To never tell them their birth order?

[sunshinepoppy]

I have twin boys who were born by c-section. Over the years I have seen interviews with adult twins where they set great store by their birth order. E.g saying one should know better because they are elder by 5 mins. This type of dynamic seems odd and unhelpful.

For this reason we have decided not to tell the boys their birth order. I am now starting to doubt this decision because I am not sure it is my right to keep the information from them.

They are only 6 months old so we have not told them anything yet.
I would appreciate seeing people’s opinions about this. Especially opinion from someone who has a twin.

I have never seen a time on a birth certificate. British birth certificates certainly do not have the time on them.

I take it the poster who wrote this isn't in Scotland.

I think it was posted by someone who thinks Britain = England. Surprisingly common idiocy.

Pretty sure my kids' birth certificates don't state time of birth on them. Is it different for twins then?

Having talked to a twin who I know very well, she strongly resents the way she was meant to be the responsible 'older' one (by a few minutes), versus the 'younger' one who was babied and allowed to be irresponsible.

@SayNoToCarrots I’ve not read the whole thread but birth certificates do have times on them for multiple births.

I think it was posted by someone who thinks Britain = England. Surprisingly common idiocy

Ain't that the truth!....

Just tell them you don't remember and it doesn't matter anyway....they both for here safely.

Got....not for....

I don't really see what difference it makes, but want to add that since everyone keeps mentioning it's on their birth certificates - I'm 24 and have never seen my birth certificate before.

Twins are even more competitive than non-twin siblings. Legally, one has to be older, and it's the one that lies lower down that's arbitrarily called 'twin one'.

Regardless of how they're born, their order is simply a legal nicety. With a C-section, there are usually two midwives, and surgically one is removed first as part of a safe procedure, and then the time of birth is usually set as a minute apart.

Your boys will naturally want to know who was first. If you can't bear the thought of endless bickering, do as we did and settle it by saying that the older one is required to have a whole minute's worth of extra forethought, responsibility, preparation for all weathers, etc etc

have non identical twin nephews. I can never remember who is the older twin and also , to my shame, which one I’m Godmother to
I couldn’t accurately name my DTs godparents if you put a gun to my head. I’m 80% confident who the people are, but who is who, not a clue.

I have never seen a time on a birth certificate. British birth certificates certainly do not have the time on them
Then I guess you don't have twins!!
All multiple births have the time of birth, singletons do not.

Of all the things to worry about . Just tell them when they ask and don't make a fuss about it. They'll have plenty to compare and argue about regardless unfortunately OP, I can't see how it's any different than any other sibling, twins or singular births, one will always be older or younger.

This thread has become a bit 'cancel the cheque'

This is crackers.

Honestly OP, as your kids grow you will realise that their adult personalities are formed by a million tiny decisions you make for them every day. You can’t hide this information from them. They are going to be the sum of many, many parts and you’re focusing unnecessarily on a very small, insignificant thing.

@CallmeAngelina yes, multiple births have the time on their BC.

Wayyyyy over thinking it

If they ask, just say 'i'll check' and then just say you haven't had the chance ....or you don't know where the birth certs are for now - ie bluff them for years!.

But that just makes it look like you don't remember or care

Pretty sure my kids' birth certificates don't state time of birth on them. Is it different for twins then?

Yes and in Scotland for singletons apparently

I am 20 minutes younger than my twin. My mum told us ALL the time.
Teachers mentioned it....then my mentioned to me that they had mentioned it.

(We were premature but they were normal birth weight and went home...)

I actually get on really well with my twin and I dont think the time difference mattered unless people made it matter. Treat them as individuals who as individuals will have different strengths. Dont compare them.

It’s their right to know when they’re old enough to ask.

I can’t actually believe this is A thing. If twins actually care about this then they need to grow the fuck up

I have limited twin experience, but of the two pairs of identical twins I do know, the younger has been a complete arse, and the older has constantly had to get them out of scrapes. (And by "scrapes" I include "I've got a girl pregnant, if you sh*g her too then they can't prove it's me who is the dad)

As I said, an arse.

All multiple births have the time of birth, singletons do not.
Yes they do, IN SCOTLAND.

If they ever go to boarding school, it will matter, as the older one will be Ma, and the younger one will be Mi. I do realise this is perhaps not entirely relevant to most people, but you never know.

I have twins; born one minute apart. We have not kept birth order a secret. We don’t want to keep secrets from them. Imagine them asking and you not telling and your twins knowing you are purposefully withholding information from them.