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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
Mulhollandmagoo · 02/02/2020 20:01

Depends if they've been/going out before or after and just popping in.....but I like to go shopping alone as I enjoy the peace and quiet 😂

Bobsandbitz · 02/02/2020 20:01

YABU
Come on! Can't deal with busy shops? Get a food delivery....
I doubt very much it's a family outing, it could be that only one parent drives, whingey kids don't want to stay at home with their dad, they've just come back from a holiday, en route home, etc.... I don't have a problem with it.
What does annoy me though is dragging a bored bloke along clothes shopping! Sat there like mushrooms all in a row, bored, taking up seats meant for other shoppers. Grin

gluteustothemaximus · 02/02/2020 20:02

We go out as a family to shop. It's pretty exciting given doing anything else involves too much money, and we don't have the money for weekend activities

My kids are well behaved though, not screaming, and generally helping with the shop. Is that ok?

Ikea is a holiday for us Grin (are we allowed to take our kids to Ikea, or does this piss people off too?)

CSIblonde · 02/02/2020 20:04

If one of you doesn't drive but still insists on going, the driver can stay in the car with the youngest ones while you shop. That's how friend with 3 kids under 5 used to do it. For her own sanity. Then she learnt to drive.

Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 20:04

These are the "life lessons" being taught during this morning's shop:
Family of 4 with 2 boys. They were fighting over who gets to push the trolley, and crashed into me. Then into someone else. Parents said nothing, so not really the kids fault.
Toddler who screamed and wailed at top volume all the way around the shop. Not a problem, kids cry, but NEITHER of the TWO adults with her thought to take the poor kid outside for a minute.
Family of 5, the three kids were young teens. Standing with their adults having a good old laugh in front of the cheese section, where several of us were trying to get to. They were completely oblivious to the folks around them.
And no, my children are certainly not impeccably behaved. I know they wouldn't mind coming shopping with me, but I don't want them to because of everything I stated above...i don't want to inconvenience other people who are busy. They both cook, share cleaning tasks, do laundry, and budget their pocket money... I'm fairly certain food shopping is not going to mystify them as adults.
Children are not the problem at all, of course they belong in public places, of course we need to teach them basic skills, and of course not everyone is able to avoid taking the whole family shopping.
I'm just having a rant, honest. The above examples seem to be the norm where I am, and seem to happen no matter when I'm there. So, I'm taking a PP's advice, and going in my trainers at opening time😁, or in the hour before closing!

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 02/02/2020 20:05

I prefer going alone but the kids enjoy it when they do come along. One pushes the trolley and the other throws stuff in. They're pretty easily entertained.

mrsBtheparker · 02/02/2020 20:06

How do you expect children to learn about the reality of family life if they aren't involved ?

I don't recall ever going food shopping with my mother as a child, unless she was also getting something non-food for me, yet when I had to go shopping for myself I managed perfectly well. All these comments about involving one's children in the decision making, sounds like the UN. makes me picture families where everyone eats different meals, the end-point of their decicion making.

katseyes7 · 02/02/2020 20:11

comingupafterthebreak Exactly. l used to go to a large Asda and it was ridiculous in there.
l'd turn into an aisle with a full trolley and it would be like the Kids from Fame. Seriously. l've seen mothers glued to their phones or deep in conversation with their friends while their children danced, pirouetted, and actually cartwheeled up and down the aisles. These weren't little ones, either. Almost invariably girls aged about 8-12. And the mothers didn't bat an eyelid.
l've also seen (usually) boys careering around on scooters with no parents in sight. All it takes is for them to bump into a little one, someone who is disabled, or an older person who is frail, and you have injuries on your hands.
This wasn't a one off, it happened almost every time l went in there, no matter which time or day. l gave up after a while and went elsewhere. l was waiting for hip replacement surgery and didn't want to risk it.

PanamaPattie · 02/02/2020 20:11

Children should stay home. That's what cupboards under the stairs are made for.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 02/02/2020 20:12

Shrug. I take my 3 children - DD1 5yo and twins 2yo - shopping pretty much every week and I don't really care if other people don't like it. They do not inconvenience others.

They are NOT badly behaved, probably because they have been every week of their lives since babyhood. DD 1 walks near the trolley and helps DH put things in. The twins are in the trolley seat or on reins and holding a parent's hand. They are not allowed to touch anything on the shelves and actually, they mostly don't try to because they know that if they muck about, they will be picked up right away. They do not shriek because they have their dummies in and they are pretty interested in what's going on anyhow. Also we take them in the morning when they are not cranky yet. They do not mither for sweets etc because we don't feed them that kind of thing.

They do learn a lot from shopping, such as how to behave in a civilised manner in a busy, stimulating setting.

