To never clean my house

[DramasticChanges]

I know everyone hates cleaning but I loathe cleaning. Every bit of my body prickles when I think about trying to do housework, I don't know where to start, I feel like what's the point with two under fives?
We have guests coming over tomorrow so I'm going to have to clean today. I just can't face it. The house feels too messy, like a lost cause. Usually dp cleans on his days off whilst I take the kids out for the day but he's working. I don't think I've cleaned in about six months (apart from washing up and laundry.)
The irony is that I used to be a domestic cleaner and I was really, really good, very thorough. It's different with my own house, there's too many other things I could be doing. Right now I want to leave and go watch the Chinese New Year parade in town and cancel our guests tomorrow. I know that's no way to live but that's how I feel.

No we can't afford a cleaner (and I don't feel it's fair given the shittiness of our house!)

I hate cleaning so I have a cleaner, problem solved.

If your partner enjoys cleaning I don’t see the problem.

I used to love cleaning my house, not anymore. I just think it's a bloody waste of time.

I still need to dust and wash here and there but I have developed some strategies with the help of technology...

1. Invested in a Rooma i7 vacuum cleaner. Best thing since slice bread, not only vacuums carpets and cleans floors, it does it from a simple tap on your phone.
2. It takes me 1 min. to have the cleanest and sparkling shower screen with no scum build up. Two or three times a week while having a shower I give them a sponge with domestos. It takes me literally a minute and my shower screen is spotless.
3. I invested a bit of money in a self cleaning oven and a miele induction cooktop. Best money I could spent. After two years the cooktop looks brand new, I only spray it with a good anti degreaser and then wipe it. Same with the oven, just wipe it.

I could go on but all I'm trying to say is that while you or your husband will still have tidy up, dust and clean toilets, technology can go a long way helping you making cleaning easier.

This makes me shudder a bit. Who actually enjoys cleaning? I definitely don’t enjoy it but it has to be done. I couldn’t bear to live in an untidy and unclean environment, i do little and often so it doesn’t feel too overwhelming. I reward myself with breaks too (sounds ridiculous but it works for me) for example, ok I’ll dust and polish all surfaces downstairs then sit down with a coffee before I hoover.

Self cleaning oven still needs cleaning though...

You work full time plus look after kids, do laundry, and do washing up? I see no problem with your DP doing all the cleaning. In fact I'd expect it. No reason to take on more work for yourself.

Just do it. Its not worth the carpet beetles, moths, mould/fungus or rodents. You will get other unpleasant visitors if you don't take action

Ahh I really need to clean my oven today, will be so pleased once it’s done though.

perosnally I love cleaning to podcasts and I love ironing to The Real Hiousewives of Beverly Hills.

I have started to become mroe efficent and better at cleaning using the above tools. I am out of the house at 7 in the monring and home by 7 at night. So i am exhausted at the wekeend and would rather have experiences also, but cleaning is just one of those things that has to happen. I find if I spend 30 minutes a day then the weekends I spend another couple of hours total and it works out fine.

"My dp does a full house clean on Tuesdays and Sundays."

That's about 2x as often as most homes get a full clean. You're fine OP. You've got a situation that suits everyone.

My DH is the same - will quite happily cook and clean and do the laundary and leave me to organise everything with the baby / money etc - I work full time too. If this arrangement works and your house is clean then just keep going. You will have plenty of martyrs on MN saying they do everything but that isn’t even remotely healthy.

Self cleaning oven still needs cleaning though...

It does. But is much easier to just wipe than spray with a strong chemical degreaser and lots of elbow work. Wiping takes two minutes, cleaning oven with degreaser takes over 2 hours. And plenty of nasty fumes.

I don't think there's anything healthy about one adult - doesn't matter if it's wife or husband - stuck home cleaning the house whilst the other spends the day out with the kids.

Before - or after - a holiday, or preparing for a move, fair enough.
On a regular basis, it's sad. Who prefers a duster or being stuck in the kitchen to spending time with their kids?

I am all for a clean and tidy house, but organised in a way your weekends are free.

How old are your kids? Can they help out? Kids usually like helping.

@GrapefruitGin - Best thing I’ve ever bought for my over is the cleaner I see all over social media, Koh. My oven door was horrible and stained though the inside was clean and it took 5-10 mins to get it sparkling. In fact it works for pretty much everything.
Also amazing for cleaning extractor fam hoods.

*fan

If you won't clean your house then you shouldn't have visitors over and you shouldn't expect your children to live in squalor.

Spent 4 hours cleaning the bathroom yesterday and clearing out the bathroom cupboard. 4 Hours!!!

Hate housework because it's so tedious and because I've always got other stuff I need to be doing. (Work from home)

I do admit to popping back in there a few times after it was finished though and admiring the gleaming taps and spotless bath!

I find listening to audiobooks relieves the boredom a lot.

I hate cleaning so what I do is put on netflix, amazon bbc i player you tube, and listen to something old I have seen before to clean. This morning was windows and glass doors so it was old episodes of Monk.
OH moans about the background noise, well stuff him.

If I have a big clean the Mamma Mia album is a real motivator I kind of dance, sing badly whilst doing that.

I should add I blagged my family for a mini speaker and ear buds so that I can "Stream while you work" apologies to the seven dwarfs and Disney..

Well OP have you got stuck in and started?

4 hours cleaning a bathroom? How big is your bathroom? I could spend up to 30 mins in my small bathroom, but I've cleaned ones 2/3X bigger than mine in about 1 hour

How old are your kids? Can they help out? Kids usually like helping.

And then the become teenagers and then the only help they give is turning the house into a shit pit!

I'm not too bad at cleaning. Tidying is my nemisis

No one I know likes cleaning their own house but just crack on with it OP.

Get a cleaner OP. Don't leave it all to your DP.

I know Sloth. I couldn't believe it either! Haha
Lots of tongue and groove painted wooden panelling that gets really manky. Big wooden cupboard full of clutter that had to be cleaned and sorted out. Wooden venetian blinds (Aaaaargh!) and so on...