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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not of let this woman touch my baby

201 replies

flower1994 · 01/02/2020 18:26

had a really strange experience (in my opinion) happen in large supermarket earlier. was walking around with my 10 week old daughter in her pram when this older woman I would say in her 70s appeared out of nowhere and said rather consistently "you must do me a favour. you must let me touch the baby. you must let me touch her!" I was quite freaked out by this and backed off, turned my daughter away and said no. she asked rather aggressively "why not?" I said because I dont know you and she looked at me disgusted, stormed off whilst saying "the generation of today"

was I unreasonable to say no and be freaked out by this?

not sure if this is a generation thing or if people allow random strangers to touch their babies who are this young but I have to say I found it seriously odd!

OP posts:
user32564567 · 01/02/2020 21:33

Oh and I especially like the ones with socks.

tempnc123 · 01/02/2020 21:40

Oh and I especially like the ones with socks.

GrinGrinGrin

Striped or plain?

Huns2Getha4Eva · 01/02/2020 21:41

@user32564567 thanks xx its not all old people, to be fair, but ones who are strangers!!!!!! just discusting really to go round touching anyone elses bubs when u dont no them . xx

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2020 21:42

Why did nobody want to touch my babies? Sad

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 01/02/2020 21:45

I know sparkling
Where did we go sooo wrong

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 01/02/2020 21:46

Aw hun ur bubz ur roolz

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 01/02/2020 21:47

"Baby maulers"
Oh for fucks sake

Muddyfunker · 01/02/2020 21:52

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Huns2Getha4Eva · 01/02/2020 21:56

Id of sent her packing aswell @Muddyfunker as i said she might be a peedo or have a problem. Its not normal to touch someone elses baby's, lol. xx

GlomOfNit · 01/02/2020 21:57

Nobody is sterile, FFS. Ok, so you don't know where a stranger has been - but can you guarantee that your baby's uncle, her grandma, her sibling have recently washed their hands and showered in antibac gel? We are not germfree and this is how it's meant to be. Babies develop healthy immune systems by being in the world, not by being in a bubble where only foot-touching is permitted. How the hell do you suppose we have survived as a species this long?

God, it really makes me sad, this DON'T TOUCH MY BABY attitude. Communities used to live together and help out with childcare, not snarl at one another if they dared to breathe near their PFB. My dad is from a European country where community baby-snuggling is very natural and very much part of the culture. I'm not aware that they have a higher degree of baby unwellness because of that.

meredithgrey1 · 01/02/2020 22:00

I have a 7 month old and don't really have a problem with people who coo over her, touch her cheeks etc. But, if I ever said to someone "please don't do that" I would expect them to listen and not get aggressive with me over it.

Muddyfunker · 01/02/2020 22:01

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Dieu · 01/02/2020 22:02

Are you really sure she actually demanded to touch your baby? I do wonder about these MN situations at times.

Original poster
flower1994 · 01/02/2020 22:07

Dieu of course I'm sure, I was there lol

OP posts:
saraclara · 01/02/2020 22:08

I think this entirely depends on her body language, her facial expression and her tone of voice. Those words could either have been sweet, endearing and otherwise normal (in which case you are BU) or creepy and disturbing (in which case you are NBU).

I don't think we're in a place to judge from pixels on a screen

Original poster
flower1994 · 01/02/2020 22:08

the people who are trolling as well, I wonder the reaction if I had posted that a stranger had given my baby flu or herpes (both are plausible and have been seen in the news in recent times) would be quite so rude and dismissive of people being protective of their children. very unnecessary

OP posts:
LaMarschallin · 01/02/2020 22:09

I've had much more of a problem with people assuming I want to hold their babies.

I liked my own and I will no doubt like any grandchildren that eventually arrive but other people's babies never appeal.

Really don't want one dribbling over me or exuding a whiff of eau de filled nappy.

So, relax - not everyone is interested in your baby.

And I wouldn't want a "bub" or "bubba" anywhere near me.
I'd want its parents near me even less.

ruby2020 · 01/02/2020 22:11

YABU to say "to not of"

Original poster
flower1994 · 01/02/2020 22:12

LaMarschallin I'm not sure that is relevant to my thread though as this woman clearly did want to and actually told me "I must let her" nevermind there is clearly very different opinions on this. thanks to people who gave genuine views on it, not sure why this thread would of attracted the trolls though - there are far more laughable am I being unreasonable threads ongoing atm that would probably enjoy your presence

OP posts:
Original poster
flower1994 · 01/02/2020 22:12

ruby2020 acknowledged

OP posts:
liverpoolnana · 01/02/2020 22:15

Dear sweet flower1994, you said you had got the point about the grammar, but then you go and spoil it later by writing 'to of not even struck up a conversation'.
Of and have mean two different things. Of is never ever part of a verb.

TripTrappingOverMyBridge · 01/02/2020 22:17

Perhaps because bad grammar ('should of' is not poor spelling, as PP have pointed out; it's ignorance of grammar) brings out the troll in some people?

It's probably a combination of that, and batshit ideas that a stranger might give your baby herpes by touching them. Though, admittedly, I was a bit batshit precious about my PFB.

pallasathena · 01/02/2020 22:20

To not Have not OF!!!
It really isn't rocket science.
Standards people
Please.

Original poster
flower1994 · 01/02/2020 22:20

fair enough lol - probably not gonna believe me but I do know someone who's baby did get herpes from someone kissing them. not suggesting this woman was going to kiss her but how do I know that? Its kind of nothing to do with my thread though, people seem to be quite unnecessarily unkind on this area of mumsnet. not sure if I am missing something. I'm all for debating stuff but think it gets a bit ridiculous

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 01/02/2020 22:25

Herpes? Bollocks. Who told you that?

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