To never clean my house

[DramasticChanges]

I know everyone hates cleaning but I loathe cleaning. Every bit of my body prickles when I think about trying to do housework, I don't know where to start, I feel like what's the point with two under fives?
We have guests coming over tomorrow so I'm going to have to clean today. I just can't face it. The house feels too messy, like a lost cause. Usually dp cleans on his days off whilst I take the kids out for the day but he's working. I don't think I've cleaned in about six months (apart from washing up and laundry.)
The irony is that I used to be a domestic cleaner and I was really, really good, very thorough. It's different with my own house, there's too many other things I could be doing. Right now I want to leave and go watch the Chinese New Year parade in town and cancel our guests tomorrow. I know that's no way to live but that's how I feel.

No we can't afford a cleaner (and I don't feel it's fair given the shittiness of our house!)

I spent hours yesterday catching up on the cleaning and ironing. Interspersed with bouts of mumsnet. It's not fun but needs must.

* but they don't have any happy memories based on me keeping the house clean and tidy*

Ridiculous. It’s about creating a clean tidy comfortable environment for your children - that they also feel happy to bring back friends to.

Excuse excuse excuse.

Same as too busy because taking the children on experiences.
Excuse excuse excuse

My friend hates cleaning. I don't know how her dh puts up with it. It's not good for
Anyone's health. I dread going there. You have to move things out of the way before you can even get to the toilet it's awful esp they know i suffer with Ibs. Do you really want someone thinking that of you?

My family are all messy. No amount of nagging or bribery in the kids cases has helped. I went on strike and guess what? My house is currently a scruffy shit tip. I have no idea where to start and have just given up. My kids are 11 and 13 and couldn't give a toss about it.

@whydoihavetogothroughsomuch why does her dh just start cleaning up after himself? Maybe she needs help and less judgement?

Pp who said

but they don't have any happy memories based on me keeping the house clean and tidy*

You do realise dc grow up right? And they will remember living in mess. Also a clean cutter free home is good for mental health and teaches dc organisation. *

Op I think your overwhelmed and are lacking motivation for cleaning as your doing so much not that your lazy

most weekends is get up, shower, make breakfast, we all get up and vacate the house all day. Then the housework doesn't bother me as I'm not in the house. I think part of it is wanting to spend as much time having 'experiences' with the dcs as possible and part is pure escapism

I did this everyday.
Unbeknown to me, at the time I was suffering from a slipped disc (which wasn’t diagnosed for 7 years). I was in constant pain and I really couldn’t tidy up.

I would have to get down on my hands and knees to pick something up off the floor and getting up was sometimes very difficult my back would sometimes lock and I was in even more pain

I used to take mine who were little (quite close together in age) out everyday.

Dd and Ds said they can’t remember anything much, occasionally get flashes of being on a ride in LegoLand or time we went to a steam museum open day or other random things we did. All they know is they had a blast.

I had a mother who tried to keep our house spotless but never finished cleaning to actually go anywhere

My memories are of being very bored polishing skirting boards daily because the promise was always there that if she ever managed to finish the cleaning we could go out.

It never was ever clean enough

I hate cleaning so I have a cleaner. If both you and your DH work I don’t believe you can’t budget for some weekly cleaning.

Ditch the Sky sports, cut down on cinema, alcohol and takeaways (or whatever) and you’ve got a weekly cleaner.

There is a big difference between clean and tidy. I can't remember the last time I cleaned the skirting boards, but any room in my house can be tidied in 10 minutes.

Op I’m with you. Overwhelmed by the amount I need to do here. Mines mostly clutter. Plus a garage full of belongings. My home is clean- toilet, bathroom, kitchen, floors cleaned etc but there’s just so much disorder to deal with. You’ve all inspired me though. I’ll try to tackle something this evening. I also used to be a cleaner. It’s easier for other people. I’ll try for the children’s sake though.

Can you maybe do an hour a day? I agree with DC difficult but necessary!

