AIBU or is Ex re DD?

[Kellylondon]

I had my nose pierced couple weeks ago, and DD6 wanted her ears done. So we went out and she got her ears done last Saturday. Ex hasn’t seen the dcs for a week as he was away, got back yesterday and he came round to see the kids, and DD went to him and said “ look daddy I got my ears done” he didn’t say anything, and when he left he sent me a ranty text saying “ why did I go behind his back, why did I let her have it done without telling him” etc AIBU? I didn’t really think of telling/asking him as DD is 6 and she wanted to have it done?

YWBU. I think you should have talked to him first.

It's a joint parental decision so yabu and probably went and did it knowing he wouldnt approve

So you won’t mind if your ex gets your DD’s hair cut on her next visit, will you? After all, she might want it really short and he is the other parent.

Will she stay with him in the next 6 weeks? If so he'll be responsible for cleaning. I think dc should be old enough to clean them before having them so I've said 11 for my dc. I hate it in small dc as they're not old enough to understand the consequences as sometimes it goes wrong. I had a reaction to mine at 19 (after having them pierced at 12) and had them re pierced at 27. I'm very careful re the metal I can wear. This probably makes me more cautious but I also think that at 11 they're less rolling round on the field and climbing at the park so less chance of ripping ears.

you are co parenting with this man this are joint parenting decisions

apologise

Not sure dh has ever found my ears sexy

So she sees her dad shaving his hair off and asks to do hers, so he obliges, as after all it was her decision. You ok with him not discussing that with you first??
Of course yabvvu

YABU, 6 is awfully young.

Yabvu

My husband would be very upset if I got DD's ears pierced so I have to say YABU for not discussing it with him.

YANBU! Why do people act like ear piercings are a big deal? As long as YOU take responsibility for cleaning it and making sure it doesn't get infected, there shouldn't be an issue. Your ex is just being sour

YABU

You haven’t said how you’d feel if he’d done it without you knowing.

How would you honestly feel if it was the other way around?
Also I hope it was a needle and not a gun!

6 is far too young.
YABU not to discuss it with him

I hate to see children this young with piercings. It’s a big step and both parents should be involved in this type of decision .

I went to school with a girl who ripped her ear with her earring. The flaps didn’t heal back together. Poor girl.

YABU to not talk to him first and it's grim and chavvy on a 6 year old

Would you have been annoyed if it was the other way round - if so you have your answer

My second had her ears pierced at that age - but had been asking for a long time - I think I had said when she first asked that she needed to wait 6 months (ish) and if she still wanted them she could have them (I said if she still wanted them by her birthday she could have it done) - so there would have been time to mention it to her dad - and she would have done. I'm not sure from your post whether she had only mentioned it after your own piercing, in which case I would have waited to make sure she did want it.

My eldest (now 19) has never had any piercings - the 17 year old who had hers done when little now has 2 sets in both ears, helix, tragus, industrial, daith, nose and belly button - she had to wait till 16 for the others

Yabvu to get a 6 year old's ears pierced, let alone without discussing it with the other parent.

Just to point out that PPs have not given up to date advice. Twisting them is not recommended anymore. And if they become infected you should not take them out to let them heal, doing that risks the infection becoming trapped like an abscess as the holes close over. Stainless steel or titanium jewellery are the best, don't risk cheap studs which may contain nickel and proper cleaning procedures should be followed daily.

But yes, I wouldn't allow piercings at 6. And I'm heavily pierced myself. DD is 8 and I've refused when she's asked. Her father is absent so it's my decision. If the other parent is involved, at that age he should have been consulted beforehand.

I would be pretty pissed off if my DP did this without consulting me first

I would of told him cos he’s gonna need to clean them.
Yanbu getting a 6yo ears pierced. I do find mn weird about ear piercings! Mine got hers done at 6 and it’s been fine. Everyone I know got their kids ears pierced either as a baby or around 6

My 8 year wanted hers done. I took her to get them done. I didn't ask her dad.

YANBU not to have had a prior discussion with your ex if, as I guess is the case, you are the parent with care. This is a day to day decision, like getting your DDs hair cut, and your ex's input is not required.
But, imho Yabu to have allowed your six year old to have her ears pierced. Six of far too young.