To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

[Sweetbabycheezits]

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

If you don't have the money or time to go out as a family how do you have the time and money to go shopping? Unless of course you just walk out with an empty trolley.

Sometimes I do my food shop on my own while DH stays at home with DD. That’s on days when I can be bothered to go after a full day at work or once DH gets home when I’ve had DD all day.

Sometimes DH goes after work, if we need something that day, although he is usually on a strict time limit for picking up DD from nursery.

Sometimes I take DD on my own, because it’s my day off work, we don’t have anything planned, and I need to do a shop.

Sometimes, at the weekend, all three of us go, because it fits in with our plans for the day. We are out and about and as our nearest supermarket is 20 minutes away we kill two birds with one stone and go while we are nearby. I could leave DD in the car with DH (or vice versa) but leaving her cooped up in a car seat while I do a big shop seems unfair. She enjoys shopping. She’s gone since she was tiny. She stays in the trolley (she’s 2), I get her to look for certain items to keep her occupied. She doesn’t whine for things as she knows she can’t have everything, having been taken shopping plenty and having been taught how to behave. Yes, sometimes it may be boring for her, but so is cleaning her teeth, getting dressed, me having to cook dinner instead of building a den for her. I don’t believe children should always be sheltered from things that might not be fun for them. Also, DH likes to have a say in what we buy. And it’s far easier having two people to unload the trolley and pack the bags for a huge shop, believe me you’ll wait far longer behind me at the checkout when I do my big shop alone than when all 3 of us are there and DH is packing while I’m still unloading.

I don’t shop online - I prefer to select my own fruit and veg, have had bad experiences with dates and unsuitable substitutions, plus my street is an absolute nightmare for delivery drivers with nowhere to pull in.

In short OP, YABU. We do what suits us as a family (and it’s not because we are ‘poor’ and have nothing better to do ). Yes children shouldn’t be racing round (scooters in supermarkets are ridiculous) but if a family wants to go together then thats up to them. I genuinely do not care whether you understand why we do things the way we do. You have no idea of the circumstances of the rest of another families day / week. Get on with your own shopping in your way and let us do ours in ours.

I assume they have to spend what money they have on essential things like food rather than days out, Rosebel.

We always go by ourselves. If we took our 3 (my DS and 2 step-kids), all we’d get is ‘i’m Bored’, ‘when are we going?’ ‘He’s hitting me’ ‘can I have this....why not??’

So stressful 🤥😬🤯

We used to shop together with our son. We lived in an apartment so would go out for daytrips and then shop on the way home. It was convenient for us. Since we moved we don't go out as much and now do it separately.

Normally one of us does it but we've had weeks where during that time, we'll be having a special dinner, guests or some other celebration where we both need to be there as it's easier to discuss the options than 1 go and keep calling.

As such children have to come along. We can't leave them home alone and I'm not getting someone to babysit for that!

If we are out as a family on a weekend and then decide we need to pick up some groceries, the last thing I am going to worry about is what strangers think.

Anyone who objects to other people being in a public space is being unreasonable.

YANBU - I find this VVVVV annoying!!

Meh who cares?! (Well evidently a lot of you ) I bring my 2 and 3 year olds shopping with me. Sometimes DH comes but mostly he doesn't. I could do it online but I prefer to go in and pick fresher produce. My kids enjoy it, it's never really any hassle?

Mostly they sit side by side in a double seat trolley but sometimes the three year old wants to walk to find and take the items off the shelf. They also load the conveyer belt/put things through the self service and pay the shop assistant/machine. It's all a learning experience IMO and builds confidence and social skills... It seems a lot of people think children should be hidden away from view until they reach 18 and yet expect them to emerge as fully functioning adults.

YABU OP!

No problem with anyone taking their dc shopping as long as they keep them under control and don't nearly knock over a frail 83year old while they whinge, slap and wrestle each other on and off the floor and you ignore them.

