Got drunk last night - had to be driven home and put to bed.

[glitteryboots]

Please give me some of your drunk stories to make me feel better - was only round at a friend's house and her husband's measures are lethal! Should have known before I went but I never learn.

Also I went out in Bolton once and woke up in Wigan

I got very, very drunk at a club that had about a million stairs to get up to the toilet.

I ran up to be sick (with heels on) and made it in one piece. Felt a lot better so decided to go back down and carry on drinking.

Got to the top of the stairs and thought it would be a fantastic idea to go down the bannister. Lost my footing and bounced down every single one of the steps, landing in a crumpled heap at the bottom.
I stood up and stretched my arms like a gymnast does at the end of their routine

Woke up the next morning and was black and blue down my whole right side. There wasn't an inch of skin on my leg or abdomen that wasn't bruised.
Broke 2 ribs too.

Thank fuck there wasn't iPhones back then.

when I was 18, I gave myself black eyes on the same night. was in a nightclub and tripped up the steps in the smoking area - headbutted a wooden beam and did the first one. spent an hour or so sat in the corner on a red sleeping bag dozing away until my friend found me. we left to go home and bumped into a group of friends walking same way. apparently, I had something I desperately needed to show them on my phone and whilst doing so and distracted I walked straight into a lamppost and did the other eye. ended up in a and e with concussion doh!

bean bag*

Got really drunk at metro club (god test its soul) and pulled a guy. Went back to his and had sex. Must have fallen asleep/passed out and then all I remember was "coming too" outside his flat naked except for a bag of sweet wrappers. He opened the door to me and was like what's in the bag?! I have no idea how I came to have a bag of sweet wrappers.

And to top it off couldn't find my tights in the morning and was wearing a very short dress.

Spent NYE in Krakow a few years ago, got hideously drunk on Polish vodka the first night and tripped on the way home and went head first into a wall. had to spend the rest of the trip walking around with the most enormous black eye. My eye make-up was still imprinted on the wall the next morning!

@ClientQueen ha I've done the opposite

When DH and I had been seeng each other for about 3-4 weeks, I took him to a friend's party down the road where I lived. She was making punch and throwing all sorts into it. DH had one glass and left it, telling me it was lethal. I had two glasses pretty quickly and became absolutely plastered. The room was swaying, I felt so drunk.

He made a decision to take me home because I was in such a state. I could hardly walk and he just about carried me. He sat me on the garden wall while he got the front door open and I fell over backwards into the garden. I bumped my head and was all muddy and he had to pick me up out of the garden and carry me in.

I said I felt sick and he helped me upstairs and put me in the loo and held my hair back while I threw up several times. He got a flannel and washed my face and hands, helped me into the bathroom and had to take my clothes off so I could have a shower and clean my teeth. He put me to bed and got me some painkillers and a big glass of orange juice and water then sat beside me in the dark and just was so nice and soothing while I calmed down and fell asleep.

The next day- I get terrible hangovers very easily- he just looked after me with no fuss or drama. I was so embarrassed at what he had seen but so impressed with him.

Went out with DH to a party with one of his customers, fabulous bloke amazing night but he was ex navy and made killer martinis. I was used to drinking with the young farmers but the navy was a whole new level.

Think I had three or four, decided to go to the loo. Went to the loo and fell asleep. Problem was we were on a narrowboat and thankfully it had two loos. Took them an hour to extricate me from the loo area. Was very very very wedged.

3yrs ago, my friends birthday party.
She lives a few hours away so I got the train up and was staying overnight.
Party was fine, brilliant, I drank my usual beer, had a few shots, put on rollerskates, all ok, until I discovered the Jim Beam, uh oh.
I had to get the train home the next day, Id showered and brushed my teeth but there was no getting rid of the alcohol smell and I felt rough, Im convinced I got the train carriage drunk on my breath.
Dd met me at our home station and had to lead me home, I had a cup of tea, a giant bag of crisps and slept for two days!

It's the same friends 40th this month and I'm going, but not touching Jim fucking Beam!

Tombli “fell up the stairs“

I’ve done this while not drunk so I’m relieved it’s not just me who falls upstairs!

