To leave 16 and 13 year old alone overnight

[Scampitramp]

School years 11 & 9. 13 year old nearly 14.

We've been invited to a party a couple of hours away so will stay overnight. Would leave mid afternoon Saturday & return around lunchtime Sunday. Used to being left while we go out locally, sometimes until early hours. Fairly sensible - can be trusted not to have friends over/parties/not to set fire to the house.

Seeing it as first foray into further independence.

Yay or nay??

@BigusBumus I used to do that! Genius isn't it! I also coached work colleagues the same way, they also though it was great and worked well.

@BigusBumus genius! Why have I never thought of this?! Thank you 😊

My 16yr old DS was very independent, had been traveling across London to school from 11 and travelled all over London and the outskirts to visit friends, go to parties etc . He went abroad at 16 and also went to a festival for the weekend. I have no issues him going out however I wouldn't leave him overnight in my home at 16 as he would have defo got friends over and they were not a quiet reserved bunch! He managed to smash my back door window when we went out for a day never mind a night!

So many parents don’t let their kids grow up and be independent nowadays.
Being left overnight at 13 and 16 is absolutely fine. They aren’t toddlers - they don’t need babysitting !
They should’ve been taught how to cook their own meals and look after themselves well before they get to this age anyway .

Those parents that say no are probably the same parents whose 18yr olds go to uni and don’t even know how to boil an egg !

Teenage party is much more the issue than whether they will be ok. Of course they will be ok.

@cuckooken DS didn't do anything to the toaster- the crumbs hadn't been cleaned out of the bottom. This has just reminded me to clean out the crumb tray. It was very full.

Leave your kids if you think they'll be fine, OP.

Personally I wouldn't for a party, but would in an emergency.

The most likely 'what if' scenario really is a party. If you can trust them with this then they will be fine. I have no idea how some if these children are going to function as responsible adults when the time comes given how little independence they get. To suggest neglect needing social services when they are old enough to have children of their own is frankly ludicrous. As is the rude suggestion that having a night out until the early morning is nothing to be proud of if you have a 13 year old.

I would if the kids are ok with it, definitely won't plan a party and the neighbours are around. We started leaving ours all together when they were 17, 16 and 10. Before that we shipped the youngest off for a sleepover.

So much pearl clutching at a 16yo babysitting/being responsible for a younger sibling. Did none of you babysit at that age? It was a pretty common and well paid gig where I’m from, and I was babysitting preschoolers who needed actual entertaining/feeding/bathing/etc.
How much fucking responsibility could a nearly 14yo be? The 16yo will more than likely not need to leave her bedroom.

My 15yo regularly babysits my 10yo. Because A) she likes money, B) families help each other out, C) I do plenty for her (she literally woke me up at 10pm two nights ago and asked me to take her to her friends house, to which I obliged, because it’s nice to do things for one another even if it’s on occasion inconvenient) and D) it’s good for her to learn and have a bit of responsibility.

No wonder we have so many young adults with anxiety and struggling to cope with everyday basic life skills. Their parents think they can’t be responsible for anything at 16.

Oh by the way, I would have been more likely to have a party at 16 if I were alone, not being responsible for a sibling. They would snitch.

Go for it. Your only mistake is doubting your own judgement and asking the question in this forum as you must know your bound to get very conservative responses that will only have you feeling guilty the whole time your away. You know your kids and frankly your 16yo is responsible for a sibling in this case and that is not an unreasonable responsibility. Have fun.

@TwinTerrific Go for it.

What’s your teen party plan?

They would snitch.

I would never have snitched.

My siblings 100% would have snitched

I’m planning to do the same in a couple of weeks. I’m away for a weekend and ex can’t have them on the sat night so they’ll be home alone for about 18 hours. They’ll be absolutely fine. We live way too remotely for them to be having a party. They’ll prob sit in their rooms the whole time and only come out for food.
BUT I’m not in the UK and where I live this is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. But from all the pearl clutching on here I can see it would be frowned upon a lot in the UK

Dunno. Depends on the kids. I would leave for an evening but not until lunchtime the next day.

If you do do it I would ask neighbours to pop by during the evening to check all was well.

As long as they don't advertise a party on facebook, or try to murder one another - they will be fine

If you're worried about parties just tell them that maybe you're back at 11, maybe you'll stay the night, depends on the event. Not every teenager will immediately hold a rave, I never did.
I was actually living alone as an exchange student in a foreign country when I was 15 years old. Was fine.

I left my 16 and 14 year old alone overnight when I had to go abroad suddenly. They were happy because they were allowed to order a takeaway, which we have never had.

It really depends.

My sis and I could absolutely have been trusted not to burn the place down and be sensible.

However she was a bully to me. I would have hated being left alone with her and her in charge.

I left mine at this age overnight as husband was called away for work and I had concert tickets. They had next door neighbours number and grandparents live in same village, they were absolutely fine but they can be trusted and are sensible so it depends on the children.

This thread is hilarious!
Obviously all children are different. My 18yo ds isn’t half as sensible as his 14 yo brother but he’s an adult.
It also depends on neighbourhood but you’ve already said that you have good neighbours that your dc could call on.
I would leave mine at that age.
Have a nice time.

My DD is joining the Navy at 16.

Depends on the sensibilities of the teens, but I think its perfectly fine to leave a 16 year old overnight with a 13 year old. 16 year olds can leave home, work etc. I would be more worried about parties/friends etc.

I would, and have. I lived on my own at 16 and I've always promoted age appropriate independence in my own children.