to not of let this woman touch my baby

[flower1994]

had a really strange experience (in my opinion) happen in large supermarket earlier. was walking around with my 10 week old daughter in her pram when this older woman I would say in her 70s appeared out of nowhere and said rather consistently "you must do me a favour. you must let me touch the baby. you must let me touch her!" I was quite freaked out by this and backed off, turned my daughter away and said no. she asked rather aggressively "why not?" I said because I dont know you and she looked at me disgusted, stormed off whilst saying "the generation of today"

was I unreasonable to say no and be freaked out by this?

not sure if this is a generation thing or if people allow random strangers to touch their babies who are this young but I have to say I found it seriously odd!

YANBU. I’m very relaxed about strangers interacting with and touching my baby (I absolutely love it when strangers stop to say hello to him because I think it’s really good for him to interact with people other than me and my husband) but from your description of the scenario it sounds weird and unnerving.

No, not unreasonable, and her insistence does sound a bit freaky. I would react the same.

When mine were babies and generations before, people would put coins or notes in your babies hands, an east end tradition, to make sure they never went without.
Probably horrifying for today's generation, germs ... strangers etc.....but things are so over the top now, people are scared to even smile at a baby or child in case they are accused of wanting to snatch them.
We celebrated our babies with those around us, probably the woman didn't mean it creepily, peopke just love babies.
I will still say things to babies like 'aww... so gorgeous I want to eat you.....' (not to strangers though, ) doesnt mean I'm gonna bite them.
Too much precious ness......

I had two tiny. Very prem babies. One was 1.5lbs. One was 2lbs. People queued almost to touch them and I hated it. So many people went to touch them. I understand. It’s a baby and it’s also a very small baby’s (though they were slightly bigger when discharged from the hospital). But I hated it. Most of the time I wouldn’t let them touch them. But we had so many try too

Wish I’d had your confidence.

Haha glad isnt just me who found it intrusive and a bit strange lol. glad I said no - the way I am I would of only worried about it after (for the reasons PP have said about illness' to mostly) and I agree babies aren't public property. I wouldn't appreciate someone randomly touching me in that situation so didnt feel it was appropriate to allow my baby to be either

@Rubyupbeat

I agree. We met this lovely older man. Who spent ages talking to my young children. He thanked me so much. He was a retired police officer and said people had run from him. Which I do understand to a point. But we were in a supermarket. With hundreds of people. Plus he was old. So I could easily outrun him if he’d run off with my kids.

YABVVVVU for saying 'not of' and 'would of', OP.

It is 'not have' and 'would have'.

Rubyupbeat I mean I get that but equally would you feel comfortable allowing random strangers to touch you? I guess it depends on your privacy/comfort level. also it's a bit different saying something like that as opposed to "you must let me touch your baby" which is what freaked me out the most

Herringbone31 again though if I had a conversation prior might of been different. I also think you should ask and not insist because it came across to me as quite strange

She sounds weird, that'd be a hard no from me. All fun and games until the tiny baby gets a serious illness, better to limit the hugs to family and friends who've washed their hands. (I have a toddler who weirdly loves babies, so I spend an awful lot of time explaining to him that mums of the little babies won't want him touching them as I see him diving off towards one. He's started to get it and stand back nicely admiring them.)

Most of mumsnet will say you have to book an appointment to have any contact with a baby

This FFS. They're stroking your kids cheek, not spitting directly into their mouth.

If you'd been chatting to a stranger about the baby (as happened a lot to me when ds was small) while waiting for a train and in a cafe and she'd asked for a hold while you drank your tea or something - nice and normal.

Stomping up to a complete stranger and demanding to touch their baby. Odd and bound to get a negative response.

This FFS. They're stroking your kids cheek, not spitting directly into their mouth.

Do you regularly demand to touch strangers' babies then?

I did have one neighbour who we otherwise like very much lean on and kiss DS on the lips when he was tiny, she was so fast I couldn't stop her. I then spent weeks worrying about herpes. We don't have it and still wouldn't kiss him on the lips FFS. People can be very odd.

YANBU

I find this idea that because babies are babies they are somehow community property, free to be touched by all, really bizarre.

No one would think it was unreasonable of me if I said I didn't want strangers to touch me on the face. Why should a baby have to have their face touched by strangers?

I was approached by an Italian granny when we were at a local tourist attraction. She kept repeating 'bellisimo bambino' over and over and stroking DS's cheeks and hair. DS was quite a striking baby with blonde ringletty hair and huge bright blue eyes. She then disappeared only to return with half her coach party of Italian grannies who all wanted to pet DS. They were so sweet that I eventually let them have a cuddle and they spent their entire afternoon fussing over the 'bellisimo bambino' rather than looking at the castle.

I don’t know who some people think they are but I would have been quite annoyed being approached by a random stranger who out of the blue insisted I ‘must let’ them do any thing. Sometimes these things happen quite naturally and it can be a nice exchange for all involved and some people go about things the wrong way. You’re not being unreasonable in this instance at all, and I don’t understand the people who think you were being rude by not letting this old lady make odd demands of you!

@Rubyupbeat

I agree with you. Touching babies was very common until a few years ago and was usually welcomed by the parents. I don't remember hordes of babies becoming sick from being touched by strangers - if anything they are more likely to catch something from family members or friends who have much closer contact. Many people get joy from the simply act of touching a baby, there is nothing sinister about it. There are groups of Mums who take their babies to rest homes to let the residents have the opportunity to interact with them, which includes touching. The world seems to have gone mad when someone wanting to simply touch a baby is seen as "really strange".

It’s have, not of.

Would have. Not have. Should have.

YANBU. Presumably you wouldn't let some random maul your kid if she was 10, say. Or you, if she asked. She sounds unhinged. Children aren't public property. They're human beings who deserve not to be touched by strangers.

People shouldn't touch stranger's babies, it's just weird.

The world seems to have gone mad when someone wanting to simply touch a baby is seen as "really strange".

I don't want strangers touching me so why is OK to touch a stranger's baby. I'm no snowflake but keep your paws to yourself.

My eldest had a head of blonde curls when he was a toddler and we were constantly approached by elderly people, brings back nice memories.

Maybe I’m just a relaxed mum who had babies yonks ago. I don’t see strangers as weirdos or conductors of viruses. Your own family and nurseries are more likely to pass on nasties.
It’s indicative of the present culture of “ exist in isolation “ and we’re all worse off due to it.

Your baby, your rules. End of.