiked to get that bad but I cringe soooooo much when I think about it.

I used to be a teacher. We had our Christmas do one year in the school hall, followed by pub and club. Too late for the tube, we all found places to stay. Several people stayed in the old caretaker's cottage on the school site and spent the night freezing with only a roll of bubble wrap for warmth, I went home with the office manager and woke up in bed with him, and the deputy head tried to get into his office, but the alarm was on, so he slept under a bush outside the school. Lots of people had ONS with colleagues, knickers were lost, there was lots of drunken snogging in the street between school and the pub. It was utterly debauched. Thank God it was inset the next day.
Teachers are a messy lot. Every school I've worked in has been a hot bed of affairs, hook ups, and highly inappropriate relationships (between staff, nothing THAT awful).

Oh a pretty funny harmless story was me and a friend were in our local pub. Most of the bar staff were good friends / knew us well as did the owner. Had a few to drink and smoked a bit of weed and were in the toilets. The clock batteries had stopped so we decided to climb the sinks get it down and give to our friend behind the bar to change it. Except when we got it down we got paranoid about giving it over so I put it in my bag. I took it home and forgot about it. then forgot. It would have been about 6 months later when me and friend decided to move in together I was packing and found this clock in my wardrobe. So I changed the batteries and one night took it back to pub and we hung it back up. Probably a few months later we mention it to our friend who worked at the bar and apparently it had been a big mystery the disappearing / reappearing clock it had them all perplexed for months!

I once got really drunk (although my friends were using a bong and I suspect I made have inhaled quite a bit of second hand dope smoke) at a party, my friend put me to bed.... in the morning I woke up pantless and undieless but no idea how.

Turned out I had apparently wanted a shower and wandered out to the loungeroom where everyone was without my pants and undies onto go in search of a shower.

Thank god for my good friend who just took me back to bed haha.

I was a vomiter. Funniest was when I'd been drinking snakebite and black in my early days of said drink. I was in the bathroom and a friend heard me crying/wailing. Came to see what was wrong. I told her I must be dying because I was vomiting blood. She had a quick look and said, "it's blackcurrant, you twat!" I stopped crying immediately and got back to throwing up

Sausageroll you asked why people went out with the intention of getting hammered. I had a few reasons. These days I know I have a little bit of social anxiety, groups of more than two or three can be trying. When I was drinking heavily I think my subconscious was aware of the anxiety and thought that copious amounts of alcohol was cure. I was also insecure and felt confident when drunk. Obviously, that's stupid because drunks are generally a mess. The third thing was that due to my mum and stepfather drinking heavily from when I was about 11, I had a real fear of being around drunk people. I didn't start drinking heavily until I was about 23. I'd had the odd really messy experience before that including a hangover that had me in bed for about three days so alcohol poisoning, basically. When I was drunk, drunk people didn't scare me so I started drinking a lot and continued for over a decade. I haven't had a proper hangover in over a decade. After my school reunion with women from my year I thought I had a mild one this morning but realised I'd forgotten to take my night time epilepsy drugs so that's why I had a light head! I can go months without drinking now or drink two or three times in a month if I'm going out socialising in a drinking situation. I have a maximum of three drinks, feel a lovely buzz from it, and stop. I love my relationship with alcohol these days.

At a friends 21st many years ago, after drinking spirits my mate had made in his garden shed and dressed as a medieval princess. Two hot boys I fancied turned up in their van. They were teetotallers so took one look at the carnage and decided not to come in. Before they could leave I had sprinted to the curb and was hanging in the window of the van, offering to come back to theirs for a threesome. When they declined I begged! Oh the mortifying shame of it, I begged, hanging onto the window while they tried to roll it up and slurring all the sexy things I would do to them! It didn’t work and they drove off. Covered myself in glory that night!

God just reread and realised that is one of the ones I can actually laugh about. Yes, that is one of the less embarrassing nights! There are others so bad I cannot recount them

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of most people’s reaction to alcohol. Yes, some people will go out with the sole intention of getting too drunk to remember it; however the vast majority of people don’t really intend on getting as drunk as they do. Sometimes it’s that they have several strong drinks in quick succession, so they don’t feel they’re “drunk enough”, so they have some more, then suddenly it all kicks in, by which point it’s too late and they’re utterly steaming. Also there’s the fact that alcohol massively lowers inhibitions and impairs judgement, so the idea of having several shots or whatever seems like a marvellous idea at the time.

Then there’s people who, as Ravenesque said, feel awkward and uncomfortable and use alcohol as a way to “loosen up” (a “friend” of mine does this, and it’s a shame as he’s actually a lovely kind bloke but turns into a massive twat when he’s drunk) Others have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol due to their upbringing.

But most of it boils down to the fact that people usually don’t go out with the specific intention of police/paramedic involvement; or to harm themselves.

Not half as fun as anyone else's story but last September when ds was 2 months, I went to my aunts house for a girls night with my mum, some other aunts and cousins.
I hadn't drank since the start of 2018 as we'd been ttc and I went for the "healthy lifestyle" 2 glasses of wine in and I was sick all over the kitchen, my mum rang dh and told him that I wouldn't be coming home and to check if he was going to be OK with ds over night (I was planning to be home by 11 😂)

Had an unexpected night out town with a friend, we both got completely drunk and he ended up being kicked out the club. Me being my drunken self told him to wait for me until the club closed (was half an hour before closing) he got food came back and by that time I couldn't even walk. I was blacking out but can remember being on a bus and then throwing up. Found out the next day I had threw my purse across the bus cause I couldn't get my change out, sat down and was dry heaving so someone offered me a Greggs bag (like the one they put sausage rolls in) to be sick in. Ended up being sick over the guy sitting in front of me Apparently I apologies a million times but the guy was really nice and told my friend not to worry because he could see that I was a mess. Safe to say I've never drank like that again !

Once in a gay bar a lady told me that to call someone a cunt was a compliment. That obviously stayed in my subconscious so when I was away again with the same group of friends some 2 years later, drunk me decided to call every single person I saw on the way to our apartment... a cunt 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
This was last week and I’m 50

@QOD

Blimey

I blagged my way into an open air concert after drinking all day. On leaving, there were lots of police cars and for some reason this enraged me. I then began banging on a police car in the manner of a baboon at Longleat. The police didn't like this and gave chase, so I fled towards the woods, but only managed a couple of strides before I tripped over my own feet. As the policeman approached I didn't know what to do so I began to cry . He was a lot kinder than he had to be and sent me home.