To not like this text message?

[Fidgetwonkam]

How would you feel if you received this message from your boyfriend/partner?

I had mentioned that I wanted to start again with my hobby that I haven’t done for a long time (well before I met him)

I know it was sent with good intentions but I just don’t like it. Aibu?

How would it make you feel to get a text like that?

[POST EDITED BY MNHQ TO REMOVE TEXT]

Is he called Ezra by any chance OP? I used to know an Ezra who talked a lot like that. Lots of words but very little meaning.

is he a bit intense??

Sounds like a douche

I'm not saying women cause men to be nasty ffs. I'm just saying that by making a man feel like being nice is a bad thing she wouldn't be doing herself any favours.

He feels he's punching above his station and is trying a little bit too hard, but I say give the poor chap a break. Focus on what's good, but if not enough chemistry THEN finish it, but this isn't a deal breaker.

I think a lot of people round here only know "woke" or indeed perfect men. Maybe thats because they have very very high personal standards and dont socialise or spend time with other sorts of men.

I work with a lot of what you might call "unreconstructed" men. I see a lot of behaviour like this, along with real abject clumsiness around women. Doesnt make them bad people.

Also, a lot of people who do pottery like rubbish poetry. Dont know why but its observable. Perhaps he thought you were one of them.

I agree the first line is patronising. But also is it just me who sees the tulip emoji as making the last line an ick double entendre?

Op if my dh sent this i'd think he'd gone totally mad but it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I guess if it's less out if character then it's calling other things into question for you.

He should have wrrtien something like this ...

"I think it's fab that you do pottery.

Meeting you was like winning the lottery.

And as you create using your wheel,

I know one day, I'll get down and kneel"

Was he drunk when he sent it? If not then I don't like it. All the kisses are wierd. And the fact he 'needs' you to do it. Almost like you have no choice.

It's crap and cringy.
More to the point it sounds as if he's giving you permission because having thought it over you doing pottery benefits him (in some weird way). Presumably if he hadn't 'needed you to throw' or needed more than a 'good looking lady' , he wouldn;t have approved.

In fact it is none of his business whether you do pottery or not - you don't need his blessing, do what the hell you like and ditch him

He has begun to irritate you. He’s not for you.

"I need you pot"
"I need you to pot"

Op... come on now.

He's objectifying you in this off bit of poetry. V revealing.

Cringey, I admit,
Cos his poetry is shit.
But he’s just trying to show
That he loves you, you know.

Eh? It sounds supportive of your wish to me, most women would love their partner to support them in doing a hobby. What don't you like - the dodgy poetry?

I feel like I’m tolerating this strange, harmless, inappropriateness too often now, and It’s making me question if we are right together.

You sound incompatible OP.

I've been with someone who sounds similar to him, nice person but sort of overly earnest in a way that made me cringe and that cringe developed into (this sounds horrible) an almost skin crawling uncomfortableness when he said / did things that were overly earnest.

I also felt like he was projecting onto me the way he thought a doting boyfriend would behave, so none of the things he said were really about me they were almost like him acting out what he thought romantic was.

I also couldn't really be myself because whereas with my now DP we have such a laugh and feel like equals, my ex put me on a pedestal to the extent it would feel almost mean to take the piss out of him affectionately or be sweary and gobby which is my natural state!

It became a visceral ick response and so I broke up with him. He sent me gifts for about 6 months after we split (we'd only been seeing each other a little less than that!!) despite no other contact.

When I said please can you not send things it makes me uncomfortable because I made it clear I wanted a clean break and no contact, he would say "oh but it was too you to not get it for you". Again, outwardly trying to look generous but actually not respecting any boundaries and tbh being creepy.

Anyway, the ick is a permanent ailment I'm afraid. Let him go, then he can find someone who likes the stuff that makes you and me cringe!

It's actually quite sweet. Would you prefer he sent you a dick pic?

Basically this. He's made an effort to show support in a way that took some thought. I mean, he shouldn't give up the day job or anything, but he's given it a damn sight more thought than a thumbs up emoji.

I think that your reaction says more about you than it does about him. I agree that it sounds like you've got the ick.

And it's nice to see some support on MN for a change. There are too many threads about partners that are unsupportive or ambivalent to the interests of their husbands/wives.

I'm just saying that by making a man feel like being nice is a bad thing she wouldn't be doing herself any favours.

I don't think it's nice. I think it oozes of male entitlement. It's like that song that goes 'when I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change'. Gee, thanks. You scrutinised my face and decided that it's good enough for you and now I have to be grateful.

On the other hand, I'm a massive overthinker and he could just be a bit shit at expressing himself.

And the word lady is a bit 🤮.

This is a truly out of order showing from him and such a big red flag. He's clearly not to your standard and we all seem to understand that you need to speak with him ASAP and end the relationship.

@PapayaCoconut I get what you're saying, and I said initially I thought it was weird for different reasons to you, but OP is insisting he was being nice, so I just don't think that, if she believes he's being nice, that it's fair to then 'lightheartedly' mock him for it. I think that just sounds mean.

It is very cringey and whilst trying to be supportive, it's doing so in a way that actually stresses how wonderful 'he' is. Added to his earlier comment about not being handsome but having high standards, I'd walk slowly away. It's all too needy and manipulative.

I'd tell him to fuck off and patronise someone else.

Yeah... you've got the ick and no wonder! I had an ex like that. Hope this one isn't as objectifying as my ex was.

Also OP, it's very recognisable so maybe ask MN to edit it or you're going to be on the home page of the Daily Mail