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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
Bekstar · 02/02/2020 19:27

I love shopping but my DH is the driver, he also has no concept of money or shopping due to cognitive issues and he is partially deaf. I'm in a wheelchair and My DS7 always comes shopping with me. My DH is my carer, But to be honest my DS is more help shopping than his dad is. So I will always prefer taking him. You don't know people's situations and frankly kids should be learning how to shop and behave in public, if we only want one or two things my DS is able to go to the shop in our street but is also able to get out the car and run into our local supermarket on his own to get what we need if it's only a small shop, rather than unload my electric wheelchair. He can only do that due to him coming with me on a regular basis and seeing me shop.

saraclara · 02/02/2020 19:31

I used to do bits of shopping in the day when my kids were young, as the supermarket's only a ten minute walk away. One of my most poignant moments was going to Tesco after I dropped my youngest at school on her first day - and I didn't have a small child's hand to hold, or a little person to chat to while I did my shopping any more. Sad

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2020 19:36

Coffee shops
Restaurants
Supermarkets

There must be more...

Weddings
Cinema
Parents night

Soft play Grin

Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 19:36

Well, quite, but that would mean the OP changing her behaviour rather than getting annoyed with everyone else for not doing things the way she does. So clearly that's not going to happen.

Please. I already explained why I'm not doing online shops. And yes, I will probably reorganise when I do my shopping, because clearly, it looks like its vitally important for dcs to have life lessons during busy shopping times when people are just trying to get in and out so they can get home to the rest of their day. 🙄

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 02/02/2020 19:36

This is why I don’t go into supermarkets at the weekends or school holidays 🤣. I enjoy shopping alone but it’s been made less pleasurable due to families shopping, crying children, people blocking the isles and those tiny trollies (Lidl). I shop online, the kids still get to chose things, we meal plan together and look through the offers online for a couple of extra treats, it’s much more relaxed. F I took them shopping with me we would end up spending much more and end up being much more stressed.

Serin · 02/02/2020 19:38

The secret is to get there very early on a Saturday morning. You get first pick of all the reduced things too.
Only professional shoppers who know what they're doing shop at 8am.
No kids, no lurkers, no one dithering at the checkout.
Its speed shopping.
Wear trainers. Grin

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/02/2020 19:38

I don't think families shopping together are the problem.

It's the people who go through life tutting and scowling at the most minor inconveniences.

Children in a supermarket is really not a big deal.

BecauseReasons · 02/02/2020 19:39

And yes, I will probably reorganise when I do my shopping, because clearly, it looks like its vitally important for dcs to have life lessons during busy shopping times when people are just trying to get in and out so they can get home to the rest of their day

Totally, OP. Let's just keep kids at home. It'd be madness to let them out into the real world to do day-to-day activities with actual adults who are trying to get things done. The impudence of some people!

Bearfamily1010 · 02/02/2020 19:40

I enjoy taking my 2 kids under 3 and they enjoy going. They also behave? I’m not sure what the issue is.

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2020 19:41

My mum or dad did all the grocery shopping when I lived at home. I never went. Somehow, I learned that food didn't just appear in the fridge, and that it did, in fact, cost money. It was never a chore I struggled with when I went off on my own, so I hardly think that leaving dcs home while I shop means that they will be at a disadvantage when they're adults!

So based on your research of one, your impeccably behaved 12 and 13 year old kids, will learn these supermarket shopping skills without actually going to the supermarket and shopping? Apart from the 'few bits' you run in for when they happen to be with you anyway?

Are you sure you're not just avoiding a teenage strop, by suggesting they come and actually help, OP?

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/02/2020 19:43

The issue appears to be having to wait an extra minute to grab some custard creams because a child is in the way.

Notnowokay · 02/02/2020 19:45

We go shopping as a family at times. Children learn a lot from shopping together. I’m teaching ds1 all about budgeting and the importance of having a shopping list. He now goes arounds the shop with me and me and him load the trolly while dh keeps ds2 busy and naming objects on the shelves. It will be his turn to fetch objects soon alongside his brother. They pick me up from work we go somewhere to eat and then do the weekly shopping on Sundays. Because we want to.

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 02/02/2020 19:46

I do kind of agree - in that I do the main shop Monday morning alone, because I can get round Lidl as soon as it's open, and get to work 10 mins late, having spent 30 minutes shopping because of the way traffic is at that time in the morning.

BUT, there are some weeks I can't do that, so I have to go shopping at the weekend, and that's some time I get to see DP (if he's been working away that week), so sometimes we all have to go together. And yes, the kids aren't great (fine individually, but together they play, which is more disruptive than being bored if I'm honest).

