To not like this text message?

[Fidgetwonkam]

How would you feel if you received this message from your boyfriend/partner?

I had mentioned that I wanted to start again with my hobby that I haven’t done for a long time (well before I met him)

I know it was sent with good intentions but I just don’t like it. Aibu?

How would it make you feel to get a text like that?

[POST EDITED BY MNHQ TO REMOVE TEXT]

Isn't he trying to be encouraging?
Jeez poor chap.

""I sometimes want ask him if he has some kind of text book on ‘How to treat a lady!’ 🤣"
"That's worrying combined with his attitude towards 'not just a pretty face'"

""he has incredibly high standards"

Agreed. There are some red flags here. I'd trust your initial gut reaction to the poem. I don't think you can ask him to be less gushing but you can question the sentiment in a rational way.

Tell him you appreciate his support for your hobby but that you feel uncomfortable with the idea of how much it matters to him. You are your own person and you'll decide whether to do your hobby or not to suit you. See if he gets it or flags up more signalsn.

Surely it's a play on need/KNEAD - don't potters knead clay?

I think it's a clumsy attempt to be supportive with some cheesy plays on words loosely related to pottery - I don't see MN's beloved "red flags" everywhere

But if you don't like it, you don't like it - tbh once you are at the stage of dissecting texts to see "what they really mean" the writing is on the wall already...

Honestly this try too hard overly wordy gushy shit would (and has) put me right off, I can see why you don’t like it, and I agree that there are some red flags in there.

I once was dating a guy for three weeks. I applied for another job - he text me ‘I support you either way’
Erm no. I don’t need you to ‘support’ me - we’ve been shagging for theee weeks, we’re not married.

I replied ‘haha ok’ to him last night because I just didn’t know how to respond!

@Mooey89 that would piss me off.

@Mooey89

I TOTALLY get that, I think it's the assumption of damsel in distress thing maybe?

It's hard to explain because until you're seeing someone who does the things it just sounds petty but at the time it's really jarring!

I told my ex in passing (in a message) that I had a bit of a shit day and he replied along the lines of "you're so strong, you can get through anything". So OTT!

Everything so earnest and dramatic and him swooping in when nothing was really happening made everything feel like I was a character in his play and his role was to be adoring but actually I could have been any woman.

Once I was speaking and he said "sorry I didn't listen to any of that because I was looking at you thinking how beautiful you are." I had been talking about feminism.

@YasssKween it’s exactly that! I don’t need you to swoop in on your white horse and rescue me - I’m not a damsel in distress in your rom com!

Wtf? What text?

Once again feel like I'm in the twilight zone

It's actually quite sweet. Would you prefer he sent you a dick pic?

Why are cringy poem or dick pic the only options ? - how about responding with 'great - that sounds fun' or something similar when someone says they are taking up a hobby.

Very low standards women are expected to have if every bit of weirdness and creepiness from men is met with the response that we should be grateful he didn't send a dick pic.

I removed the text because the Daily Fail was mentioned!

Why are cringy poem or dick pic the only options ? - how about responding with 'great - that sounds fun' or something similar when someone says they are taking up a hobby. Very low standards women are expected to have if every bit of weirdness and creepiness from men is met with the response that we should be grateful he didn't send a dick pic.

What @KurriKurri said - exactly!

So from my point of view- I've no idea sorry

OP - AIBU to not like this text message?

OP - removes text message from post

🤔

Tbf OP there probably aren't that many people who have had pottery themed poems from boyfriends in the last 48 hours so removing the wording of the poem won't have made that much difference 😂

I think there's a tendency in MN for people to say something is either lovely or a red flag and nothing in between.

Like I said in my post before, my ex was overly earnest and it made me cringe. He wasn't evil or an arsehole, it just wasn't for me at all so I ended it.

Something doesn't have to be a red flag and be wrong for it to be wrong for you.

The ick doesn't go away I'm afraid!

OP what was his initial response when you mentioned it? Maybe in his drunken brain he thought he wasn't supportive enough.

Has he messaged you today? If he wakes up and says "wtf was that I sent to you last night🤣" you're safe.

@CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt there were 12 hours of replies before I removed it!

You may as well remove the whole thread now that people who haven't seen the text have no idea what was said

Once I was speaking and he said "sorry I didn't listen to any of that because I was looking at you thinking how beautiful you are." I had been talking about feminism.

That made me laugh!! What an ass!!

This makes no sense at all now the text has gone.

I'm so confused, where is the text?

He sounds insecure about you being more attractive than him. He’s awkwardly telling you that you mean more to him than just your looks- maybe because your looks are what other men might compliment you on. He’s also told you that he loves your looks (high standards- pretty face).

If he irritates you, then have a think, but some of the posts about his supposed character flaws are bonkers and paranoid!

@Mooey89 am I dating your ex? 😂

@SproutMuncher @ruby2020
If you look at my poem - the poem not the haiku - the work it was inspired by is above (at stupid o'clock this morning) page 6/ 2.19
OP you'd be better off having whole thread removed than swiss cheesing it.