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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He said his best friend’s wife was more attractive than me.

229 replies

WTAFFF · 01/02/2020 20:05

My DP said today that his best friend’s wife was better looking and more attractive than me. I didn’t ask him this question.

He can’t understand why I might find this a bit hurtful. AIBU?

OP posts:
Newbie1999 · 02/02/2020 18:36

@kingkuta But he didn’t say he fancies her, he said she’s more attractive. Two different things. There are people I know who are more attractive than my husband - doesn’t mean I fancy them.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 02/02/2020 18:42

Well done for finishing with him! This sounds like the straw that broke the camel's back, I'm very glad for you you've decided he's not for you.

kingkuta · 02/02/2020 18:44

Newbie1999 A man stood around talking about how a woman is a solid 9 out if 10 would want to fuck them should the slightest opportunity arise. I dont know anyone more attractive than my DH. If I found someone more attractive than my DH then chances are I would be with them. I certainly wouldn't be stood telling him how I thought my mates DH was more attractive than him. That's a relationship ender.

dreamingbohemian · 02/02/2020 18:49

You've made the right decision OP. It's not a stupid reason at all! The fact you think it might be just shows how much you needed to get rid of him and his awful ways.

Hope you're doing ok.

Newbie1999 · 02/02/2020 18:51

Oh of course he shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place. But to me, fancying someone is more than their physical attractiveness.

kingkuta · 02/02/2020 18:55

But finding someone attractive is far more than looks as well. He didn't just say she was prettier, he said more attractive. To me that covers everything- looks, personality, humour, intelligence etc etc. If you are attracted to someone you usually fancy them. That's how I see it anyway.

WellHolyGodMiley · 02/02/2020 20:43

Same here. Attractive is about attraction, it's everything.

It's not a stupid reason @WTAFFF

ferntwist · 02/02/2020 21:06

So glad you’ve dumped his nasty ass OP! Well done! Don’t let him back in. He’s pathetic.

Giraffey1 · 02/02/2020 21:12

Shocking that some people seem to think OP is being unreasonable!

billy1966 · 02/02/2020 21:23

Well done OP and well rid.💐

SnoozyLou · 02/02/2020 21:25

Good move OP. People who do that just do it mask their own insecurities - misery loves company. You will do better.

squeamishsquamish · 02/02/2020 21:28

Your OH ranked you out of ten?! Is he still in school? WTAF.Angry

My XH once told me his previous wife was prettier than me. I never forgot, not forgave, although it wasn't the reason we split.

squeamishsquamish · 02/02/2020 21:29

Good riddance, OP.

Russellbrandshair · 02/02/2020 21:33

He’s a twat of the highest order to say that and I’d be tempted to make a snarky comment back like “it’s ok, really! My ex had a giant dick that makes yours look like a mini cocktail sausage but I’m still with you so appearances aren’t everything are they?!”

Dump him. What kind of wanker says this out loud to his partner?!

Heymacarana · 02/02/2020 21:37

So. When he asked you if you disagreed that she was better liking than you what did you say.

Fact is, if she is, he was just stating a fact to a mate.

If you hadn’t asked him, he would have never actually told you she was better looking than you.

If he had said she wasn’t, and you both actually know she is, that would be a bit pathetic.

My Mrs thinks my brother is better looking than me - because he is. I agree with her as would 90% of people with working eyes

noosmummy12 · 02/02/2020 21:38

What an arrogant twat rocket. Well done you for standing up for yourself! I used to have a very pretty friend in my late teens/ early twenties and was always compared to her, had boyfriends tell me how beautiful she was etc

Thankfully it doesn’t happen any more but I totally feel for you x

staceyflack · 02/02/2020 22:02

Get rid. You will be insecure forever with this man. Good luck finding a partner who worships you and don't settle until you do. The current muppet is not the one. 💐

staceyflack · 02/02/2020 22:06

Just read your update. Well done. Hope its a relief and you're not too sad for too long. Your future is yours! 🙂

Frownette · 02/02/2020 22:08

My ex was theoretically very good looking but I didnt want to be with him for other reasons

OP he sounds like a twat

EmeraldShamrock · 02/02/2020 23:16

Surely noone would stick with a man who fancies their mates GFs more than them
To think someone is better looking than your partner doesn't mean you fancy them or want to be with them.
Some people are really good looking to deny it is immature.
I wouldn't ask as I would know they're better looking.
OP's ex is a twat that is grounds to dump, under normal circumstances it is silly to dump a partner if you ask and he answers someone else better looking.

BumbleBeee69 · 02/02/2020 23:18

how did he take that news OP ?

Craftycorvid · 02/02/2020 23:25

‘Ranking’ women (or any person) with marks out of ten for attractiveness: grim. Discussing women in those terms in front of your partner: even more grim. Comparing your partner numerically with anyone: grimmest. I do hope he has fun on his own ranking all the women who walked out on him. And well done, OP - 10/10 in fact.

AmelieTaylor · 02/02/2020 23:41

Some of the posters are as bad as your Ex Twat & their reading comprehension skills make my goldfish look intelligent. 🙄🙄

Ignore whatever drivel he comes out with, an apology means nothing when someone thinks & behaves the way he does!!!

Don’t give in to the ‘missing him/live him’ crap, that’ll soon pass - his attitude will always be the same!

incognitomum · 02/02/2020 23:52

Good for you dumping him. He's a knob.

WhenPushComesToShove · 02/02/2020 23:59

So pleased you've dumped him. What an absolute wanker of the highest order.