Sorry. But we all have lives that mean sometimes, kids are going to be in crowded shops.

ALongHardWinter · 02/02/2020 19:47

Nonnymum and MuchBetterNow
You do realise that you should never admit to being unable to drive,on Mumsnet? Medical exemptions aside,in my experience,the general opinion of the majority of MNers,is that admitting that you can't drive is akin to saying that you are a lazy,lift-scrounging good-for-nothing. Not my view,I hasten to add,I'm one of the lazy lift-scroungers. Grin

tigger1001 · 02/02/2020 19:49

Also not everyone lives close to a supermarket so maybe they go after their child's sports class etc rather than going home to drop their child off then driving back.

mrsBtheparker · 02/02/2020 19:49

Agree. The retired people doing their shop on Friday lunchtime really irritates me aswell. YOU HAVE ALL DAY TO DO IT

I do indeed have all day top do it and if I choose to do it during your Friday lunchtime, tough! If I knew where you were I think I would make a special point of it.

Despolime · 02/02/2020 19:50

YANBU. This drives me insane. I don't do a 'big shop', but do nip to the supermarket frequently. On weekends it is jam packed with kids screaming, shouting, not watching where they're going etc. It's not the kids who wind me up as much as the parents who don't tell them off.

It especially irritates me when kids bump into you because they aren't watching where they're going, and the parents smile indulgently and give you a 'what they like, eh?' look. I've stopped smiling back.

katseyes7 · 02/02/2020 19:50

l work on a supermarket checkout. On occasion l've worked until 11pm on a Saturday night, and it's not unusual to see people in doing a shop with little ones in their nightwear long after what l assume would be their bedtime.
Not always, but often, tired and fractious.
Unless there's a particular reason for this, such as availability of the driver, for example, l can't imagine this is much fun for any of them. By all means let the kids have an input into what they want to eat, but l wouldn't have thought 10pm on a Saturday evening when they should be in bed is really the best time.

comingupafterthebreak · 02/02/2020 19:54

I don't mind if there are loads of kids in the supermarket.
I do mind:

Kids chasing one another about at high speed, playing Hide & Seek round the aisles.
Heelys and scooters.
Clumps of teens standing around and getting in the way as only teenagers can.
The banshee shrieking of a 2-year-old who isn't getting their own way.

PattiPrice · 02/02/2020 19:54

When we are on the way back from somewhere and we need to run into Tesco, either DH or I run in, and the other stays in the car with the children. It saves a lot of time. Try it!

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 02/02/2020 19:55

My mum or dad did all the grocery shopping when I lived at home. I never went.

We got left in the car at the bottom of tescos carpark. People tend to frown on that these days.

It especially irritates me when kids bump into you because they aren't watching where they're going

I know the feeling. The number of people who whacked their bags/baskets/trollies into my kids because they were too busy looking at the shelves/theirphone/shopping list rather than where they were actually going makes me quite cross. My kids walk into people too - but they are a lot smaller, so do a lot less damage, and are told to apologise, unlike the oblivious adults.

Catinheat · 02/02/2020 19:56

Reasons why we do it:
1.Because I can
2.we are nearly always on our way to or from one the many activities and things we need to do at the weekend so we're altogether.
3.i like that they have an input into what they eat.

Dragonembroidery · 02/02/2020 19:56

Especially true of Asda. Lots of families seem to see it as day out.
I suppose it is a bit though and kids shouldn't always be made to stay at home.
V english attitude: "No children allowed on public places!!"
Especially re clothes aisles and seasonal aisles and just seeing the world I suppose. Time away from screens and four walls of home.
Not all locations have parks that are worth visiting and not everyone has money for middle class array of weekend activities. "Hugo goes to soccer then guitar then ty chi etc."

Whathappenedtothelego · 02/02/2020 19:59

Not everyone has a car.
We used to often go as a family when DC were smaller, meant we could carry more, otherwise someone would have had to go every single day.
When you're limited to what one person can carry, you have to ignore all the buy one get one free, and get worse value stuff because it's smaller etc. We saved loads of money by going to a big supermarket as a family.

PattiPrice · 02/02/2020 19:59

Lots of families seem to see it as day out.
I suppose it is a bit though and kids shouldn't always be made to stay at home

It isn’t a day out though. It is as mundane as emptying the dishwasher or folding clothes.
My kids moan all the time if I have to nip into the supermarket for something when they are with me. It really isn’t a day out!