AIBU re: lift giving: will she turn up on Friday or not?

[Whiskeychaser]

Second thread.

Thanks for all the support.

Dreading them coming out od school because I can see my dd getting it in the ear from them, and I'm really feeling for her.

Link to first thread to follow in a minute (when I figure it out).

Well done OP. Keep standing firm because she is so out of order and entitled here!

Jesus this woman has got a neck like a jockey's backside.

She's not only a stubborn CF. She's a dumb, illiterate bitch too. Stay strong, OP!

Gobsmacked at the latest updates. The bit about why should she walk after working all week 🤯
You know what she thinks of you now then.

Do you feel bullied by her op? Because i'm getting the vibe.

Just had a thought.....

Is there any chance this woman mistakenly thinks she and her daughter are doing YOU and your DD a favour by going to the club. Have you told her that your DD likes her DD being there? Does she think that she is paying for her DD to go as that makes going to the club easier for your DD?

It is the only thing I can think of that makes any sense of the other mum’s attitude?

I love SandandSea's message. Very cathartic.

Maybe she will surprise you and apologise tonight.

I have had 2 friends in the past behave very badly, one of them was breaking up with her husband and the other had something personal going on. (I didn't know this at the time) I backed off and didn't argue and I was glad afterwards. the friendships never really recovered. I'm still on good terms with them but am not friends.
Dont get too caught up with this. You have made yourself clear, now make like Elsa and let it go. The friendship is over.
I'm glad you stood up for yourself, she doesnt sound like a good friend at all, even before all of this so just step away and smile.

Forget everyone else. You are good.

You sounds lovely OP, and kind to a fault.

Can't believe the cheek of your friend, will be watching with baited breath tomorrow! Stay strong

@Whiskeychaser I think you message about dog sitting sound good. I’d that you won’t be drop packages around anymore.

Gah. So many different aspects of this thread and the way it's being unfolded is making me think of Barbour Jacket/Coatzilla.

But I will try to knock my nascent, knackered-end-of-week cynicism on the head before it gains any traction

The bit that really gets me is why does she have a dog if she doesn't want to walk after work.

That was my first thought Blackbear. Does she have a dog walker?

I would have tried to flip it back on her if I could, texting something along the lines of:
“I understand from DD that your DD was extremely upset & crying at school today as she believes you dont have time for her? Apparently you are happy to “work all week” but wont spare 10minutes of your time to enable her to continue with her activity because you “cant be bothered to walk”? Whilst I can’t believe that any mother would tell their child this, DD seemed very sure so if there is any truth to this then perhaps you could adjust your work/life balance slightly to prioritise your daughter’s club as she obviously feels that she is missing out. Just wanted to give you a friendly heads-up - DD did say she seemed extremely upset” 😁

Your relationship with your DD sounds very positive
I hope CF doesn't turn up tomorrow and make things awkward

Lol, WheresMyChocolate, I'll try not to keep you all waiting as long as last time... I don't want any dc keeling over from starvation on my conscience

Blackbear19, I think it comes down to the fact that she's perfectly fine walking when it's her decision.

DisgruntledGuineaPig, actually I don't think that you're far off the mark there. She's pretty much said this is all my fault and down to me, and that I'm letting her dd down by being awkward, and she wouldn't have let her dd go in the first place if she'd realised she couldn't rely on me.

What a rude unpleasant woman. She's not your friend.

What does she do when your DD is poorly and can't go the club.

Wow Op, I’ve just read through both threads, fuck me is she entitled! A proper CF! Thinks you’re putting her out making her walk after work? Of course you have been taken for a ride. It sounds like maybe your daughter will be happy with the friendship and dependence cooling as well!

And how long did she want to rely on you - 5, 10, 15 years. Or maybe she could just walk to your house - yes I know it's a whole 10 minutes or so there and she has done a days work doncha know. Ffs. And going on what you said earlier about her having no-one else to rely on, maybe there is a good reason for that ie they have all copped on to her CFery. Get out while you can whiskey. This is going to be your best opportunity. This has really opened your eyes and ours - all 200 / 300 of your fans.

If anyone put me in this position I'd just reply 'that's fine, I've been doing you a favour not enforcing a contract'

For my dd's sake, I wish this wasn't actually happening as it's actually her and her friend that will suffer the most from this, but I guess it's certainly a test of my NY resolution to be more assertive/less of a people pleaser.

Her dog has a dog flap so he can get out to go to toilet during the day, and as I've said before she works odd hours so it isn't like it's left alone all day long every day, sometimes it's just a couple of hours between the dd and the mum being at home.
I obviously can't be too specific as I don't really want them to recognise me (as much fun as that might be in my head, I'm sure in real life it would be very difficult).

I know it's a big no no on mumsnet but I think it would be no harm to show this CF both of these threads. It might actually open her eyes as to how ridiculous she is being. I know you won't as you won't as you are way too soft OP but I would definitely be tempted if I was in your shoes. Hopefully this is the last you hear from this headcase.

I agree with the PP who said don’t play games - if she’s there at 6, still take her. You’re the bigger person (and have been very dignified) - stick your what you’ve said.

Jesus she’s actually crackers

Just found these threads @Whiskeychaser. WOW what a piece of work CF is! You are most certainly not BU. Well done on your dignified handling of the situation.

The most surprising aspect of your situation is that 4% of readers voted YABU. Spanner’s.