kids sports coach advertising as prostitute and ex porn star under same name

[UGotTheLook]

AIBU? A local sports club gives great coaching for kids. But in the last few months a new coach started training the U13 girls. Some girls found the new coach creepy so have stopped going. I only found out about this after another girl googled the sports coach. The top Google searches under the coach's name are about them being an ex porn star and current prostitute who enjoys lots of unprotected sex with multiple clients (exact phrasing is too graphic for here). Top search results on other search engines are pornographic photographs and videos.

This is making me uncomfortable. While I think that people should have a private life, this coach is not keeping it private by having various explicit social media pages and porn videos using the same name that they coach under. Coupled with this, some of the girls were already uncomfortable with the coach before they knew this.

The club chair is an ex policeman and "safeguarding consultant", so there will have been a process, it's just that this coach passed.

Any thoughts?

Have you spoken to the sports club about this?

Yuck, is my first thought and I would not want my DC being trained by them, however great they are. Whatever your thoughts about porn or sex work and I hate both, I would think it displays a lack of both integrity and commonsense.

@foxglovesandprimroses

I completely agree.

OP, have you approached the sports club directly so they can hear your complaint and see the evidence you've uncovered? Your concerns should be treated seriously considering the nature of his other work, which may not be technically illegal in terms of prostitution, but surely cannot be compatible with the tenets of safeguarding or anything else expected from that job.

GinDaddy, no I want to be clear on what I think first.

Foxgloves, I'm not so fond of sex work, but I would not discriminate against those who do sex work. It's the lack of distinction in the two roles that worries me, and the fact that the girls were already upset by the coach before they googled the coach's name.

I'm not sure what the DBS checks would find if he's never been in trouble. So the safeguarding might all be complete.

It's.more of a moral dilemma. Does it make you unhappy that he is training your child? If so - you can choose to stay or go. But tell the club why you are making your decision.

Safeguarding consultant clearly isn’t safeguarding.

If a child can discover this from google. Regardless if a DBS check is clean.

Mumdiva If the coach wasn't so open about it and I had found out through some weird coincidence and the girls didn't know and didn't feel uncomfortable, I would have much less of an issue. It's the lack of boundaries and the fact that the girls are upset that is most worrying to me.

I don't think that girls should have to choose between feeling safe and doing sports.

@UGotTheLook

OK, so what do you need to be "clear on" in order to be able to approach the club?

As in, what more due diligence or information do you require, and how will you go about acquiring that?

Are you sure it's the same person, and not just someone with the same name? I mean have you seen pictures (hopefully just of the face )?!

Soulstars, it's literally the top result on google. Not the most pornographic stuff, but the top result is one click away from from the most pornogrpahic stuff. On other search engines the pornographic pictures literally display at the top of the screen.

Are you 100% certain it is the same person? Are there pictures? It sounds like it could be some revenge act to slander the coach.

You have every right to address your concerns but I would just be very careful in how you approach it.

They wold have had to have had a full background check so it's highly unlikely they would've passed if the things on google are correct.

Wannabee, def the same. Same face. And sadly, I have seen far more than I would choose from, just as a top result on one search engine.

Absolutely sure it's the same person?

Butterfly, absolutely certain without a shred of a doubt. Photos, videos. Pornographic career going back a decade, multiple social media pages, IMDB porn movie credit, everything! Current protitution page soliciting.

If you don't think the girls should have to choose then I think you have your answer. You are uncomfortable enough with this man to want to raise it to the club. As you have also said being a sex worker isn't inherently wrong. But you are unhappy about this individual. Just be clear on the issue you are raising. And expect that he may have already disclosed to the club and they might tell you that you are free to leave..... They might not though.

is it a male or female coach? just being nosey.

It's unlikely, but maybe someone else is putting this stuff of them online- what sort of moron would coach children and do sex work under the same name? it makes no sense.

That sort of stuff isn't going to show up in a DBS check, so the club may be unaware.

@gindaddy Ok, so here's the complicating issue. The coach is trans. (Variously describes herself as transwoman, transexual, shemale, male on different sites. I try to be inclusive with my language, but it's unclear how she describes herself)

I am worried about myself and the girls being accused of being bigots. These things get nasty quickly. I am not "transphobic" or anti-sexworkers.

The club safeguarding officer is an ex policeman. I cannot think that he does not know about the coach's profession and web presence. If he approves he could quite easily get his old colleagues to register hate incidents about me and royally mess up my career.

You dont have to make it a trans issue simply bring it up to the safeguarding that the under 13 girls googled their coach and told you so you did too. When he asks what you found thats concerning ask him to search the name himself and remind him that girls UNDER THE AGE OF 13 found this not by looking for anything bad just theyre coaches name. Which they're quite at liberty to do. He can make up his own mind as to if its a safeguarding issue or not and if he hasnt got an issue with it you can either leave the class or shrug and say "i just thought you should know in case you get a parent in here frothing at the mouth when theyre 9 year old saw it"

I don’t think you’re being transphobic to say you’re concerned that the children’s sports coach also promotes their sex work online in a freely searchable manner. I would be concerned that my child might google their name and come across explicit material. I think that’s a legitimate concern. You could ask the safe guarding officer if they feel your concerns are reasonable and if they could offer you some reassurance in the matter.

@pretenditsaplan Good points. I don't want to make it a trans issue. That's why i didn't mention it to begin with. I'll be honest though, it is affecting how I view the situation - if it was a natal man or a natal woman with the same web pages under their name I would have been down there like a shot. But I am scared! I do not want to have the police knocking at my door for hate speech or something.

"The club chair is an ex policeman and "safeguarding consultant", so there will have been a process, it's just that this coach passed."

I would not assume that any process had been through that had managed to weed out the coaches other activities.

I think this is a massive safeguarding issue and I'd bring it to the clubs attention straight away. if they keep this coach on then I would probably take this to a higher authority and I'd certainly make sure my child wasn't part of the activities this coach is involved in.

It really doesn't matter if the coach is trans, male, female or whatever. If they are openly involved in producing and promoting porn etc then they should not be coaching the under age girls team. It's a no-brainer.

If this coach means more to the centre than the girls in the groups then I'd take my girl elsewhere and make sure why friends knew why.

Please act and do not assume anyone will know anything.

"If he approves he could quite easily get his old colleagues to register hate incidents about me and royally mess up my career." So you think that as an ex copper he is both aware of what is going on and will also attempt to mess with your career if you complain?

I'm really sorry you think that opposing a sex worker being involved with children as a coach will make you look like a bigot. I guess this just shows how far we have slipped into a topsy truvey world of madness.

Good god! Five years back this would be headline news. Not sure what to say now.

Personal advice. Just remove your girls from that class. Have her turn up to no class to teach. Say it's because your DD doesn't feel like eg 'basketball' anymore. Don't say otherwise. Get word out to other mums. Actually call them one by one, in person as it's sensitive.

The police certainly have pestered some high profile people on views about trans issues but this clearly is a safeguarding issue.

If you are worried have a read here www.faircop.org.uk/about