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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
poppet31 · 02/02/2020 23:09

YANBU. Weird, I was thinking this exact same thing while at the supermarket tonight. I normally shop online but wanted to get some shoes so went in person. It was full of families and most of the kids were running riot or screaming the place down. I cannot imagine why anyone would voluntarily put themselves through that. My DH and I did a meal plan and list last night so we both had input in to what we were buying, but he stayed home with our little one, and I got a couple of hours peace!

AhhARadoxBath · 02/02/2020 23:15

I tend to go. Alone and dh waits with the dcs. I go and not him alone as, a) I spend much less, last time dh went there was £38 of cakes and crap in the trolley alone. B) I like to look at the quality of the fruit veg etc and the meat he's color Blind so often won't see if somethings looking a bit meh. Eg the last lot of green grapes he got were going brown and the Bananas were really green he thought were yellow and I needed them that day
However sometimes it's kind of easier to take the dcs and go together as sometimes it's easier to pop in on the way bk from inlaws.. Belive me it's no fun

pjmask · 02/02/2020 23:17

Op why do you have to shop on a Saturday/ Sunday? With so many 24-he supermarkets why can't you shop
In the evening/ early morning, or better still shop online? There are already far too many people in the supermarkets at weekends!

Oh wait.... I guess it's not really any of my business or concern how and when you do your shopping .....

AhhARadoxBath · 02/02/2020 23:20

Re online shopping. I tend to either forget things, items out of stock and for some reason spend more because its tesco.
Last lot I did click and collect. I filled just 3 bags for life £55!
If I go to aldi I get double that for same price and that includes nappies, wipes etc.
Now if aldi delivered.. I'd never shop again

Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 23:32

Just for the record, I'm NOT complaining about children in public places. Other than food shopping, We do all kinds of other public place kind of stuff with our kids...we travel lots, we go to the big shopping centres together, we eat out sometimes, and we've lived overseas where we had no choice but to take our dcs with us wherever we went.
It isn't child behaviour that I'm on about. It's that on a regular basis, what I am seeing is whole families together in the shop, who seem to be oblivious to everyone else, when, unless there is a reason: solo parenting, disability, one person doesn't drive, are choosing to go all together, when it isn't really a necessity. It's not something I lose sleep over... I really am an each to their own type, I just can't understand why, if you don't have to, you would add the stress of having extra people there.
Again, I used to be a huge online shopper, but at the moment, it is far cheaper for me to go do the weekly shop.
Plus, although my dcs have input on the grocery list, I also don't do separate meals for them, I make one main meal in an evening, and that's the only thing on offer. Fair enough for those people who have dc with food limitations or allergies, but not having separate meals for children and adults means that the majority of the planning comes down to me, the person who does a good deal of the cooking.
We also have an Alexa, which is where Iake my grocery list...when we run out of something, we can just tell her to add it to my list. So, my new favourite thing is that DH and DCs tend to add ridiculous items while I'm enroute, so I find things like 1000 puppies or a million quid added to our shopping list! 😁

OP posts:
Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 23:34

AhhARadoxBath I am so with you on the Aldi thing...i can only dream of them offering online delivery!

OP posts:
Tiredtiredtired100 · 02/02/2020 23:35

YABU it’s not your business to decide what is and isn’t ok as a family outing, it’s for individual families to decide. You can take kids to the most exciting places and they throw tantrums/sulk and we used to love going along to help with the food shop. Although I’m sure we were occasionally in a bad mood/arguing or in a strop I don’t think children should be banned from joining in with the food shop, not least because how else are they going to learn the value of the food on their plate?

gluteustothemaximus · 03/02/2020 08:14

Why don’t these families who insist on dragging bored, screaming kind with them just do online shopping?

Fuck me. Seriously?

What must that reason be.... oh yeah, money.

Crystal87 · 03/02/2020 08:16

We don't drive so we go together so we can carry it back, that usually means taking the kids.

Rhubarbncustard4 · 03/02/2020 08:18

I wouldn’t take my kids regularly - but I do take them in the holidays - they take turns pushing the trolley , using the smart shop zapper and finding stuff off the list .. finding the longest dates / best value brand etc ... they enjoy it - they get to chose a packet of sweets and they are learning about real life ..

Pr1mus · 03/02/2020 08:25

Maybe they don't have somebody else to watch the kids, or a hidden disability that prevents them from going alone.

I'm autistic and have severe anxiety, My partner also has anxiety and to top it off wouldn't have a bloody clue what he was doing if he had to shop alone, so we all have to go together.

Plus with busy lives it's one of the few occasions we get to go out together as a family.

