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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
Wellhellooothere · 03/02/2020 17:58

On the way home from somewhere and stopped off on the way??

bumptobean · 03/02/2020 17:58

This sounds incredibly ridiculous but.. sometimes if it’s been a hard week I’ll go shopping with DH I’m a Saturday and my little boy just to get out the house and breathe a bit rather than cooping indoor on a Saturday morning!

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 03/02/2020 17:58

YABU - every family and their situations are different. DH, DC and I go together. I drive, DH doesn't. DH likes to come along shopping as we get done faster I'd just walk up and down aisles for hours if I was on my own . I don't particularly like shopping but needs must.

okiedokieme · 03/02/2020 17:59

Not everyone drives, perhaps the principal cook has epilepsy? Yabu

tedtalkstome · 03/02/2020 18:01

Why doesn’t your husband shop?!

girlicorne · 03/02/2020 18:01

I don’t get this either I go after work on a Monday usually as I don’t want good shopping to infringe on my weekend when there’s far more fun family things we can be doing. It’s quiet in the evening too. In my experience do input into the shopping seems to involve filling the trolley up with overpriced junk! I do ask if anyone has any requests though but it certainly does not need to be a family outing when there are so many more important things to do with the DC with my precious two days off!!

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 03/02/2020 18:02

I agree with you OP. If the DC are enjoying shopping and are under control, fine, but a lot of them aren’t.

Even if one parent doesn’t drive, couldn’t the driver drop the shopper at the supermarket, take the DC somewhere to play, and collect shopper and shopping later?

okiedokieme · 03/02/2020 18:02

We always shopped together, I was the non driver, h didn't know a carrot from a parsnip (I'm not kidding he messed up on the few occasions I sent him with a list including this crazy mistake). Online shopping wasn't a thing then

woodhill · 03/02/2020 18:03

When mine were little there used to be a crèche at a big branch of Tesco in the late 90s which was helpful.

I get more frustrated with ditherers who take ages to pick loose vegetables etc.

FelicisNox · 03/02/2020 18:03

I'm absolutely crying at all the "surely your husband can go shopping alone" comments.

Since when has ANY man anywhere EVER been able to do a full weeks (or even a days) shopping alone? WHEN?

No, I'm sorry but any woman who says otherwise is a liar or can't cook and have found the holy grail of what amounts to maybe 5 men in the whole of the British Isles who can actually be trusted to carry out this task alone.

They don't cook all week so how do they know what to buy because they sure as shit pay zero attention to what's in your cupboard or fridge and they definitely won't remember washing powder/foil/toilet cleaner/dishwasher tabs/paracetamol/jars of minced ginger and all of the other million and one things that women just know they need..... yes you could write a list but it would take you all week to write it and they would STILL get it wrong, particularly if you shop anywhere but Aldi (that offer one choice of everything) and if you were to add brands in to the mix.... forget it.

Get your husband to do it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

PhantomErik · 03/02/2020 18:06

I think kids should go to supermarkets so they learn about shopping, making choices, looking at offers & yes having an input!

What's so bad about children making choices?

To make shopping more enjoyable my DC are allowed to choose a type of fruit each & a type of biscuits each! All to share with the family of course & if that annoys someone tough luck!

Darkrainbowsquid · 03/02/2020 18:06

I thought it was only me who thought like that. I have 4 boys and when I go shopping, I may take one of the. With me, but most of the time I leave them at home with my husband if it’s a weekend. I can’t think of anything worse and tbh after working all week .... the last thing I want is to bring the boys food shopping..... I love going on my own for peace... I just can’t even think straight when more than 1 comes to the shops with me!

Notsureabouthis · 03/02/2020 18:11

@FelicisNox how depressing! Of course men can do the food shop. Your post is ridiculous and insulting to a lot of men. My husband cooks and shops. I tend to do the food shop because I work one less day than him.

PattiPrice · 03/02/2020 18:11

Since when has ANY man anywhere EVER been able to do a full weeks (or even a days) shopping alone? WHEN?

Is it 1950?

DH does half the shipping and more than half the cooking in this house.

I know some people whose partners don’t, buy that is mainly because their wives insist on doing it themselves or criticise their partners don’t do exactly what she would do. If I was them, I wouldn’t be arsed either.