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2020 20:14

Ohhhh so your 12 and 13 year olds don't go with you to the supermarket, purely because although they're very well behaved, you don't want to inconvenience other people by having them there? Grin

Yeah ok then OP....

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2020 20:15

Children should stay home. That's what cupboards under the stairs are made for.

Yes, I was just saying this to my two kids - Dyson and Ironing-Board Grin

jakeyboy1 · 02/02/2020 20:16

Probably the same people who all go to A&E for a day trip. Why anyone would waste their weekend traipsing around a supermarket is beyond me. Online all the way!

Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 20:19

Whatever, Worra🙄

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 02/02/2020 20:20

And your DH wasn’t capable of doing the shopping alone because...?

And all the other stupid comments like this.. is it really so difficult to understand that OP may actually want to choose some shopping as does her DH. When my kids were younger they were always with us in the supermarket because we would often stop on the way back from an outing somewhere. Now I do the main shop but DH and I often go together becayse shock horror we are both adults who like to see and choose our own food at times. Hmm

Rosebel · 02/02/2020 20:20

It used to drive me mad as a shopper. Now I work in a,supermarket it's even more annoying. Yesterday came home with a,splitting headache from the amount of screaming children in there.
Until you have tried to push a huge home shopping trolley round with children darting in front of you while you have targets to meet you can't understand how annoying it is.
Never took my children shopping either me or my husband did it or shopped online. It's not a quality family day out ffs.

LagunaBubbles · 02/02/2020 20:21

Why anyone would waste their weekend traipsing around a supermarket is beyond me. Online all the way!

An hour going round a supermarket after being out all day somewhere is hardly "wasting the weekend." Hmm

DonnaDarko · 02/02/2020 20:21

This is why I do online shopping. Shopping in a supermarket is not fun and it takes forever. I've got an Asda delivery pass now and I'm not looking back!

Hillwalker1 · 02/02/2020 20:27

I hate food shopping. My husband does it all and all of the cooking so knows what he wants (I go out to work, he doesn’t). But, he can’t drive so I have to drive and we take the kids. We shop in Lidl to save £ and then a few things from Tesco. We often all end up in there at the weekend. Typing this makes me realise how bonkers we are.

Gogolego · 02/02/2020 20:29

I live in a place which is popular for summer holidays. During the summer it is a nightmare because families come off the beach to get stuff for their bbqs etc. If they are camping gin in tents it is most days of their holidays because of food storage. It is even worse when The weather is bad and it's literally a family day out to the supermarket as there's nothing else to do

mindutopia · 02/02/2020 20:36

Well, we often do the shop on the way home on sat afternoon. If we drove home first it would be another 1.5 hours, home, then back, then home again. Closest shop is 30 minutes from us. I have better things to do than spend an extra 1.5 hours in the car doing the food shop on my only 2 days off.

During the week, dh works equally far from the shop and I commute by train and there are no shops in the other direction near the station either. My dc are decently behaved in the store though. Much less annoying that a lot of other people without children who block the aisles chatting. One slammed into dd with her trolley and nearly knocked her over the other day and didn’t even so much as acknowledge it.

If I lived 3 minutes from the shop (and thankfully I have a dh so it would be possible), I’d definitely leave them home and enjoy a leisurely shop. It just doesn’t work like that when you live in the middle of nowhere.

Heymacarana · 02/02/2020 20:43

Never had a problem taking ours.

Get them involved, teach them about comparing prices, teach them that you can't just always have whatever you want, talk about what you are buying and why.

Let them be bored and they will be and will never learn a useful life skill. Involve them and see them entertained and they have fun, you get to spend time with them, and they learn stuff.

Its not hard

MeadowHay · 02/02/2020 20:44

We have a toddler who is 19m and we don't own a car (DH has his licence and I have just started learning, we cant afford a car + insurance etc on top of my lessons). Food shopping is a bit tricky sometimes but we are lucky that we have a few small supermarket chains only a few mins walk away (not superstores, more like small-ish Iceland stores etc). Sometimes if we need quite a lot we will go on a weekend usually morning or afternoon with DD in her big pram purely because without a car this is the way we can carry the most stuff home. Pram has a big basket at the bottom which we can load up, then we both wear a backpack each and whoever isn't pushing the pram can also carry two further bags. This does not seem to have occurred to anyone in this thread so far!

Odoreida · 02/02/2020 20:46

Love shopping with my husband and son. If we don't have time or money for an outing together then that's what we'll do at the weekend. Of course we are all respectful of others' space in the supermarket because why wouldn't you be?

OverByYer · 02/02/2020 20:49

I’m with you OP, when mine were small I did envying my power to avoid a big supermarket shop
with the kids.
On weekends I’m often flummoxed by families doing the shopping en famille. No fun for anyone