Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
managedmis · 02/02/2020 18:08

Personally I prefer my kids have an opportunity to offer input into the grocery shop.

^^

GrinWine

GreenTulips · 02/02/2020 18:08

Personally I prefer my kids have an opportunity to offer input into the grocery shop

Yep me too! Been living off quavers, liquorice all sorts and Vimto the past two weeks.

ilovesooty · 02/02/2020 18:10

People have different activity choices and ways of doing things. It's surely not about who goes to the supermarket but about being considerate to your fellow shoppers while you're there.

herecomesthsun · 02/02/2020 18:10

Our kids loved shopping as it often went together with tea in a nice cafe.

Femail · 02/02/2020 18:10

I agree I work in a supermarket and when the doors opened today it was like all hell broke lose with kids screaming everywhere and people not keeping a eye in there kids. Pulling things off the shelves and getting in the way of other customers. No need for it

theThreeofWeevils · 02/02/2020 18:11

living off quavers, liquorice all sorts and Vimto the past two weeks

Grin Grin PMSL, GreenTulip. Thanks for that.

ManiacalLapwing · 02/02/2020 18:11

I usually shop alone early on a Saturday (there before 8), but sometimes I do take my teen. He needs to learn how to meal plan, budget and do a weekly shop before adulthood.

PettyContractor · 02/02/2020 18:14

Nobody has to to go to a supermarket, you can get food delivered. If the person who wants to go to the supermarket doesn't drive, then the whole family has to go.

GrumpyHoonMain · 02/02/2020 18:14

I use the food shop to teach DN about different veg - she gets to pick one new veg to try every time. I purposefully only go to the fresh food and dairy sections when I’m with her because teasing her with an aisle full of sweets and chocolate when I’m not going to buy her anything from there is unfair

Doggybiccys · 02/02/2020 18:16

YANBU. I can’t abide the en mass shopping. Dragging kids round shops - grocery or other. Toddlers in M&S bawling their eyes out and bored looking partners getting in everyone’s way. Me and DH take turns but always go alone. It’s something that is to be tolerated not enjoyed!

lollybee1 · 02/02/2020 18:17

Totally agree. It seems to be a cultural thing here. Mum, dad and all 5 kids.
Hate kids in supermarkets I go late and still get them running in front of the trolley.

rosesandcashmere · 02/02/2020 18:18

I agree with you OP. It's not 'fun' for anyone. If one doesn't drive, send the one who does? It's not a fun family day out. Try a park.

UnnecessarilyUpset · 02/02/2020 18:18

I don't see the problem personally.

Sure, kids can get in the way and but that is down to irresponsible parenting surely? You can't generalise all families.

If the kids are behaved or at least being taught how to by responsible parents then what's the problem?

I personally find it more annoying that people hover right near you causing you to question whether you're in their way whilst you're also looking at something because no one can f*ing say excuse me anymore!

karencantobe · 02/02/2020 18:18

The poor people comment -

I see lots of kids in M and S.

HighNetGirth · 02/02/2020 18:19

I think a lot do it because neither parent is prepared to be the one who is left at home with the children.

Runmybathforme · 02/02/2020 18:21

Drives me batchy too. I also feel sorry for the poor kids being dragged around. Can’t really understand why anyone does it, why not have it delivered ?

BettyAll1 · 02/02/2020 18:28

We enjoy the odd family trip to the supermarket to buy nice food at the weekend. My 3 year old loves getting involved. If you want to do your shopping where others don’t get in your way then try online shopping.

Pomegranatemolasses · 02/02/2020 18:36

I sometimes wonder if it's a control issue - husband has to be there to ensure wife isn't frittering away the money.

No idea why anyone would inflict this upon themselves on a voluntary basis.

Needmorecaffine · 02/02/2020 18:36

Kids with their parents in Waitrose has got to be the worst. 🤣

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 02/02/2020 18:42

I don’t get it either. Just order online or send one adult. It doesn’t need two adults as surely by that age people are capable of food shopping.

Iwantedthat · 02/02/2020 18:42

Because maybe only dad drives and mum does the shopping better, and you don't have a babysitter. Plus kids have to learn to get on with it! (Yes that is my situation)

MustangsDraggedMeAway · 02/02/2020 18:46

In the place I live it is some people's tradition/culture to take the grandmother along as well, besides the many children. I've seen toddlers just learning to walk free ranging and worry I will run one of them over, or a granny, with my cart. Worse yet is all the hand shaking and meeting of friends that block the aisles.

I've started to go to a more expensive supermarket where shopping is less stressful.

Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 18:48

Wow! I didn't expect so many responses!
OK, it's clearly a mixed bag here, and if I'd come back a bit earlier, I would respond a bit more specifically to individuals, but I'll try to give the gist.
My DCs do give input for the shop...in the form of a list before we go. They do not need to be mooching around with me at aldi for me to figure out what kind of chocolate they want. 🙄
Also, they are 12 and 13, with chores at home, so I can assure you, they are well versed in "boring things that need to be done". They are also fairly civilised in public, so they don't really need a shopping trip to teach them how to behave.
And as I said, for lone parents, or people without support, it may be necessary. I also understand some posters who don't drive, who go with their husbands...my DH is awesome, but if I give him the list, he buys what we need, along with 1000 items that we categorically don't Grin so I can see their points there.
And yes, I can get delivery, but due to a job change, I'm trying to rely on Aldi exclusively for my weekly shop to save a bit of money. I'm also a meal planner/control freak, so weekend shopping works better for me.
I guess really, the question is, if you don't HAVE to take everyone along, why would you? I actually love grocery shopping, and since my DCs were little, it's been an hour to myself, wandering around.

OP posts:
Emmacb82 · 02/02/2020 18:49

I have a 3 year old that is obsessed with food shopping and loves going. He will happily sit in the trolley the whole way round and if asked where he wants to go today, he will mostly pick a supermarket!! I’ve always been strict that he was never allowed out of the trolley though and I think that’s helped.
However, when the time comes that he wants to run riot and misbehave, I will do the shop myself on a weekend and leave him at home with dh. Not just for the benefit of other people but for my own sanity! Can’t think of anything worse than trying to shop with 3 screaming kids in tow.

MapMyMum · 02/02/2020 18:49

Yanbu. Like you say, completely understand there are certain situations that means they have to come along but they need to be taught to behave appropriately. Just 2 days ago I was in Tesco and a mum was there with her 4 teenagers and they took up the whole aisle, all sauntering around with their hands in their pockets like they were admiring the scenery and right in the way of everybody. Mum looked pleased as punch to have them all around her like a fart slowly wafting around annoying everyone else but the farter Angry