I think you shouldn't be so quick to judge as you don't know people's reasons for things. It's frankly none of your business if people choose to shop as a family 😂 x

BrieAndChilli · 03/02/2020 08:26

But people don’t HAVE to do lots of things so no people don’t HAVE to take their kids to the supermarket but they choose to as funnily enough we live in a country where people have the freedom to choose to do things like that.
I do our Christmas food shop at 6am on Xmas eve. I leave the boys at home with DH but DD (11) has chosen to come with me since she was 4. I’m sure people pity her for being dragged to the supermarket at that time but she loves it and it’s always been her choice to come.

TheFuckingDogs · 03/02/2020 08:33

Sometimes I take mine - and maybe I’m weird but I actually enjoy doing a food shop, DC gets to do a normal everyday activity which shows him how the normal world works, are we now raising children who either stay indoors or do the dreaded soft play/kid friendly activities!
Mind you, I’d be stoned to death on MN as I take mine to the pub too 😳😳😳

Doggybiccys · 03/02/2020 11:09

something that really annoys me is a thing adults do - you stand in the queue for around 5 minutes then the person in front of you gets to the front.....waits until all the shopping has gone through and the checkout person says "that's £44.40 please".....cue rooting through a bag / tapping pockets to find wallet/purse/money. Did you think you were getting it for free??? why not get your card / money out during the wait? Drives me mad but I am firmly in the "hate shopping" camp.

Rosebel · 03/02/2020 11:09

It becomes other people's business when children are pushing the trolley without looking, barging in to people, running up and down the aisles and standing in the way because the whole family must discuss what onions to buy.
Obviously everyone on here has perfect children who behave all the time but believe me there are lots of children who aren't as angelic as yours.

FishCanFly · 03/02/2020 11:33

My kids love shopping

Original poster
Sweetbabycheezits · 03/02/2020 11:34

Rosebel that's precisely what I'm talking about. Kids secured in a trolley? No problem. Kids "helping" with the shop sensibly? Absolutely fine. Kids wandering aimlessly, whole families standing in the middle of the aisle, kids running riot while the two adults they're with do absolutely nothing? That's what frustrates me, and it's what seems to be the norm when I'm out shopping.

OP posts:
squeekums · 03/02/2020 11:52

When we head to aldi, we usually take dd. Me and dp have anxiety, him also ptsd, we help balance each other in the shops. Saves either of us having a breakdown or if 1 needs to run to car for a break we can and still finish shopping

and standing in the way because the whole family must discuss what onions to buy
By that logic in our local shop, the elderly should just shop online. I dont need to dart and weave through beryl and bev discussing their grandkids. The shop is for shopping, not for discussing family drama in aisle 2

AryaStarkWolf · 03/02/2020 11:53

I wouldn't fancy it myself but each to their own, you can't dictate who does and doesn't enter a Supermarket

my2bundles · 03/02/2020 12:03

Because I don't like supwrmarket shopping online. I like family shopping, it works for us so we do it. OP if u dislike it so much maybe you should shop online so you don't have to deal with what is actually a normal occurence.

thecatsthecats · 03/02/2020 12:08

Fuck me. Seriously?

What must that reason be.... oh yeah, money.

I'm not saying that this is a solution for everyone, because not everyone will have the cash, but...

My online shopping subscription costs me £36 a year. I think that will more than be repaid by:

  • bulk buy savings
  • no impulse purchases
  • no petrol costs/wear and tear on car (45p a mile, let's say a conservative 2m per week on food shop = 104m per year = £46.8)
  • access to all the deals, not just the ones in the shop I go to

I can get unlimited deliveries of over £40 Tues-Thurs.

When I have kids I will happily involve them in meal planning and food ordering, but I'll be teaching them what I do - ordering online.

thecatsthecats · 03/02/2020 12:09

@my2bundles

To be fair, I am a huge advocate of online shopping, and I don't understand why ANYONE prefers real life shopping to online.

So you are welcome to go to the shop, but I agree the OP should stay home, because annoying other shoppers aren't confined to families!

SquishyLint · 03/02/2020 12:11

I always think this. Really irritating.

my2bundles · 03/02/2020 12:13

The cats that's great if online shopping works for you. It dosent for us, we like to puck our own fruit, Veg and meathe. We also get offers in the supermarket. Bulk buying only works if you can afford to bulk buy in the first place, ithe dosent work when you function on a weekly food budget.

TinyPop14 · 03/02/2020 12:16

@MuchBetterNow what makes your husband incapable of doing the shopping and you watching DC?