AIBU re: lift giving: will she turn up on Friday or not?

[Whiskeychaser]

Second thread.

Thanks for all the support.

Dreading them coming out od school because I can see my dd getting it in the ear from them, and I'm really feeling for her.

Link to first thread to follow in a minute (when I figure it out).

Am I the only one thinking I hope they got home ok?

Talk about drama. Why wouldn’t they? They’re not crossing the Gobi Desert.

We have now entered a parallel universe where people are actually trying to argue that OP actually owed this twat and her DD anything and should have spent more do here precious time waiting for an unspecified amount of time to see if the twat fancied treating her like shit all over again.... what is going on???
My head just exploded.

And four weeks notice for a weekly 10 minute walk?
Give me fucking strength...

No. @Howshelaughed Just no.

I'm not saying she should have waited. Im just saying op seems like a completely different person from when she first posted. Possibly all in the back of this thread or maybe she wasn't as meek as she thought she initially was. Your stronger than you thought op? I'm exactly the same as you were at the start of all this. I hate conflict & confrontation but I can hold my own if it affects my child.

Can anyone who is worried about OPs CF write MUG on their head and go out and find their own CF to waste their time?

I'm sure there's a CF who wants a chauffeur and dog sitting going spare about somewhere...

I think you're absolutely right not to respond until later.
Then I might be tempted to simply reply and say it's a shame that the situation has got so heated, but you don't want any further discussion about lifts.
It's up to you how much you say, but there is a saying - least said, soonest mended...

OP, I’ve just caught up on both posts and I really feel for you.

What I don’t understand is why couldn’t the DD get a taxi to yours until the weather and light improve and she can walk? If you’re only 1.5 miles away, then she could have got 2 or 3 taxis to yours for the same price it cost them to get one taxi 10 miles to the club.

Obvs this is redundant now since CF has gone scorched-earth. It’s just so mind-boggling.

Well done OP, you have been patient and kind beyond belief, and this woman is an idiot to lose a lovely friend like you.

Is this the only city in the UK without a public transport system?

Never fails to amaze me how deluded some people are! Well done OP, you’re setting a good example for your DD here, try to remember that when you’re feeling angry!

@LazyDaisey and @Howshelaughed

Please explain to me what is wrong with the OP calling a halt to being mugged off. In truth, to start with the OP offered a perfectly acceptable and fair compromise. The CF didn’t WANT to compromise. On the FREE lift she had been having for 2 years. The OP stood firm (and was very conciliatory and offered the DD to be able to come over earlier). The CF still refused to come to a compromise. Then the CF decided to take a cab to the club on the way there last week. And despite still treating the OP poorly, expected (and took) a lift home.

The CF then contacts the OP and says her child can’t go to the club unless OP caves and goes back to having a shit rushed evening being an unpaid taxi. OP reiterates offer to take CFDD without the drive out of her way. CF moves into silence. OP offers again (yes - again) and is met with more silence. CFDD is a twat to OPDD and OP FINALLY has enough and (after actually waiting past the time she had said in case they wanted the lift) decides that this is the end. CF is already at club and doesn’t make any effort to respond to texts or come out to even say hello with common courtesy. OP drives home.

OP ditched no one. She is not obligated to wait around to be further used by someone who has few friends which I’m sure is no surprise to any of us (apart from you two). I’m not sure if you’re more tolerant than the OP and you’d still be sat outside the club hoping CF will honour her with using her as a free taxi, or if you are the CF or of the same breed.

I am sure CF went to organiser to beg a lift.

Well done OP.

How unpleasant that she's sent the message through her DD and not herself.

Can anyone who is worried about OPs CF write MUG on their head and go out and find their own CF to waste their time?

I'm sure there's a CF who wants a chauffeur and dog sitting going spare about somewhere...
...........

😂😂

💐🍷

The reason I suggested 4 weeks was she might not have felt so uncomfortable about doing it.

In reality, the friend would have still done fuck all to find a solution and laid on the guilt when the time came. Because she's not a reasonable person.

The mum couldn't be bothered walking 15 mins to OP's house. Bull shit is she walking home.

How unpleasant that she's sent the message through her DD and not herself

I agree - CF definitely knew your text had arrived.. surely one of the first things you'd do if you honestly expected a lift would be to check for a message. She has just left it on 'unread' and used her DD, like she has all week. I think you are well shot of her, OP, even though I'm sure it hurts.

Whiskey i hope you are ok and able to settle, you must be so hurt and feel abused by what she has done. 2 + years of what you though was friendship has come to an end.

Im hoping that the DD doesn't give your DD any grief but I'd give the school the heads up for them to be on the lookout for any trouble, low level bullying.

You and DD deserve better friends than this duo. I'd hope that this is the end of it but i fear it isn't.

Yet the mum knew you weren't having coffee - for all she knew you'd driven off anyway. Why didn't she contact you? She seems to think you are her taxi driver and she doesn't even have to be polite to you.

^^
Exactly. She hadn’t even seen you and was planning a lift.
She’s been a classic CF and making you feel like you are the one in the wrong.

But we don’t know that they mother sent that message through the DD
The other girl is 14 or 15. Which makes her the prime age to (a) send a stroppy and self-centred message, b) refuse to be her mother’s puppet and do her bidding, and (c) not discuss the messages she sends with her mum. The text could have been entirely her own doing.

Anyway it seems the other mother has moved on in terms of not responding and taking her daughter herself. She’s disengaged. It’s the OP who’s been continuing it by sending repeated texts that have gone unanswered labouring her (obviously valid) point.

No need for her and her daughter to further get into text wars with another mother-daughter duo.

Stayed up well past my bedtime and read both threads. OP, you're my god damn hero. I'm also a people pleaser so can relate so much to your updates, especially in the first thread where you lost sleep.

I just wanted to reassure you that you are 100% totally and completely in the right and have been treated appallingly. Honestly. That CF woman is crazy.

Fuck that ExFriend. I would honestly jump at the chance to be your friend in RL. You are a good egg. It comes across in every syllable you type.

Every single decision you've made has been a blinder. Every one. And I only wish I had your courage, grace and dignity.

I am going to have a late NE resolution to be more like you, OP, and stop trying to people please. I'm going to download that book that was recommended in the 1st thread too but tbh, reading this thread is very empowering as you are brilliant. So is your mature and wonderful DD. You must be so bloody proud of her. What a star.

Maybe DD could invite another friend to go to the club with her for a bit... Obvs not another friend who turns out to have a collosal cunt for a mum.

You are amazing.

If your daughter has Snapchat or Facebook it may show whether they actually walked or not kids broadcast everything these days. They sound like the type to do exactly this to beg sympathy.

I wouldn’t put it past cf to make her daughter walk just so she can say they did. Pretty certain it was the mother’s plan all along to make you look horrid.
Ignore them.

OP, I am shocked at the progression of the bullying. You clearly stated that you couldn't collect her dd but she kept bullying you into it. Your Oh is 100% right. I am glad to hear that you have their support.
Please dont let this take up too much head space. Do something you love to take your mind off this situation. I feel sad for you when I saw the late night updates. It's such a stress but you need to try switch off and be good to yourself.
You sound like a lovely caring mum for doing this for two years!