I hate to think how a bathroom that hasn’t been cleaned for six months looks like 🤢 “ Experiences with your DC?” maybe try to set an example first , you’ll get them sick by washing them in filth 👎

Apart from dishes and laundry it only takes 2 to 3 hours per week to keep the average 3 bedroom house clean. I know this because we have a cleaner and never do any general cleaning between her visits. If she has to miss a week then I just clean the sink and loo, sweep the kitchen floor and hoover downstairs - 1 hour max.

If the house is depressing you then it's obvious your bloke needs a hand. Kids that grow up in a messy house remember it when older and they're not usually pleasent memories.

We all have to do things we hate as an adult.

I too loathe cleaning and don't do that much of it! You'd be surprised how little you can get away with!

It doesn't matter who is usually in charge of a chore or another, but it's ridiculous that the other adult doesn't pick up the work when needed.

I agree. One of DHs 'jobs' is to clean up after the dog in the garden. He's working all day today do I'll do it instead - I'm not going to leave a pile of shit in my garden just because he's not here.

@DramasticChanges sorry, I missed that your DH cleans. Do you mean that he enjoys it and you don't do anything to help? If so and you're both happy with the arrangement I wouldn't worry too much, but I do think you need to step up if he's not able to do it for any reason.

I think there's a happy medium between the two extremes. I have a relative with similar aged kids, immaculate house, honestly Instagram ready all the time. She has white carpets and soft grey sofas! I notice there are very few times they actually go anywhere. The kids spend a lot of time on the tablet. I guess she judges me too, but I think I'd rather be the muddy kids, multiple wellies by the front door, house full of laughter type.

most weekends is get up, shower, make breakfast, we all get up and vacate the house all day.

you can do both. It doesn't have to be a choice between a clean and tidy house OR days out and weekends away with the kids.
If you keep on top of the boring chores, by doing a little bit every day of the week, it takes no time to get everything ready and and leave. Plus you come back to a welcoming home.

I have no opinion on other people' mess, I really don't care, I just honestly cannot understand why you would make your life unpleasant, not happy in your own home and ashamed of it that you have to frantically clean for guests. Your family is the most important, you are the ones spending the most time at home, why would you only bother to make it as you like it for guests?

Either you are proud and happy at home, and who cares what other people think. Or you are embarrassed and unhappy, so why do you put up with it?

but I think I'd rather be the muddy kids, multiple wellies by the front door, house full of laughter type.

you can have that in a welcoming home. If you need to start a thread about cleaning, you are not that happy though, that's the point.

The only secret is to have it organised, with enough storage very easily accessible and maintain it regularly. If people want to iron their tea towel, why not, but you don't need to go that far to have a "guests ready" home.

@Pompei36 she hasn't said it hasn't been cleaned for 6 months - she has said her dp does it. This has been repeated many times on the thread.

I kind of understand have an oven that’s unclean for a little while or toys on the floor in the daytime, but leaving things easily sorted until the next day - and then not wanting to do it - is pure laziness.
Wine bottles are easy enough to put in the recycling, get a hamper and get the children to put fancy dress outfits and toys in there for you sort when you have time (can be bothered) and look for a cheap dishwasher to help with the dishes.
All I do each day is a quick hoover, steam mop for laminated and tiles surface, dishes in and out of the dishwasher, wipe the side after I’ve used it, rearrange the throw on the settee, wipe the table down where we’ve eaten, and spray the bathroom sink and loo in the evening so that nothing get too grimy. Takes 20 mins max.
Weekly we do other things too but DH and I share those. If you tidy things away after you’ve finished with them, then you’ll find life is made easily and tidier.

What's the minimum anyone can get away with? Weekly?

Hoovering
Cleaning bathroom and loo.

I recon I could get that done in 1 hour?

but I think I'd rather be the muddy kids, multiple wellies by the front door, house full of laughter type.

You know you can have both?

It's real life, not Instagram. And I know this will sound horrible but I think it's true, that if you did a bit more cleaning to help, then maybe your DH could spend less time cleaning and be more part of these muddy wellie activities.

but they don't have any happy memories based on me keeping the house clean and tidy

I have happy memories of the house I grew up in. Everything was clean and tidy, not immaculate show-home but nice. I would definitely not ace wanted to grow up in a messy house that was a bit dirty!