If your partner doesn’t do much shopping or cooking, I think you may need to take a look at your own behaviour. You may just find yourself in the minority with your old fashioned maternal ways.

Notsureabouthis · 03/02/2020 18:13

Ps we have a shared online app as a shopping list that we both update as we go. This means that either one of us does the shop.

Justasecondnow · 03/02/2020 18:14

We normally do our shopping online, but sometimes we end up fitting shopping in after whatever we’ve been up to as a family. And no one wants to sit in the car 20 mins/ drive back and forth to drop kids off and come back etc.

Kids are people. Kids can tag along with the weekly shop if it suits parents. Would it suit you better if they didn’t. Maybe, but basically the world does not revolve around you - I think YABU.

LoveIslandVirgin · 03/02/2020 18:14

How else will kids learn social skills unless they’re exposed to the tedious parts of life like grocery shopping?

It’s boring but maybe they’re grouchy because all they see around them are grouchy entitled adults who believe children should only be wheeled out for fun activities.

It’s parents who allow their children to run around the aisles chasing each other that I resent. I’ve had countless trolleys pushed into my back because I’ve had to put the brakes on to avoid a chase.

Give them a shopping list (pictorial if they can’t yet read) to relieve the boredom.

My kids love shopping - and they’re sullen teenagers now!

wooda180 · 03/02/2020 18:14

Me and my husband always take our 3 kids shopping, they "help" with fetching things from the list, they have a say as to some of the things we buy and they've even started to compare prices and nutrition between their choices. It may seem unnecessary and even silly to some but it's a life lesson, we have a budget and think it's good to not just teach them but to show them.

Would also like to add that both me and my husband actually enjoy doing the food shop so we both want to go which means taking the kids (and also my brother in law as he doesn't drive so it helps him to come with us)

busybarbara · 03/02/2020 18:17

Children need to learn there are chores to be done both in and out of the house. If they don’t know where the shopping comes from or how to choose and buy it, you have no room to complain when they become lazy self entitled teenagers

MrsBadcrumble123 · 03/02/2020 18:18

Totally! It does my head in when I see both parents out with the kids! I mean the grocery shop is my escape from my kids for two hours I certainly do not want to be around anyone else’s!! The screaming toddler following you up and down each isle is the worst - and if you’re a single parent then do an online grocery shop FFS!! Xmas Grin

Littlemisschocolate · 03/02/2020 18:20

Essentially, it's none of anyone else's business how people choose to get their shopping and who they bring with them. I'm surprised by some of the unpleasantness on this towards people who don't agree with them.

wooda180 · 03/02/2020 18:20

I dont know a man that can't shop or cook so you really are obviously looking in the wrong places hun.

Blutterflies · 03/02/2020 18:23

I bring my children shopping with me and dp.
Sometimes it’s because we’ve been away and need to grab some bits on the way home.
Sometimes it’s because the kids ask to come and we say yes, let’s all bloody go then ffs.
Sometimes we do our shopping for an hour then treat the kids to tea in the cafe which they love.
Shopping is an important skill for children to see modelled, healthy choices, budgeting, compromise. Imagine getting to uni age having never done a shop!!
Sometimes to be fair, if we’ve had a lazy weekend day we go for a change of scenery.
Most of the time the kids are fine. Sometimes they’re shits.
Don’t want to see kids in shops? Go after 9pm Grin

lynney88 · 03/02/2020 18:23

See I think the problem is with children being left at home and not learning how to behave appropriately at shops because they don't experience it.

knickerbockerglory33 · 03/02/2020 18:23

I haven't RTFT so apologies if i am repeating anyone but 2 reasons why the children accompany either myself or DP (or heaven forbid both of us!) when shopping:

  1. I work full time and have a long commute, DP does school pick up. I was doing the way home and sometimes being too late to supermarket (shuts at 8pm). DP very kindly offered to do the shop after the school run to take the pressure off me.
  1. Sometimes we do the shop at the weekend on the way home from a family outing as we are very rural and not inundated with large supermarkets nearby!

Note also - as we are rural, online shopping is not an option!

So in short YABU, everyone has different reasons/choices.