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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
Wobblywibblywoo · 02/02/2020 18:50

@PotteringAlong how is it any of your business if the OPs husband doesn’t want to shop alone exactly

Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 18:51

And don't get me wrong, there are times when we all end up at the shop, but usually because we're out already, and need to nip in for a few items...i don't mind that, it's the full week shop that doesn't need an entourage!

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 02/02/2020 18:54

Completely agree...food shopping is not a family outing or activity. The supermarket run would be much easier and quicker to navigate if entire families did not turn out to do the shopping.

CrocodileFrock · 02/02/2020 18:55

"How about you all go shopping together, and then while one of you does the running about with a trolley round Tescos or wherever, the other takes the kids and goes and sits in a coffee shop somewhere?"

Ah, I take it that you haven't heard that children apparently shouldn't be in coffee shops either?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3812101-coffee-shops-on-a-sunday-morning-and-children

Needmorecaffine · 02/02/2020 18:57

Hey ! That's my thread. Wink

Snog · 02/02/2020 18:58

I'm always surprised when people don't get their groceries delivered tbh - unless you shop at places that don't deliver.

I find it saves me a lot of time and I don't end up spending extra on random stuff that wasn't on my list. It's also easier to budget as if I go over budget I can put something back easily.
I schedule the delivery time for when DH is around so he can do the heavy lifting of putting the shopping away.

We do still visit supermarkets but only a handful of times a year.

SunshineCake · 02/02/2020 19:00

How do you expect children to learn about the reality of family life if they aren't involved ?

They need to see what is involved, be able to help, chose some new foods to try, learn about prices etc.

Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 19:04

My mum or dad did all the grocery shopping when I lived at home. I never went. Somehow, I learned that food didn't just appear in the fridge, and that it did, in fact, cost money. It was never a chore I struggled with when I went off on my own, so I hardly think that leaving dcs home while I shop means that they will be at a disadvantage when they're adults!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 19:05

They are allowed input in meal planning, treats, etc, and they cook family meals, and small meals for themselves.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 19:06

To answer someone's question, I work during the week, so tend to shop at weekends!

OP posts:
ThreeAnkleBiters · 02/02/2020 19:06

YANBU, I order online because I can't stabd going even when I'm on my own let alone dragging the kids too!

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/02/2020 19:09

It varies. Some weeks I take dd almost 3. She sits in trolley and eats a pepper or cucumber - yes we pay for it at end - and we talk about colours and numbers / ie what colour are the apples. How many are we going to to have

She has been coming with me on and off since she was few weeks old

Shopping can be boring but it stuff we need

And good for children to do boring essential stuff as well as parks soft play etc

Other times I leave her at home with her dad and enjoy the hour of peace

MaggieAndHopey · 02/02/2020 19:10

I'm not a particularly tolerant person but it has never occured to me to be annoyed by this. Personally either my husband or I do the weekly shop on our own. I find it easier to concentrate on getting what I need and not forgetting anything if it's just me, plus I like the relative peace and thinking time. But what other people do is... what other people do. I don't think of my time as being more important or valuable than anyone else's, so if people want to take their whole extended family group to the supermarket with them it's no skin off my nose.

People are so precious these days!

Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 19:10

Oh! One last thing: I am not nasty at all when in the grocery store. I'm in education, and I love kids, so I do coo over babies if appropriate, and am polite when trying to get around family groups along the way.
I save my rant for when I get home/get on MN! Wink

OP posts:
hauntedvagina · 02/02/2020 19:11

My children and husband do the shopping with me every week. My children know how to behave in public and if the younger one does start to get bored my husband takes him for a walk outside. Older DS helps me with the shop, he knows to check sell by dates and look at the most cost effective way of buying items. I've found he's a lot more likely to try a new food if he's seen it in the supermarket and has 'chosen' it than had it plonked down in front of him.

Knowing how to do a grocery shop is a life skill, how do you expect a child to survive at uni or when they've moved out if you haven't taught them something as basic as a budgeted food shop.

Stephminx · 02/02/2020 19:11

My daughter loves to shop - and I use it to teach her all kinds of things (counting oranges into the bag, how to pick nice apples, etc).

I do find it a pain so try to avoid doing it to be honest, but also think it’s important stuff for her to learn so do take her (but not every trip).

I wouldn’t do it as a family outing with DH, but I don’t need to as we both drive etc. We also have better things to do.

Surprisingly, not all people do drive / have a car. There might be physical issues which mean they need help lifting or packing. Or they could be doing it on the way back from a family outing. There’s all sorts of reasons. I can’t say I get too worked up about families doing their weekly shop in a supermarket.

Why not order online, click and collect or try a different quieter time than a weekend morning if you’re that bothered ?

BettyAll1 · 02/02/2020 19:18

Is anyone keeping a master list of all the places that Mumsnetters don’t like seeing other people’s children? So far we have:

Coffee shops
Restaurants
Supermarkets

There must be more...

tmh88 · 02/02/2020 19:18

Think I’m the only one here that loves going to the supermarket Blush however I do prefer it minus DS and DP. Sometimes all 3 of us go but that’s mainly so we can choose what we want to take to work for the week etc.

MaggieAndHopey · 02/02/2020 19:20

"Why not order online, click and collect or try a different quieter time than a weekend morning if you’re that bothered ?"

Well, quite, but that would mean the OP changing her behaviour rather than getting annoyed with everyone else for not doing things the way she does. So clearly that's not going to happen.

zonkin · 02/02/2020 19:21

I also find it a bit odd that some people on here need to use a car but are reliant on other people to drive them about.

Fair enough not to drive when you live in a place with decent public transport. But otherwise I just don't get it.

UrgentHelp12345 · 02/02/2020 19:21

My lidl has shopping trolleys for kids, my kids love them

Why would i leave them at home when they could have a super duper time putting things in their own little trolley, gives them somthing to do and tires them out, means by time we get home they just want to chill and i can organise my shopping in peace Grin

I tend to leave DP at home cause hes more hard work than the kids!

lyralalala · 02/02/2020 19:22

Is anyone keeping a master list of all the places that Mumsnetters don’t like seeing other people’s children? So far we have:

Coffee shops
Restaurants
Supermarkets

There must be more...

Weddings
Cinema
Parents night

Somewhat amusingly I have an invitation for a child free christening next month

lyralalala · 02/02/2020 19:24

*I also find it a bit odd that some people on here need to use a car but are reliant on other people to drive them about.^

Fair enough not to drive when you live in a place with decent public transport. But otherwise I just don't get it.

Driving lessons are expensive. As is a second car and insurance

BecauseReasons · 02/02/2020 19:24

I like shopping with the family. It's more fun that way, and my toddler enjoys helping put things in the trolley. So sue me.

It's not a route-march, and if you want it to be then might I suggest you go later at night when the younger children are generally in bed? Even ALDI is open until 8.

expatinspain · 02/02/2020 19:26

Boring chores are part of life and children need to
partake in them from time to time. One day they'll have to do their own shopping and it will be a bit of a culture shock if they've never been with their own parents to do it. Aren't the boring mundane things part of teaching children life skills too?

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