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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s rude to take one look at the dinner I have cooked then get lots of condiments for it.

561 replies

Wasail · 29/01/2020 22:32

I spend time preparing a meal that is tasty and balanced, H takes one look at it, doesn’t taste it or anything, just gets his collection of condiments from the fridge and smothers his dinner.
We are talking things like truffle mayo ( he is a bit wanky with his condiment collection) so things that will fundamentally change the flavour of the meal. And no, I didn’t make fish and chips. ketchup or mayo, not both, would be acceptable in that case.
I think it’s unbelievably rude of him, he thinks it’s perfectly fine.

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 30/01/2020 16:34

You would honestly (try to) force somebody to choose between ketchup and mayo???

See Heinz do a ketchup/mayo mix in one bottle now!

goodgodingovan · 30/01/2020 16:36

I don't think it's rude and I think it's really controlling when people try to tell people what they can add to their own food.

midwestfornow · 30/01/2020 16:38

I think it is rude to auto-condiment.

It is something that I don't allow dc to do. Thinking about it I wouldn't allow them to cover everything in tomato ketchup either.
I put out on the table any appropriate condiments for the meal.
If people want to eat something different to what I've cooked they are welcome to cook.
Happily DH and I agree on this.

ClientQueen · 30/01/2020 16:45

I guess it depends what people class as appropriate condiments
I mean I like apple sauce with any roast, also with gammon but I wouldn't see that as wrong unless I was smothering every single meal even pasta in half a jar then I would have a word with myself!

Stinkycatbreath · 30/01/2020 16:48

I am suprused that people are bothered. I couldnt care less if people add tonnes of condiments to anything Ive made. Not me eating it is it?

aSofaNearYou · 30/01/2020 16:48

This sentence alone makes me think that you are exceptionally controlling about condiments! You would honestly (try to) force somebody to choose between ketchup and mayo???

Agreed. I really like the combination and would consider it weird if my partner thought that was unacceptable.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 30/01/2020 16:54

What do you think of this op?

It’s rude to take one look at the dinner I have cooked then get lots of condiments for it.
Mmmmdanone · 30/01/2020 16:55

My DH once or ketchup on his Christmas dinner (which I'd made) and when I complained he said it was his dinner and he could do what he liked 😟

FamilyOfAliens · 30/01/2020 16:56

Of course, I do not base my friendships on what condiments they use

Way to completely misread my post. Since it obviously needs clarifying, what I posted was that if the view is that the OP’s DH should put whatever he likes on his dinner, regardless of whether it actually needed anything added to it, because it makes him happy and anyone trying to stop him is clearly a control freak, why would it not be ok to do it at a dinner party, where it might also make him happy?

And to the poster who thinks adding salt to your food at someone’s house is the same as adding three different sauces to the food before you’ve even tasted it - really?

AryaStarkWolf · 30/01/2020 16:58

My DH once or ketchup on his Christmas dinner (which I'd made) and when I complained he said it was his dinner and he could do what he liked

too right!

my husband puts ketchup on his roast potatoes, not just ones I've made, he puts them on ones he's made himself or on restaurant roast potatoes.............just because, shock horror, he like ketchup on roast potatoes

ZeroFuchsGiven · 30/01/2020 16:59

@FamilyOfAliens I or my friends would have no issue in any of us using whatever condiments we desire at any of our homes. Better?

Shock horror we would even just fetch it from the fridge/cupboard without asking Shock

AryaStarkWolf · 30/01/2020 17:02

And to the poster who thinks adding salt to your food at someone’s house is the same as adding three different sauces to the food before you’ve even tasted it - really?

So I'm allowed add salt then? great Grin

Also, I'm assuming a person wouldn't go rooting around the fridge/cupboards at a dinner party so unless it was on the table then I couldn't imagine someone adding 3 different sauces to the dinner (although my husband would probably ask a friend for mayo or ketchup if he wanted some, really don't get what the big deal is at all

LondonJax · 30/01/2020 17:14

Well as someone who used to add tomato ketchup to everything when I was little, I can't see the problem. Neither could my parents. My mum's attitude was 'if it gets LondonJax eating vegetables then it's fine'. And now, of course, I don't smother everything in tomato ketchup as my tastes changed. But if I did, it wouldn't be an affront to someone's cooking - it'd just be because I like tomato ketchup.

I seriously couldn't get worked up about it. Of course, that may be because my DH is a mayonnaise freak and has been known to put it on the side of a roast dinner - apparently it is very yummy. Can't say I'm tempted but it's his meal, his stomach and his arteries.

