To never clean my house

[DramasticChanges]

I know everyone hates cleaning but I loathe cleaning. Every bit of my body prickles when I think about trying to do housework, I don't know where to start, I feel like what's the point with two under fives?
We have guests coming over tomorrow so I'm going to have to clean today. I just can't face it. The house feels too messy, like a lost cause. Usually dp cleans on his days off whilst I take the kids out for the day but he's working. I don't think I've cleaned in about six months (apart from washing up and laundry.)
The irony is that I used to be a domestic cleaner and I was really, really good, very thorough. It's different with my own house, there's too many other things I could be doing. Right now I want to leave and go watch the Chinese New Year parade in town and cancel our guests tomorrow. I know that's no way to live but that's how I feel.

No we can't afford a cleaner (and I don't feel it's fair given the shittiness of our house!)

I hate cleaning too and now do a room a day.

The lots done, skirting boards hoovered, decluttered polished etc. Probably takes 20 minutes max (( I set a timer ))

We don't have loads of tat which helps. But for the first time ever I'd say my house actually looks and smells clean all the time.

This seems odd to me as it’s normal to not like cleaning. I hate it but don’t have a dh to do it all so just get on with it. It’s relentless as I have 4 under 8. It’s normal to not like cleaning, it’s not normal to not do any cos you don’t like it

I lose interest with cleaning / tidying after about an hour so I always stop at the point where I can get away with saying "Excuse the mess" if somebody drops in unexpectedly. Apart from doing dishes and laundry I do try to tackle one small job a day. Today it was clearing junk off a coffee table.

I din’t enjoy cleaning and tidying but it has to be done,

I also have lots of childhood memories of other people’s grimy homes (not my own fortunately). When I was very little (2 or 3) I stayed with a relative who’s toilet was coated with brown stained limescale and I can still remember it so vividly 40 years later!!!

I think I was too quick to comment as well as didn’t realised you said your DP cleans in his days off -so I do apologise for my previous comment.
Although he cleans you state the house is still messy and wouldn’t know where to start- that means your DP needs help, a house shouldn’t be this bad if a weekly clean is not done
Happy children doesn’t mean only fun -means responsabilities as well, do they clean up after themselves? do they make beds and tidy their toys etc? if not, you might want to implement that.
There is a happy medium at the too extremes like you said but in your case she’s too much and you’re too little so you still need to find that medium
Muddy wellies and laughter-all great-but the kids are growing, surely you don’t want them to feel embarrassed when having friends around etc because of all the mess, also you need to set up an example , so they can follow as they turn into adults

Listen to ‘A slob comes clean’ podcast whilst you clean. Really helped me when I felt very overwhelmed a few years back and I still listen now.

The best way to complete jobs you don't want to do, is to just start doing them.

Cleaning has to be done and that's the end of it. It doesn't matter whether you like it or not or whether you have something more interesting you can be doing, it has to be done.
It's important for mental and physical health.

I don't think you should be leaving all of the cleaning to DP and I think he should also have some days out with the children or all of you together.

Just get on with it. I put something on netflix on the laptop and carry the laptop from room to room. It does help.
I think routines are important too - I put the kettle on in the mornings and can have the dishwasher unloaded before it boils.
I wipe the tops down before starting to cook and make sure the dishwasher is empty so that used equipment can go straight in. I'll prepare all of the food and then wipe all of the tops down again and clean anything else in the kitchen that catches my eye while the food is cooking - eg. sauce simmering/rice cooking.
There's no need for a kitchen to get into a shit tip that needs a lot of work doing on it on your day off.

Honestly!! With DC You need to maintain a basic level of hygiene and cleanliness. You should have self respect too
If you want to keep your DP, don't take him for granted
I have mild cerebral palsy only have use of my right side If I can do it( in chunks) then so can you

I think we need to get some of what each other has OP. I can't stop cleaning and feel I miss out on all the adventures due to it. I don't like to go away out for the day and leave the house a little messy. I'm happy for my DS to make lots of mess but I must clean it all up before we go out which means some things are cut a little short.

If we focus long enough on each others usernames, do you think you can teleport some of your laid backness over to me and I will transport some of my keenness to clean over you? 😁

If you want to keep your DP, don't take him for granted

Oh wow. And there we have it. Reminds me of the #tradwife movement, submit to your man or he'll be tempted by another woman. How about, DP should be grateful that OP looks after the kids, does all school runs, does laundry and dishes AND works full time to supplement his income which doesn't cover all outgoings?

I'm wondering if this is a reverse, but it's interesting that people seem outraged when it's really common for a woman to do most of the housework. Shock that it's a man.