WIBU not to attend this wedding reception after all?

[Teensandfuture]

I was invited by a close aquitance (can't really say she's a friend as we've not been socialising for last few years, she moved away to London from up North long while ago, mostly social media contact only as in liking each other updates) to her wedding reception.
The invite is for me only for the evening reception (I'm not officially coupled up so maybe she didn't want to put me in awkward position hence invite for one).
The wedding is on the other side of country, I need a car (train journey would be long and expensive) and overnight stay.
So the present, new dress, travel expenses, hotel would add up to a round sum.
Despite all that I was actually excited about going.

Now I have a friend that lives nearby (same friendship group) that I knew was invited too. We spoke about it briefly before, assumption was she will drive us there, we'll share hotel room and petrol expenses.
The said friend was single at the time so there was no question about the plus one invite, it just wasn't mentioned.

Anyway with the hen do approaching and wedding month later we spoke again about deciding on plans. She said her car is being written off, she'll be buying new one soon but not sure when. She's not sure how we are going to get there, she mentioned this wedding a while ago to the new guy she's seeing, he was on the fence (very early dating stage). She said the relationship is getting better now so she's more confident in asking him to drive as there(Apparently she has a plus one invite ).
I have suggested yes, can she speak to him, explain the situation, maybe he'll be willing to come with us and drive us there.

Today she came back to me and said yes, he's agreed to go and apparently he was asking why am I going alone, don't I have a partner?
I've said to her,:well I only have an invite for one so that's main reason I'm going alone otherwise I could come up with plus one.

While having a chat, it became apparent her invite is different to mine. Her invite is for ceremony and evening reception (plus one) , mine is for evening reception only.

I can't lie I became upset of different invites and on a practical note how will it work? We're travelling together but I'm waiting in the hotel room until they finish with ceremony?

WIBU not to go at all?

Evening dos are a difficult thing.
I was part of a small close friendship group. There was 5 of us, we worked together and we socialised together and went on holiday together. 2 (including bride) got a job elsewhere but still spent lots of time together.
A week before she got ‘engaged’ she started being odd. Then she got more distant and started hanging out with some old school friends, neither of which she had seen much of for years.
Then we got invites for evening dos only. She had sidelined us because she couldn’t afford her venue.
We still went to her hen do which was the most awkward night I’ve ever sat through.
Relationship never recovered and we have hardly spoken again, especially as she was super rude to us at her frankly crappy wedding.
All of the grooms mates had come to the full day though? I’m sure there is a back story to it all, but the night do invite definitely made us feel not important.

One of the best things about getting older l have found is that you get wiser and have the confidence to say what you think rather than what you think people want you to say...tell the bride sorry but it is too far for an evening out. She should have stipulated it was evening only in the original message to you. In situations like this l just think how much will l be missed? And if not much then l blow it out and enjoy a night with Netflix!

If you dont wanna go I vote for FizzyGreenWaters version of declining!

To all the recent posters, thank you

Particularly the comment about being older and more confident in what you don't want/want.

I definitely feel I've become more assertive (that's how I see it)

And the update is I have a full wedding invite now 😂

I hope you enjoy going even though you both know you weren't originally asked.

Or alternatively they did send the wrong invitation by accident, seems more likely to me given your distance and the fact that mutual friend had an all day invitation and you travelling together was pretty predictable

But no, this is ‘new’ Mumsnet, so of course, you were ‘begging’ & she was lying 🙄 it’s getting more of a butch fest all the time 😢

I hope you all have a lovely time 🌷