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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 02/02/2020 16:43

Someone on a thread marvelled at the transport website having a section on 'how to catch a bus'.

This attitude is why we now have to teach children life skills in schools.

It's OK for children to learn that every activity isn't fun. Life can be a bit crap, but you've got to get on with it. Boys in particular, because many men think shopping has nothing to do with them.

Everyone should learn what it takes to run a house and we can't be entertained all of the time.

MysweetAudrina · 02/02/2020 16:43

Can't say I have ever noticed who does or doesn't do someone elses shopping. I never shop with dh but do like to bring one of the kids with me as I am sick of buying lunches that they are last week but hate now. I work all week so also a good chance for one on one time in the car and I have someone to out the trolley back.

happysunr1se · 02/02/2020 16:44

I enjoy going to the supermarket. I like looking at all the different choices and thinking about what I want to cook and eat.

Today I went to a large supermarket with my husband and 5 year old daughter who sat in the trolley seat.

We didn't get in anyone's way, we were back home in 40 minutes and we all had a nice time.
Why would anyone have a problem with that?!

RedPanda2 · 02/02/2020 16:45

Agree. The retired people doing their shop on Friday lunchtime really irritates me aswell. YOU HAVE ALL DAY TO DO IT

JayAlfredPrufrock · 02/02/2020 16:45

Pisses me off when the children are picking up fruit or random packets, giving them a good lick then putting them back.

And sitting in trolleys with their dirty shoes.

justkeeprunning5 · 02/02/2020 16:46

Thinking back to my childhood we all used to go to the local high street on a Saturday morning - Dad used to take me and my brother swimming whilst mum did the shop and then we all met for a cheap breakfast (in the BHS cafe 😆). Looking back I suppose it was a bit mean on my mum to do the shop alone but at least we were not bothering her and we got a family breakfast out of it.

I now do 90% of my shopping online - just go to the CoOp for a few top up items on my way home.

Entire family outing to Tesco seems so strange to me - and isn’t it likely to end up with the children wanting more stuff and arguing about it (junk food / toys etc?!)

OhTheRoses · 02/02/2020 16:46

I don't understand why people want to do it but understamd why they may have to.

What I don't understand is why the children have to scoot in there. I'm quite sure the manager would have intervened when mine were small.

Ponoka7 · 02/02/2020 16:48

"i don’t drive so dh always had to come to drive home with all the groceries"

I used tag along with my DH and then DP. I never know what cake etc I fancy until I'm stood in front of them.

I love to be an organised shopper like so many on here, but I like to see what's on offer etc. I like kettle crisps but on buy them when they're down to £1, again I don't know what I fancy until I see them.

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2020 16:48

Agree. The retired people doing their shop on Friday lunchtime really irritates me aswell. YOU HAVE ALL DAY TO DO IT

How the fuck do you know they have all day to do it? Confused

That's a ridiculous assumption.

I know many retired people who are busier now than when they were working.

Branster · 02/02/2020 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PotholeParadise · 02/02/2020 16:48

Ah, MN, where people brag about having a 12 year old boy who has never been in a supermarket, because it was boring for them. Grin

I was doing about half the family shopping on my own at 13. This was possible because I had been taken shopping my whole life before that, because I was brought up by a single parent.

At 18 I left home and acquired flatmates who had no fucking clue how to budget, never mind choose ripe but unbruised apples in the supermarket. They I acquired a boyfriend who was also fucking useless and had zero sense of where he might find anything in the supermarket if it was more niche than toilet tissue. All in all, they never seemed to have been taken shopping as children, because they whined too much.

Now I have children, I go alone or take my kids shopping, according to which is more convenient for me at the time. But I'll tell you this, I don't like shopping. I still have to do it, and I don't see what's so glorious about shielding children from a basic chore of modern life.

JosefKeller · 02/02/2020 16:48

can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go?
because they want to?
because one of them can't drive?
because it's quicker to stop and grab whatever you need than driving half the family back home, and go back to the supermarket.

because when you teach your child to cook, you teach them to pick up what they need from the shop... Kids start baking cakes from reception or earlier, so old enough to shop with you.

So many reasons. Go shopping in the middle of the night, it's quiet. Many supermarkets are open 24/6 (not Sunday nights)

St0pTryingT0MakeFetchHappen · 02/02/2020 16:49

I quite enjoy food shopping with my kids and husband. Finishing with a coffee in the coffee shop. (Ducks for cover).

bridgetreilly · 02/02/2020 16:49

I agree, OP. I have never understood why anyone would choose to do this. I get that sometimes circumstances make it unavoidable, but I also know families who actively choose to make shopping a family activity, rather than one parent taking the children to do something else/staying at home. I find that quite bizarre.

rededucator · 02/02/2020 16:49

MuchBetterNow why didn't you stay at home with your kids and your husband go shopping?

dementedma · 02/02/2020 16:49

The thing that pisses me off is supermarkets with the oh so cute little trollies for toddlers to push around to do “their” shopping. Such fun as they get in everyone’s way, crash into ankles, zigzag about the aisles while doting parents look on fondly. FFS, they can play at shopping at playgroup and nursery!!

Lunafortheloveogod · 02/02/2020 16:50

Kids need to learn.. simple, if you don’t take them places they need to sit still and be quiet or walk nicely they never will.

We were all once snotty pains in the arse to someone.

Different if the child’s physically damaging stock etc, but then having two parents there means the offending child can be taken outside to wait.

We do most of ours online now, but that’s so we don’t need to carry shopping 2 miles up a hill every week.. dp can unfortunately only carry so much at once.

Branster · 02/02/2020 16:50

As for kids licking items and putting them back on shelves, you do realise most of the stuff was picked up by people who went to the toilet and didn’t wash their hands before picking raspberries etc.

tigger1001 · 02/02/2020 16:50

I do think yabu. Everyone does things differently and while it's not a fun activity it's an essential one and if a family want to all go then that's up to them.

I actually think it's important for kids to realise not every activity is a fun one and there are things, that might not be fun, but need to be done. For me, that gets even more important as they get older. It's how they learn the cost of stuff, and how to plan meals etc. They need to learn food doesn't magically appear in the cupboard.

It was a normal thing to do when I was growing up

TwoZeroTwoZero · 02/02/2020 16:50

Entire family outing to Tesco seems so strange to me - and isn’t it likely to end up with the children wanting more stuff and arguing about it (junk food / toys etc?!)

Not if you clearly state before going in that you're going for X,Y and Z only and that there won't be enough money for toys and sweets etc.

lowlandLucky · 02/02/2020 16:51

OPI cant drive(medical), i had 3 children under 5, lived on R.A.F camps that were in the middle of nowhere and had a Husband that would have come home with crap if he went to the supermarket on his on. What should i have done ?

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 02/02/2020 16:51

I drive, DH doesn't. I would happily go by myself or shop online but DH needs to see the food on the shelf to know what he wants.

So DD (5yrs old) gets lugged up into the seat of the trolley and given BBC I player while I yawn round the store and DH excitedly exclaims over the new products.

Ponoka7 · 02/02/2020 16:51

@RedPanda2, how do you know this? It's retired people that are keeping voluntary services going and doing childcare etc.

Branster · 02/02/2020 16:51

And warehouses are probably crawling with rats peeing on the tins of tomatoes and bottled water.

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2020 16:52

I’m more annoyed with slow pensioners at busy times, I’d ban them off the roads, car parks and busy supermarkets between 5PM-8PM weekdays and Saturday and Sunday AM.

Are you serious Branster or was that just a hilariously ageist joke?