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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 02/02/2020 17:14

We mainly shop online, but if we’re in the supermarket for a big shop it’s around once a month, and we will usually do it after doing other things together.

And damn right, I want my kids to learn what things cost, what goes into their meals and making the house nice, to contribute to chores, and how to behave well. That sometimes yes, they need to choose between a magazine or smoked salmon (DS2 is odd) as their treat, because neither is particularly cheap.

One holds the scanner, one fetches from the shelves. No one strays from the trolley. No scooters or running. They love the fish and meat counter and have a good idea of what cuts come from different animals and different parts of the animal. Once a month on a Saturday afternoon to make sure my kids grow up with basic skills? I’m pretty comfortable with that.

sparklefarts · 02/02/2020 17:15

I'm still trying to get my head around someone suggesting that families shopping together is a poor people day out.

This thread is so fucked up.

JassyRadlett · 02/02/2020 17:15

Seriously, kids are now spending their pre-school years in nursery rather than out in the community, and now people are saying they shouldn't be out shopping? When are they supposed to learn what llife is about and how to behave in different settings and around strangers?

To be fair our nursery often takes small groups to the supermarket to buy food to go into the lunch. Which I think is lovely.

SinkGirl · 02/02/2020 17:15

How are kids supposed to learn how to behave in public and do things like food shops when they never get taken? We’ve only taken our twins into a supermarket a couple of times because it’s a blooming nightmare but when they understand more I will definitely take them. They need to be familiar with these environments so they don’t grow up to be the sort of husbands who expect their wives to do all the food shopping and cooking!

karencantobe · 02/02/2020 17:15

Also I do think kids learn from going shopping. I remember when children's homes used to have cooks and it was found when kids left they had no idea how to make good choices for food shopping as they had never done it. Of course they don't have to o every time, but I think if a child has never been food shopping they are missing out on learning some basic skills.

PotholeParadise · 02/02/2020 17:16

I'm trying to imagine the little darlings whose parents are protecting them from the big bad supermarkets, as teenagers/young adults.

I expect they'll be the ones wandering around with their phones...Facetiming their parents or wives and husbands, because they don't have a clue about grocery shopping.

That's them.

This is where all the "my DH spends more if he does the shopping alone, because he can't adjust on the fly to offers" comes from. All these people who either ignore the list and come back with crisps, or have too little initiative and so don't dare swap brands for the cheaper one of the week.

GreenTulips · 02/02/2020 17:16

Many couples work different hours all week and want to spend time together of a weekend, so do their chores together therefore having to bring the kids along

One could go in the week.

Then they could do fun activities instead.

NYCDreaming · 02/02/2020 17:16

There are all sorts of annoying people in the supermarkets though. Why stop at the toddlers? There are people with BO, people who park their trolley across the whole banana section, shoplifters, people who are too loud, people who don't appear to know how shopping works in front of you at the checkout - should we ban all of them too?

Or shall we just accept that although it would be better if the supermarket was entirely empty when we wanted to use it, we live in communities and part of living in a community is being tolerant and trying to be easygoing.

Families will be there for all sorts of reasons. Personally we all go because it's a bit of a miserable task and we enjoy each others' company so it's nicer to all go. Just try to live and let live!

Longdistance · 02/02/2020 17:16

No need to drag the kids along. My dds are still bored of shopping and they’re 8 and 10. I’ve had dh drop me off before and he’s taken dds to the library/park and then come back and picked me up.
I’m sure if you’re a single parent this could be hard, but when there’s another adult, keep the kids out, they’ll probably only chuck in loads of things you don’t need, hence why I’ve barred my dh coming too 🤷🏼‍♀️

Jiggeriepokerie · 02/02/2020 17:16

I took my kids and husband supermarket shopping when they were younger because, when we only got to see him for 6 weeks a year he spent every minute he could with us. For the other 48 weeks I had nobody to babysit and, more importantly, they were company for me.

Next time you go shopping and get an 'ooh, this'll be a fabulous rant on MN' moment, try to consider for a second that some people's lives are very far removed from your own.

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 02/02/2020 17:18

@Shadyshadow you forget the groups of teenagers who have no concept of time and dawdle and either taking up space everywhere and continuously getting in the way when you're in a hurry.

Many aspects is supermarkets are irritating.

Thank god for online shopping!

JassyRadlett · 02/02/2020 17:18

No need to drag the kids along. My dds are still bored of shopping and they’re 8 and 10. I’ve had dh drop me off before and he’s taken dds to the library/park and then come back and picked me up.