If you had your 3 dc in Tesco's today, age 8-15ish (oldest boy with bright blue hair) - leave them at home next time 🙄

I think you’re getting a bit worked up over something that really doesn’t affect you!

There could be a million reasons -

Kids need new school uniform (often bought at supermarket) so take kids to try on

Kids have pocket money and want to buy a toy/Lego that’s at the supermarket

Kids are super fussy so they are going to the supermarket to choose something new to try

Family are on the way home from somewhere else so doing shopping ok the way

Both parents want to go food shopping for whatever reason

Parents want kids to learn the effort that goes into cooking the family meals.

Who really cares why people choose to do what they do?
Kids only learn how to behave in certain situations but actually being exposed to certain situations!

My mum was a single parent, so had no choice, but she used the food shop to teach us some simple life skills:
Don't spend more than you have (she'd have us adding up the prices as we went round), compare the prices per 100g to get the best deal, and to send her kids through the crowd at the reduced to clear section to rummage
Possible the driving parent took the kids to pick up non-driving parent from work/station and they had to stop off at the supermarket on way home?

@zonkin are you suggesting people carry home their weekly shop on public transport?

Maybe they were on their way home from an outing? Sometimes we will go out for the morning and then do a shop on the way home...rather than go home and then back out again.

I mostly do online shopping but sometimes it's just as convenient to go if you're already out.

If you think annoying children are the province of the poor you haven’t spent much time among the wealthy.

I live in a naice bit of London (zone 2) and I do a combination of ocado, waitrose, and occasionally Whole Foods, plus a few independent specialty shops. The only Sains/Tesco near me are tiny, plus we like nice food and it is within our budget. I’m sharing this to make it clear that I I don’t have an agenda when I say that @ShesGotBetteDavisEyes is a miserable, clueless bigot who absolutely does NOT represent the people I know. Her attitude is not a class thing, just an ignorance thing. If any of my friends ever said anything like her comments they would quickly find their dinner party and weekend invites dry up. Even the comment about the Ocado shop is beyond tone deaf. I have to assume the person behind the Bette Davis username is either not the neighborhoods she claims to be from or else just completely embarrassing and cringeworthy to everyone.

FWIW some of the most spoilt children and the most indulgent parenting/nannying I’ve ever seen have been in expensive supermarkets.

This thread is about whole family outing. Spoilt kids or otherwise isn’t the point.

It’s treating shopping like a day out.

I'm always surprised when people don't get their groceries delivered tbh - unless you shop at places that don't deliver.

Because not everyone has a budget of £40 plus delivery charge

If it can be helped, I don't understand why you would take a child shopping - not food shopping, anyway.

My friends have two children, and they always cause absolute mayhem when food shopping, running round, picking things up and putting them in other people's trolleys (they think it's funny), screaming and shouting .. yet there's no need for it! Both parents go shopping, and surely one of them could just go, or take it in turns. It spoils every Saturday for them, as nobody's talking to anyone else by the time they get home!

YABU, I don't do a 'big' shop, I mostly pick up stuff daily from a mixture of Waitrose and Sainsburys after I have picked DD up from school. I work until I pick her up, I don't want to shop online and wouldn't want to waste a morning doing a 'big' shop at the weekend. My eldest is generally not with me as makes his own way home and DD will moan but I'm not sure that matters, I think it's good for them to realise food doesn't magically appear in the fridge and life is sometimes about the humdrum.

I find this thread so weird! We always went as a family when I was a kid and I did with mine and ex husband when they were younger. Then had years as a single non driving mum who had to take them all. It's just a normal part of life?

24 hour super markets are there for people like you.

My ex-DH and I used to go together with our DC as we couldn't afford delivery and neither drove so we needed both of us to carry the shopping.

YANBU. Why don’t these families who insist on dragging bored, screaming kind with them just do online shopping?

@mushypeasandchipstogo

You can’t think of a single reason why a family might not use online shopping with a £40 minimum spend plus delivery charge being the norm among the supermarkets?

Not one?