To not like this text message?

[Fidgetwonkam]

How would you feel if you received this message from your boyfriend/partner?

I had mentioned that I wanted to start again with my hobby that I haven’t done for a long time (well before I met him)

I know it was sent with good intentions but I just don’t like it. Aibu?

How would it make you feel to get a text like that?

[POST EDITED BY MNHQ TO REMOVE TEXT]

Thank you everyone. You’ve given me a bit of clarity! I thought it was just being irritable!

He's just drunkenly showing his support for your creative endeavours.

I think it is fucking hilarious 😂
Was he drunk? What does he want you to throw?

He told me/admitted the other day, that he knows he’s not the world’s most good looking man but he has incredibly high standards.

This seems like negging, like you'll have to work hard to keep his interest. I don't think he's really seeing you as an equal, seems more like he feels he's doing you a favour by dating you.

I think it’s sweet! Supportive & a bit silly, I would have laughed.

It’s quite genuinely meant I think?!

Quite sweet really to make a poem in a world of banal emoji crap

I think he is clumsily trying to telling you he likes you for who you are and not the way you look? I mean he’s clearly illiterate so who knows?

A text late at night
A crime against poetry*
My minge has sealed up

*and indeed pottery

@MulticolourMophead I would dump him straight away if I thought that he thought he was doing me a favour being with me!

Fidgetwonkam I think it's just the impression I'm getting based on your descriptions, but something is off about it all as it's prompted you to post. Certainly worth some contemplation about the relationship, I'm sure.

You know not everyone is articulate and clever with words. I actually think he's just trying to be nice. If you don't like his text then I think you should move on. What's the point of being with him if he makes you feel icky? Personally, I think you are being a bit harsh.

Yuck, this would massively turn me off. Personally, I NEED someone who isn't constantly reminding me of their criteria for a relationship and how I am currently meeting them, like some sort of work evaluation. As if you'd start doing your hobby again for this dim man's approval!

I need MUCH more than a good looking lady xx
The fact that you 'potter' and 'make things' is a huge draw for me X
I need you 'pot' xx
I do need you to pot and I need you to throw x
I see what's inside you you know
.....................................................................................................................

When reading aloud your sad verse
I am struggling with which I find worse
It makes my eyes bleed
How many xx you need
But the whole thing belongs in a hearse
I am sorry I just want to gag
That first line is a bloody red flag
But the complete lack of scanning
And Ghost that you're stanning
Is making me reach for a fag
I really did like you a lot
But my name's FidgetWonkam not Pot
My detector for bull
Is totally full
It goes off when I read of such rot
You see what's inside me oh please
Am I meant to go weak at the knees?
I don't go in for such goo
It's not me but it's you
Who is drowning in godawful cheese

I'm here all week, try the fondue

No no no no! Way too wanky. Ditch immediately

At first I laughed my head off, at the sheer ridiculousness of it. Throw what?!!

But actually it is not funny, it is really really cringey!!! And he has incredibly high standards?! wHAT ?! [ angry] That's a fucked up thing to say to any woman. He sounds like a wee creep and the drink has brought it out.

I think by "throw" he means throw clay on the wheel.

OP if he is not your cup of tea, fair enough. He will be for someone else. There is a lid for every pot, after all.

No, no to the incredibly high standards comment! I was running, competing, heavy lifting when met ex. I then fell ill... He actually said 'well you didn't have any cellulite when we got together, and you've put on unattractive weight with your medication), all with a very accusatory tone! Fuck that fact he'd developed a massive bald patch and moobs (which I'd obviously not bitched about!). You are who you are and he likes that or doesn't.

Reply
^I need to throw...up, into a cup,
or maybe a pot,
your poem was not hot,
the words oozed with cringe,
it closed up me minge.
You've channeled a rom-com,
it made me vom vom!
Tomorrow your face will be red,
As you recall what you've said,
Mortification will creep ,
As you wake from your sleep,
And remember the dire verse,
You'll feel even worse!
Never drink while you rhyme,
It's a deplorable crime^

I think he just irritates you generally.

Have you heard the expression ‘this is about that’? It means the issue isn’t really the thing - it’s the thing behind the thing.

So in this case the poem isn’t really the issue - it’s all the feelings and emotions that it provokes that is what you need to reflect on.

The whole text is pretty patronising actually. It's almost giving the impression that women don't usually have hobbies or something? Like, just why even type any of those words he's typed? It's just weird.

A normal sort of response would be 'That's brilliant, I'm so glad you're taking up pottery again, can't wait to see what you create' or words to that effect.

By saying he has high standards that does make me think OP wouldn't be able to gain a little weight or not wear make up etc without him getting pissed off.

I don’t think you are well suited.

You are too serious for him.

He made a light hearted silly attempt at being sweet and you don’t understand that type of behaviour.

No one is at fault, you just are not very compatible.

I think you're uneasy because he''s patronising you. Whatever hobby you choose to do is for yourself, not so he can feel good because you're doing it.

I wouldn't like the 'I need MUCH more than a good looking lady!'.... That's crap tbh! What if you replied 'I need MUCH more than a man over 6'3, with a big dick!'...would he still be dishing out the generic comments?

He sends me wordy gushing texts all the time. It’s just his way. It’s not mine though.

So it's NOT a surprise to receive something like the OP?

"i feel like I can’t say I don’t like it though because that’s like me trying to change him? And I can’t mould him into what I want?"

It doesn't sound like he understands everyday sexism. Or how men internalise entitlement. Sometimes it's got to be explained.

"I sometimes want ask him if he has some kind of text book on ‘How to treat a lady!’ 🤣"
That's worrying combined with his attitude towards 'not just a pretty face'.

"he has incredibly high standards"

It's all about him, isn't it? Does he see women as equal, valid people? It doesn't sound like.

He supports you doing your hobby, because he needs you to be more to fulfil his high standards.

Keep an eye on those red flags.