To never clean my house

[DramasticChanges]

I know everyone hates cleaning but I loathe cleaning. Every bit of my body prickles when I think about trying to do housework, I don't know where to start, I feel like what's the point with two under fives?
We have guests coming over tomorrow so I'm going to have to clean today. I just can't face it. The house feels too messy, like a lost cause. Usually dp cleans on his days off whilst I take the kids out for the day but he's working. I don't think I've cleaned in about six months (apart from washing up and laundry.)
The irony is that I used to be a domestic cleaner and I was really, really good, very thorough. It's different with my own house, there's too many other things I could be doing. Right now I want to leave and go watch the Chinese New Year parade in town and cancel our guests tomorrow. I know that's no way to live but that's how I feel.

No we can't afford a cleaner (and I don't feel it's fair given the shittiness of our house!)

It has to be done OP. Is your DP happy to be the only one who cleans? I imagine that might lead to resentment over time.

I know it can be overwhelming and feel a bit pointless with young DC (I have a two and three year old so I do understand!) but take it one step at a time. Are you home a lot or do you work full time? I found The organized mum method good for tackling my house a little bit every day and keep on top of things - look it up.

Why can’t you clean your own house?

If your not prepared to clean, then you shouldn't have had children.

And yes, I'd say the same to a man. Live how you want to, but it's unfair to inflict it on children.

You do know that most people don’t actually like cleaning but it’s a job that has to be done unless you like living like an animal.

@CapnSquirrel I work almost full time but i do all the school drop off and pick ups. I've offered to swap but dp says staying and cleaner is easier than a day at soft play with our two very energetic dcs!

You kinda just need to get on with it..

Six months with no cleaning?

@AuntieMarys obviously my dp has been cleaning in that time.

I can’t bear cleaning. I do do it of course as I don’t want to live in a shithole but it bores me to fucking tears. I think these daft women who pee their pants over the likes of Mrs Hinch have something wrong with them

@ClappyFlappy yes!!!! Zoflora is just fragranced disinfectant, get over it!

Sounds like you're overwhelmed OP. Maybe a little bit down too if you feel "what's the point". Can you just limit the cleaning today to the places your guests will be?

I'm about to do my own cleaning - I hate it too! I put on music, and know that when done, it will look good for a day or two at least.

Two under 5 and you do no housework? Either your husband is a saint or you're all cleaner than you think.

Do you feel this could be a sign of something bigger or is it honestly just cleaning? Do you have motivation for personal care?

I'd either a) stop being lazy, sit down with DH and share out the work fairly (taking into account everyone's working hours etc) and look for a system that suits you, TOMM or Flylady.

Or b) if this might be sign of something bigger, talk to DH, see my gp and see if there's anything else going on. Depression doesn't always feel like we'd expect it too and there's no shame in needing help.

Fwiw I've got 3 kids, 2 are under 5 and I work to a mix of TOMM and a professional cleaning checklist. All nice little manageable chunks. We're not spotless but who is with little ones 😂

@DDIJ I LOVED cleaning other people's homes, because it was spotless when I left I never had to see it be undone in seconds! I wasn't always like this honest!

I loathe cleaning too. I probably loathe it more than living in a slightly grubby house tbh.

But as much as I hate it, I couldn't inflict a dirty house on my dc. He deserves better than that and so does yours.

We all have to do shit we don't like, in the kindest possible way, crack on op and get the mop out. It won't turn you into cinderalla but you're dc will have somewhere hygienic to live.

I hate it too OP.

It feels like a completely thankless and never-ending task with 3 DC. But it has to be done, so I just get on with it. I work part time though so it's easier to get on top of it. Don't even want to imagine the state of things if I worked full time

How dirty are we talking here @DramasticChanges? Presumably the bigger stuff? Assuming you do the 'normal' regular stuff of changing beds, bathrooms, kitchen etc what do you actually mean?

I don't love it either, but I don't love how the house is when it's not clean. I clean because I want us to live in a nice environment and, to be brutal, if you haven't cleaned in 6 months then your house must be pretty dirty. Surely you don't think it's ok to have your DCs live in a dirty environment?

Can you just do a bit, say one room and then do something you enjoy?
When we have guests I’ll make a list of what needs doing and DH, DS and I all muck in to get it done. Just do what needs doing for your guests today, then make a plan to do the rest in the next couple of days. Little and often works better than trying to climb a mountain all in one go.

I take back my lazy comment, if you and DH have traded off chores (softplay for cleaning) then that's fair enough if everyone's had a say.

Maybe an extra 30 mins a day will tip things over from shittiness to guest ready at short notice?

I know I'm being unreasonable. I don't think I have depression but what I do most weekends is get up, shower, make breakfast, we all get up and vacate the house all day. Then the housework doesn't bother me as I'm not in the house. I think part of it is wanting to spend as much time having 'experiences' with the dcs as possible and part is pure escapism.

Its not nice to grow up surrounded by mess and dirt. It's also not fair to leave the cleaning to one person.

I don't think anyone loves cleaning.

Even those who profess to loving it, I'm sure actually just love the results rather than the actual act of cleaning.

Is your house cluttered? That makes cleaning much harder.

I hate mess and dirt more than I hate cleaning. I found that maintaining a clean and tidy house takes a hell of a lot less time than leaving it go messy, dusty and generally dirty.

So cleaning first thing in the morning during the week before leaving for work, keeping things tidy and doing a quick wizz round before bed means I never have to tidy up for visitors and my weekends are free of chores.

Cleaning and tidying is too boring to waste mental space about it, if you do it first thing, you can forget about it for the rest of the day and enjoy a nice home.

Divide and conquer!

1. Where are your guests likely to see in your house?
2. Start with tidying up all clothes, toys, general items lying around.
3. I would then wipe down all surface
4. Clean the kitchen
5. Hoover and mop

While you are doing this put on a load or two of washing.

Keep going and praise yourself for the job you are doing!

Have your DC ever seen their home like you left your client’s houses? They obviously won’t keep it clean but they might keep it a little tidier if they see it looks nice if they put away toys (or maybe not!)