AIBU or is Ex re DD?

[Kellylondon]

I had my nose pierced couple weeks ago, and DD6 wanted her ears done. So we went out and she got her ears done last Saturday. Ex hasn’t seen the dcs for a week as he was away, got back yesterday and he came round to see the kids, and DD went to him and said “ look daddy I got my ears done” he didn’t say anything, and when he left he sent me a ranty text saying “ why did I go behind his back, why did I let her have it done without telling him” etc AIBU? I didn’t really think of telling/asking him as DD is 6 and she wanted to have it done?

I wouldn’t let a 6 year old get their ears pierced and I’d be pretty narked if an ex got them done without it being agreed between us first.

I think that’s something I would discuss with the other parent.

I assume you wouldn’t mind if he had done it first?

I’d be horrified if ex got DD (age 9) ears pierced. They can be all yucky and infected and it’s just totally unnecessary on a kid.

For something like that I would have definitely sought the other parents permission. I would be livid if if I went away for a weekend and came home and dh had got dd’s ear pierced

Yeah that was pretty unreasonable of you tbh. And what's her wanting it got to do with anything - it's her parents that decide stuff like that.

Yabu, I'd be narked.

Of course you're totally unreasonable.

if she asked herself then i don’t see the problem tbh. my son is almost 6 and quite a few of his girl friends have their ears pierced. as long as they ask to have it done and aren’t forced then i think it’s fine.

I'd also have been horrified and angry if I came home and DP had got a childs ears pierced.

Did you mean to type 16. If not Yabu. Absolutely a joint decision.

YABU

My DD had her ears pierced at age 6 and I did not consult my DH and I wouldn’t consult an ex dh on it

Neither of you are.

You are OK with piercings, you gave consent as you are legally able to do. He isn't OK with piercings, he wouldn't have given consent.

My ex their Dad got my daughters ear pierced, I still hate him for it... he become the best dad in the world, as I had said no... you are being very unreasonable....

So you’d be fine with it if he had done it without talking to you?

If I was him I’d be really annoyed that you did it without having a conversation about it first - at 16 she can choose for herself, at 6 both of her parents should get a say. YABU

Sorry but 6 too young he has a valid point.

I wouldn't personally let a 6yro have her ears pierced I do think it's too young. However, in your situation I would discuss with my DC dad but assuming you wouldn't mind if her dad had done the same without consulting you then i suppose everyone has different levels as to what's acceptable without discussion.
However I'm more interested in how she could have them done... assuming she is at school year 1 or 2, schools around here don't generally allow the children to wear earrings, and don't you have to leave them in at least 6 weeks or they will heal up.

Sorry, completely going off on a tangent there.....

In his shoes, I would be really miffed.

Ex has every right to be pissed..like others have said..would you have been ok if the shoe was on other foot and he hadnt consulted you

Yes, 6 is not 16! Or 12 or 13.

If my DH allowed my 6-year-old to get a piercing without even asking my opinion I’d be absolutely livid.

I’d apologise for your error in judgement in not having realised you should have discussed it.

Personally i don't see a problem with it if she wanted them done. Lots of young girls have their ears pierced so YANBU

I’d be annoyed you hadn’t asked. Plus isn’t it an annoying time with school and Pe. Won’t that be an issue? We always said to our kids they needed to be at least 8 if not older. Both are now 10 and 11 and have gone off the idea.

At least he didn’t say anything in front of you.

I wouldn’t do it and would be pissed off if my other half did. 6 is far too young for piercings.

You were completely unreasonable to not check he was ok with it!!!