It’s rude to take one look at the dinner I have cooked then get lots of condiments for it.

[Wasail]

I spend time preparing a meal that is tasty and balanced, H takes one look at it, doesn’t taste it or anything, just gets his collection of condiments from the fridge and smothers his dinner.
We are talking things like truffle mayo ( he is a bit wanky with his condiment collection) so things that will fundamentally change the flavour of the meal. And no, I didn’t make fish and chips. ketchup or mayo, not both, would be acceptable in that case.
I think it’s unbelievably rude of him, he thinks it’s perfectly fine.

Batshit.

My dad adds salt to cooked meals without tasting but hes a smoker so his tastebuds are fooked.I dont see anything wrong with making your meal exactly how you like it tbh.

The Condiment Police.

There’s more going on here. In a happy, loving, equal relationship you wouldn’t be worried about condiments.

Meal is tasty and balanced to you but, unseasoned to him. SIL is lovely but her food has no taste whatsoever, it just looks nice.

I can't stand bland food so I do add condiments if I can. I wouldn't do it is person who cooked was present though as that's rude.

"My stew can stand on its own two feet"

OP you need to stop acting like the condiment police, it is arrogant and controlling. Let him eat the food however he wishes. If fish roulade was set down in front of me, I would also be doing something to make it more bearable. Just because you like something, doesn't mean everyone has to!

Oh gosh yes this would annoy me so much. I think I am quite controlling of food though! I plan a meal including condiments - for example mixed up a garlic yoghurt dressing to go with the vegetable shawarma we had last night. I would have been annoyed if DP had rejected that and gone and got the ketchup.

That said, he is trying to diet (at his request) so I am calorie counting which might make a difference. If I had prepared a meal with a low fat sauce and he had smothered it in mayo I would have been pretty cross.

YABU and a bit precious, let him enjoy his food whatever way he likes, jesus

Theres a difference between addinga bit of sauce(s)/salt etc to a meal and smothering a meal with them - particularly one that someone has put a lot of effort into.

The first is fine, the latter is a bit rude/thoughtless/ungrateful. As usual, shades of grey. So no , YANBU.

I don't know how someone could get wound up by their partner eating food in a manner that pleases them. It's like getting wound up by someone's music taste or their favourite colour. Surely their happiness is your happiness?

What's the alternative? Would you feel better about yourself if he ate the food you prepared but didn't enjoy it? Isn't that outrageously self-centred?

A condiment you have made yourself is hardly a fair comparison.

Surely their happiness is your happiness?

We’re not all surrendered wives.

I wouldn’t do this in someone else’s home, but I always salt my food before I taste it. I like my food saltier than the rest of the family, so even salt it if I have cooked it myself. Let the man enjoy his dinner!

Having said that while it would certainly very be rude to drench food in sauce if visiting a friend outside, if it’s just between two people at home maybe the OP is better off just putting less effort into his meals and don’t make a big thing about it

This conversation reminds me of the one about the correct hands to use for knives and forks - each to their one, I say!

@MaryMcCarthy
Sometimes it’s fine. Sometimes it’s laziness. Some people just drench everything in ketchup/mayo/mustard/salt before they’ve even tasted a bite. If you’ve spent ages, maybe hours, trying to make a nice meal for someone, trying to get the taste just right, and they don’t even try it before they drown it in store bought sauces.... you don’t see a problem with that?

It wouldn’t bother me at all. People have different tastes. My DH loves everything spicy and knows even before he tastes my chilli etc that it won’t be spicy enough for him.
I cover everything in salt....I don’t like many foods without it. I’m not saying to the chef/cook “you haven’t made this right” it’s just how I like it!

Personally I don't care that much if people use condiments on food that I cook - everyone is different and it it complements what i make (or maybe disguises the taste!) from their point of view then that's ok with me. On the other hand, I do understand that not everyone sees it that way so, no, i don't think that you are unreasonable OP.

Sorry if i'm repetitive, i stopped reading at p4.

Going to do a bit of fence sitting i'm afraid!

High level cooking is often seen as almost art like, blending the sauce, flavours, textures etc. If you go to a fine dining resturant and start asking for ketchup, salt, peppar etc. you'll get some odd looks, beacuse the chef's are proud of their work and don't feel it needs changing. Its the same as if you went to an art gallery, and suggested after you bought a fine piece of art, that the artist splash some more blue paint over it, and draw a smiley face on the sun, or whatever. With this kind of thing, it maybe 'pay your money, take your choice' but you'll get some odd looks and comments.

However I suppose your DH has the right to have hois food as he enjoys it. But to fundimentally change the flavours to an excellent sounding roulade could be seen as insulting to someone who has made an effort to go beyond fish fingers or sausage and mash.

If you're a thoughtful and talented cook, OP I can see why you feel insulted.

No; some people just like condiments - it's not a criticism of your cooking. I don't like condiments much myself, but many do. I admit to not having yet RTFT, but I'm a little puzzled about the situation. Are condiments on or near the table anyway, or has he bought them specially? If they are around, you can't complain that someone uses them! If he provided them, that's a bit odd if he's a guest, not odd if he's your dh (wasn't quite clear to me which of these he was!). In the latter case, it's his home too.

Surely their happiness is your happiness?

We’re not all surrendered wives.

I think it's genuinely sad that the notion of shared happiness automatically conjures the image of a surrendered wife to you. Sad that you'd have such a chip on your shoulder... especially in the context of cooking a meal for your partner.

No-one's forcing anyone to cook a meal but in the event that you do, why wouldn't you want your husband or wife to be made happy? Why do they have to enjoy their food in a way that makes YOU happy?

Like I said, outrageously self-centred. Why does it matter? They're eating what you made. If you feel they're not appreciating it, then don't bloody make it.

I think the key thing is how he went about it. Of course he can season his food as he sees fit, but if she’s gone to the trouble of making a sauce etc, he should pay her the respect of tasting it first and being a little less gung-ho with the condiments.. It’s just manners.

It is rude if you have taken care to prepare a well seasoned meal, it is more so if he hasnt even tasted it. An insult to the cook. A chef in a restaurant would go mad

DH has a vast condiment collection too, and will often have several on the same meal. If we go out for a pub meal and he has a mixed grill ... thst bit where the server asks which sauces he'd like, the answer is "all of them". English mustard for this meat, french mustard for that, brown sauce if there's sausage, ketchup for the chips, mayo for t.he bit of salad. And then possibly a couple of others just because they are there!!

And at home? Chilli sauce (he has several varieties) on most things and maybe some jalapenos on the side!!

And if he then has the gall to say something about the meal then I ask him how on earth can he tell as he has not eaten the dish as I prepared it!!

I think it's genuinely sad that the notion of shared happiness automatically conjures the image of a surrendered wife to you. Sad that you'd have such a chip on your shoulder... especially in the context of cooking a meal for your partner.

I know right? Wanting your husband to enjoy his food makes you a "surrendered wife" wtaf?