To never tell them their birth order?

[sunshinepoppy]

I have twin boys who were born by c-section. Over the years I have seen interviews with adult twins where they set great store by their birth order. E.g saying one should know better because they are elder by 5 mins. This type of dynamic seems odd and unhelpful.

For this reason we have decided not to tell the boys their birth order. I am now starting to doubt this decision because I am not sure it is my right to keep the information from them.

They are only 6 months old so we have not told them anything yet.
I would appreciate seeing people’s opinions about this. Especially opinion from someone who has a twin.

Omg this is family banter. Please stop being so silly. And you havnt told them yet??? 6 months old i dont think anything is more important than poo and food they wouldnt have a clue what you were on about. They will ask you. What will you say. Oooo its a secret. First thing twins are asked "whos oldest" Your making a mountain out of a molehill.

I'm a twin and have twins... I am 1 minute older than my sis ..... I have called her my 'little' sis for 40yrs you can't take that away :)
My twins are wildly different at 11 one is in age 14-15 clothes voice breaking grunting lug, the other is in 8-9 clothes one of the smallest in his year group and still holds my hand on way back from school... The small one is the 'oldest' .....and likes to remind his brother that he's the big bro despite little bro towering over him.

I have 15 year old boy/girl twins. An hour and 5 mins between them. I’ve never had a problem with them knowing who was born first. My daughter’s name (2nd twin) comes alphabetically before her brother, so she was always first in the school register at primary school 😂 A friend has recently had twins, born on different days 😊

You are seriously overthinking this. I have identical twin boys one minute apart (crash c-section) and they have never argued over age or mentioned it. Now they are 14 they argue who's fattest or got more spots 🤷‍♀️😂 one is dyslexic and the one isn't and that's caused far more rows.

Chill out. You have bigger things to worry about.

I have twins. They like their birth order because its individual to them and they share so much else. There is 45 minutes between them.
Have honestly never encountered this,
but anyone who thought twin one should be more mature/twin two younger is fucking batshit and would be told so...

Op you’re overthinking this. I’m a twin and both myself and my DS would be more annoyed at having this information withheld from us than the information itself - it means nothing to us 😃

My Id twin boys were born by c-section- one came out 20 seconds before the other- they know, it’s not a big deal- we don’t make it a big deal. The one who would’ve come out first, had they not come out the sunroof, came out second.

They are now 11.

Perhaps it will be important to the children themselves

Why will it be important ? What possible use does it have ?

I had my twins by C section 27 years ago.
They have always known which was 2mins older.
They like knowing and have a really lovely twin thing between themselves about it.
It will only be a big thing if you and others around them let it be.

Just because one found the birth canal first, didn't mean he was conceived first.

I don’t think you should hold that information from them. I’m a twin and I couldn’t imagine not knowing I was the younger twin. To be honest, they will find out and best from you rather than someone else. I can guarantee you that they will ask you in a few years time and What would you say ... you don’t know, or you’ve forgotten??
I understand your reasoning for perhaps keeping it from them but in honesty, in my experience the whole ‘5 mins’ older or younger really isn’t the biggest deal (perhaps apart from when they are growing Up for a short spell).

There are 10 mins between me and my sister and I don’t think of her as my older sister, she’s my twin sister (I also have 2 older sisters and I see them as my older sisters).

Your twins will be thankful for each other as they grow up - it’s quite a different relationship from just being a sibling and this kind of thing won’t really matter.
Good luck with your decision.

I am a twin who is 5 minutes older than my brother and our birth order doesn’t bother us...it’s super interesting to other people though it’s always one of the the first questions people ask the other one being “are you identical” which is hilarious! My mom said my brother was so difficult when she was pregnant and that she always worried about me and that probably the only reason I came out first is that he literally kicked me out and then popped out feet first looking all beautiful while I was all squashed! I think you should tell them it doesn’t make a difference and they will definitely want to know one day.

I have never had a time on any birth certificate of my children or indeed my own? Since when has this been a thing in the uk?

@sadatchristmas1

Its been standard for many decades for multiple births, but not singletons unless you're in Scotland.

@sadatchristmas1 this has been answered many many times on this thread.
In England all multiple births have the times recorded. In Scotland all births have the times recorded.

I agree with @Greentulips it really is no-ones business.

I think your concerns are really legitimate. With that in mind I would opt to tell them they were born at exactly the same time and when they're much older they'll get their birth certs and they'll see the times but it will too late to cause the issues you describe.

You have every right to handle it your way.

Yes, no time on my single child’s certificate, just the twins.
As above I was told that it was incase eldest inherited a title or was in succession to the throne!

My mother in law was a twin. They frequently mentioned who was oldest

This seems ridiculous to me sorry

@theunknownknown if they were born in England or Wales their birth certs will have their time of birth on them

Really? I have 3 children and have never seen this.

Is this a new thing? Is this just for twins? Why have I never seen this? Have I never looked at my children’s birth certs?

This is just bizarre. I have twin girls and they need to school for things at school. You are making this into a thing.

SILs are twins. They know who was born first and the fact has always been no more than family banter now and then. I would say this was down to the way their parents have raised them.

I think when they are older and they ask who was born first weather that be age 5 or 20 then they should be allowed to know who was born first.

Op just curious but did neither you or your husband actually read the birth certificates when you got them, because if one if you had, you'd have known the time of birth was on there.

@ciwi76
this has been answered many many times on this thread.
In England all multiple births have the times recorded. In Scotland all births have the times recorded.