My sistler got really out of it once years ago I was asked if i could go and get her home. My mum would have had kittens of she had known and she, before she passed out, asked me to put her to bed and make it look as if she'd been there for hours. I had to carry her upstairs and do it all in a hush hush mode as if our mum would have heard;!

Never mind all was well. I just told me mum she came in earlier and didnt feel that well so was having an early night!

This was years ago now she hasnt had another drink ever!

" my drunk/hungover brain had forgotten we moved just before we went away and I had in fact woken up in my own bed with my own boyfriend."
Brilliant :o
Mine is one I remember (badly) with shame. I was at university on a night out in another city. My friend and I both got very drunk very quickly, she was sick and I wandered off from my friends. I then got a lift home with a bunch of men, no idea who they were and I don't remember the journey. Thankfully they were decent and dropped me at my halls, no keys, no purse. The porter let me into my room where I passed out. The next day I woke up to find I couldn't walk.
I was talking to my friend about it recently and apparently there were rumours we were spiked by some 'friends'.

ClientQueen

@SimonJT 😹 At least you confessed 🤷🏻‍♀️

Last time I had vodka (I was at home) I drank too much, stripped off to just my pants 🤦🏻‍♀️ & Dh found me throwing up in the bathroom. Apparently I look sexy hugging a toilet in my pants throwing up.

You just know somewhere there’s a website for a fetish where people throw up but in nice undies.

Then there was the time I got drunk on gin, called Dh a lightweight, went upstairs, threw up over the the stairs, the bathroom & myself then got into bed. Dh tried to get my pyjamas off me but I refused saying I didn’t want to have sex. It took him a while to persuade me I was safe, mainly because he had to clean up a lot of sick.

Then there was the time I got drunk & threw up over the back of dhs car in Dorridge of all places. Dh has altered this story over the years to include me wetting myself but I didn’t.

I got drunk at mils’s and my hands started to wander in dh’s crotch area.

I don’t drink now.

Went out with ex BF and his DB. We were on good terms and part of me wanted him to think what he was missing. Got so drunk/sick I fell asleep in the ladies sat next to a toilet with my cheek on the porcelain rim (of a PUBLIC PUB TOILET!!! ). In the end security staff had to let ex BF come into the ladies to shamefully find me that way what a catch he was missing eh?! I still feel like I need to disinfect my face and that was around 20 years ago.

I bumped into my first real boyfriend at a village fete about 2 years after we went our separate ways to university. I still fancied him like rotten. I had too much cider as Dutch courage, tried to snog him, was sick in a field and he had to take me home to my parents, who had some old family friends around. Put to bed by my dad aged 21, at 5.30pm.

@SimonJT my dh did something similar he rarely goes out and one night early in our marriage he went out and got very pissed he woke up.next to me and said where am I who am i in bed with ( think his eyes were still closed ) I said me your bloody wife he said thank God and went back on to sleep

In my youth, many years ago...I was rather tipsy (let’s just say there was a meal with wine, drinks out and then shots). We went to a takeaway. I stepped backwards and fell in a bin! It was an oil drum 🛢 style bin so I was basically stuck with my bum in it, head and legs out. I’ve done an illustration which I’ll attach. Not my finest moment.

Oops here’s the picture

I remember walking up some stairs in a pub....stopping to throw up all over them and the wall then just carried on up them like nothing had happened and got on with my night.

Also lying in bed, sitting up to vomit all over duvet then lying back down with vomit covered duvet on me and sleeping until the morning.

I'm virtually tee total nowadays.

At a friend's post-wedding party (they got married abroad), I was with my partner, now DH. I drank too much vodka, kissed someone I went to university with in full view of the whole room. Got a taxi home alone, realised I didn't have any money so ran away and hid in the trees instead of paying. When the driver had gone I realised I didn't have a key either, so I smashed the lounge window and went upstairs to bed. I then wet the bed.
I hope that makes you feel better.

@SimonJT wins the thread for me - hilarious but also endearingly wholesome

I have been enjoying this epic Glaswegian drunken antic here: twitter.com/ladbible/status/1118174035047780357?lang=en