I’m 42 and I find it thoroughly boring.

However it’s necessary. Learning that sometimes we have to do boring things is quite useful for kids.

Glittertwins · 02/02/2020 17:20

How else will they learn to recognise what you want, work out pricing and get the right stuff? I We've had a weekly delivery from before I had the DTs but I guess I could be selective on when we went shopping together. But they need to learn - fast forward a few years and DS has come back with great offers on the cat food that was needed as he charmed the person giving away freebies - I was in the next aisle and he was off getting stuff he knew we needed. Gets miles easier when they can be despatched to different aisles as we can be out in far less time.

woodhill · 02/02/2020 17:20

@dementedma

Those beeping mini trolleys, totally agree

dustycaramel · 02/02/2020 17:22

I’m so surprised by this. We go as a family but I’ve never noticed other families, would never occur to me to be annoyed.

My husband drives, I don’t. He gets everything during the week and can’t face doing shop on his own again at the weekend, so I go to make it quick / easy, two sets of hands etc. We also like to look at joints together and decide there and then which roast. As well as choosing things we both want.

Also we go on the way back from something, always, park or something.

I agree that children need to learn that not everything is fun, and that food just doesn’t arrive on their table.

The comments about older people are astoundingly rude.

PleaseSirMyGoat · 02/02/2020 17:22

I like going as DP forgets things and doesn't check dates sometimes. Plus I look for offers and will deviate from the list if appropriate. I don't drive so if I want to go the toddler comes too. It's hardly a big deal Hmm

He went on his own today and didn't get courgettes as he decided we didn't need them despite me putting them on the list Confused

alliejay81 · 02/02/2020 17:23

We all walked to the supermarket this afternoon. Blush. Mainly for the fresh air but checked off an errand at the same time.

Going to be honest I'm of the live and let love school of thought on this one!

KennyRogersWasNotInStarWars · 02/02/2020 17:23

@NYCDreaming that’s what I was thinking - everyone in the supermarket is either annoying to me or invisible to me, it’s not limited to families or children! Grin

Thegreymethod · 02/02/2020 17:23

One of these threads again...... maybe because they want to and none of your business. I do tend to go shopping when the children are at school but now and again we all go, maybe we've been somewhere and are nipping into the supermarket on the way home, maybe we're going for a picnic and the children want to help choose what we get. Before I passed my driving test we all used to go because I wanted to chose what food to buy seeing as I'd be the one doing the cooking, yes I could have written a list but I like to pick as I go.

MrsDoylesTeaBags · 02/02/2020 17:24

I love these threads for bringing out the batshit in MN Grin
I find the family food shop outing irritating as hell but then I tend to avoid weekend foodshopping like the plague. TBH I find the gormless DHs and oblivious teens getting in your way more irritating than little kids doing what little kids do.

Igglepigglesgrubbyblanket · 02/02/2020 17:25

Also, I really don't understand the MN thing where people have to make sure their children don't ever take up any space or ever 'get in the way' or make noise anywhere. We are all people, we all have to rub along together. Babies cry, toddlers tantrum, little kids have a laugh and a giggle together, so do adults! Some of us are slow, some of us are loud, some lack the spacial awareness that others have. Yes, you teach them to be kind and polite and behave safely. You also teach them that they should care for others and part of that is being aware that not everyone has the same abilities that you do so to be tolerant.
This idea that the world should never be exposed to the horror of your completely normal children is just abhorrent.

Ohyesiam · 02/02/2020 17:25

Personally I prefer my kids have an opportunity to offer input into the grocery shop.

I do this when I write the list. I ask for any meal or treat requests. Much easier than having to meal plan myselfSmile

MiniGuinness · 02/02/2020 17:26

Where are your kids? Why can’t you go in the week?

zonkin · 02/02/2020 17:26

Kids need to learn to budget and shop.

FFS, just shop online or shop at local shops if it's such and irritation.

Formermousemat · 02/02/2020 17:26

I have to be honest, this does get on my wick as well at times.

I find that typically the children I see usually have pretty good situational awareness and will be mindful of other shoppers - unless they are very young.

It's the grown ups that get on my nerves, particularly if they dawdle about two abreast for no reason.

Mind you, I do sometimes see families quite late at night in the supermarket screaming at their kids because they are not behaving - which I find unfair considering the children are exhausted. It's different with very young ones who might be able to sleep, but it does seem unfair to drag a 5 year old round at 9pm and expect them to behave.