Bluewavescrashing · 30/01/2020 17:19

DH does this. He empties a quarter of a bottle of HP sauce over most meals I make. It annoys me but meh, I don't complain about it anymore unless he is faffing about for ages adding bits to the meal from the fridge and I sternly tell him to sit down and eat it up.

LaurieMarlow · 30/01/2020 17:23

I put out on the table any appropriate condiments for the meal.

I would love to see ‘appropriate condiments’ detailed for the most popular meals.

You know you want to Wink

IceCreamFace · 30/01/2020 17:28

To be fair if someone's taken ages to prepare a special meal it would be polite to eat it as it comes, smearing the meal in ketchup tends to imply it's a bit bland. That said at home, amongst your close family if someone wants their dinners extra salty or covered in ketchup you should just let them. Yes it probably means they have an unsophisticated pallet but who cares, that's just how they are - they should be able to enjoy the meal the way they like it in their own home instead of standing on ceremony. It probably would make me less inclined to spend hours preparing a meal for DH's sake if he didn't really appreciate it - but that's fine too.

IceCreamFace · 30/01/2020 17:31

There are definitely appropriate condiments for certain meals e.g. mint sauce with a lamb roast, tartare sauce with fish etc it's not usual to serve up a roast dinner with ketchup or a lasagne with mango chutney. If someone asked for some I'd get them some but I don't put every possible random condiment on the table when serving up a meal.

mbosnz · 30/01/2020 17:33

In our home, it's manners to taste the meal before you season.

This is possibly because one side of the family has a reasonably highly acclaimed chef in it, and wish to ensure our children made it to adulthood necessitated them learning this lesson very early.

But no one really needs to season food here, I guess the girls have grown up with our seasoning preferences, and DH is an amazing natural cook (I'm not, I have to measure and I always stress!). There's foods we add sauces to of course, according to preference - DD2 and I are often asked a little bit caustically if we'd like some maccy cheese to go with our tomato sauce. . .

We've never had people round for food that seemed to feel the need to add salt or pepper either. Maybe everyone's just too polite. . .

NoseyBuggerMummy · 30/01/2020 17:52

Anyone who smothers three different condiments over every dinner clearly doesn't appreciate subtle flavours so forcing them to taste it first would be petty. I wouldn't let DC do this because it's unhealthy and I'd rather they developed the ability to actually taste flavours that aren't just ketchup. If DH was doing it I'd probably be inclined to think he was a lost cause and let him crack on.

midwestfornow · 30/01/2020 17:52

@LaurieMarlow I'm almost tempted 😂
I think my over control of condiments comes from not wanting dc who cover everything in sauces.
Partly for health, they tend to high in either sugar or salt or both.
Partly we have always eaten out a fair bit and I didn't want dc who asked for ketchup with everything.
And finally I wanted to teach them what traditional pairings were.
( so two decent reasons and one that is pure snobbery)

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 30/01/2020 17:54

No it’s not. He knows what flavours he wants to taste with his dinner so he gets them. It’s very simple.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 30/01/2020 17:58

It’s quite odd and controlling to insist a person eats precisely what you have decided they should and are only allowed to add their own preferences after a certain amount of time.

Tbh I reckon you’d claim to be even more offended if he tasted it and then went and got his condiments.

DeRigueurMortis · 30/01/2020 17:58

This is possibly because one side of the family has a reasonably highly acclaimed chef in it, and wish to ensure our children made it to adulthood necessitated them learning this lesson very early.

I'm not a chef but I am admittedly a "foodie" and told by family I'm a good cook (and I enjoy cooking).

I'm quite surprised by this thread tbh in the sense how many people think it's ok to slather a meal in a multitude of condiments that individually and with the right accompaniments are perfectly lovely (apart from "truffle mayo" which is usually anything but) but together sound absolutely vile and leave no room to enjoy the flavour of the "meal" itself other than perhaps it's texture.

As per my initial post - condiments are a wonderful thing when they "flavour pair" and enhance the main event.

Auto-condiments just suggest that someone's palette is shot/indiscriminate.

If as an adult they are fine with this in their own home then crack on but personally I would not be cooking for or wasting expensive ingredients on anyone who can't actually taste (and is not prepared to taste) what's in front of them.

It's akin to buying expensive perfume for someone without a sense of smell.

Utterly pointless.

mbosnz · 30/01/2020 18:02

On the other hand, if a guest came and asked to put maple syrup on their steak, I would instantly get the maple syrup, and apologise for not having had it on the table.

A la Scout's luncheon guest in To Kill a Mockingbird, when he put the maple syrup on his lunch. . . poor Scout. What a lesson in manners she got that day!

midwestfornow · 30/01/2020 18:05

I would also get a guest anything they wanted. It would be bad hosting not to.