AIBU re: lift giving: will she turn up on Friday or not?

[Whiskeychaser]

Second thread.

Thanks for all the support.

Dreading them coming out od school because I can see my dd getting it in the ear from them, and I'm really feeling for her.

Link to first thread to follow in a minute (when I figure it out).

I realise that there are a lot of us waiting for updates and this is your life @Whisky and I'd like to say that you've held yourself and you DD up so well and you've never been anything but generous and nice and it can't be a nice feeling to have that thrown back at you.

Enjoy your drink and your weekend!

@Whiskeychaser well done. You have handled this with grace. I know it is upsetting but here's hoping that's the end of the drama and things will calm down now

you've been very kind op. I'm sorry you've been treated like this.

What a shame for her DD.

However, this is absolutely not on you or your DD. You have behaved exceptionally well and the CF mother is an absolute joke.

On another note, well done you for raising a level headed DD that recognises when some one is being walked all over. You should be very proud. X

Good for you, you've kept your dignity throughout, she's a stupid sully woman

Erm, @Whiskeychaser I’m sorry, but I’m afraid what her DD said was supposed to put the fear of God into you, probably.

I.E. that they are painting you as a black-hearted pirate wench that either suddenly stopped giving a promised ride so: DD must quit the club OR they are begging leader to find her another ride. Either way, I suspect CF’s trying to make it so your name is mud. I really do hope I’m wrong, but I’ve seen this kind of shite happen so damn often with rides and clubs and karate and scouts and who knows what else.... The minute someone decides to be an entitled CF, it’s a lost cause.

@Whiskeychaser sending a big hug, if you'd like one. What a horrible place to find yourself in. That hurts, when you think someone is a friend and then this kind of thing happens.

You are a good example to your DD. Just focus on that, and put this behind you. Best of luck, and hope the makes you feel a little better.

I bet @Whiskeychaser she was filling the instructor in on how they couldn't come any more, unless some other person could help out with a lift. Well done for staying strong.

Perhaps the club leader was going to give them a lift home

I know what it's like to constantly mull over it and wanting it to be ok, and trying to make the peace and be the bigger person so everyone's happy regardless of the rights and wrongs.

But you've done absolutely nothing wrong here. A simple 10 minute walk was all you asked for, and she had been unbelievably entitled, ungrateful and downright rude in all this.

You can't put it right. You can't argue with stupid.

Try to move on, enjoy your night and a stiff drink.

Please stop texting her. You really need to stop being the 'nice guy' and keep on explaining things to the CF over and over again.

Was there something about you looking after her dog in the near future (or have I mixed this thread up with another?)

Op, I really like the sound of you.

You are consistently trying to grow , go beyond your limits and do the right thing.

I like the sound of how you communicate with your dd.

You think with clarity and consistency.

You have consistently given your cf friend a chance to more lose face.

You sound like an good friend , and she is being a fool to lose you. Sag gees cutting off her nose to spite her face.

Enjoy your drink Whiskey, & blessed time at home at last with DP & DD.

I know this is not the closure you were hoping for, but at least it IS closure.

And please remember, no matter what spin CF puts on this sorry debacle, people in RL know her. They also know you.
Your individual characters will speak for themelves - RL people will already have detected The Whiff Of CF'ery, it's v hard to disguise. They will have picked up on her "me first" attitude, & depending on how well they know her, that she is perfectly prepared to put her own whims & comfort ahead of her daughter's wellbeing.
Whereas in RL, people will know that you are kind, keep your word, have dignity, go out of your way for your child & are generally worth knowing.

It's telling that CF has no other 'friends' to rally round & help out as much as you have for so many years, innit.

Congratulations on your assertiveness, & your brilliant parenting.
& go on you've earned it!

Brilliantly handled @Whiskeychaser.
You've set a great example for you daughter on how to deal with wankers.

OP’s exfriend cutting off her nose to spite her face.
Weird.

Well done op, enjoy your drink

They say no good deed goes unpunished. I'm so sorry, OP. You sound so lovely. I'm sorry for your hurt, and I hope you realise this is most definitely no loss to you, and a considerable one to her.

I think the mum has seen this thread, hence no more texts so that OP can post them here.

Well done

Enjoy your drink. You’ve done the right thing x

Well done OP
You have been very kind and generous and created healthy boundaries about what behaviour you expect and will accept. It's really great role modelling for your dd.

It's an important life skill to stand your ground and hold your boundaries and can be very difficult especially if your parents didn't role model it for you.

I'm cheering you on.

I reckon she’s asking the coach to pair her up with some other mug to drive her to and from club.

I wouldn’t give her another thought. Wander if she still expects you to dogsit?

Sorry that your ex friend is not who you thought she was. You have handled the situation well though. Try to forget this now and move on and encourage your DD to do the same. You can be polite and friendly still.

I totally understand why you sent that last text. It was closure.

It’s really annoying me that she wouldn’t just walk her DD over to yours? If she’s so busy with work and family life, she could have done the short walk with the dog, dropped DD off, walked back home. Hey presto! The dog is walked and then she’s free for 2.5 hrs at home to chill or get stuff done. I would jump at that opportunity once a week!!

Instead, she’s made her life much harder, she will have to go to the club every Friday thus taking up the whole evening either sitting in her car or in an awkward atmosphere, has lost a very good and helpful friend and embarrassed her daughter.

But this is a women who enjoys the drama and I expect she’s often falling out with people. If it wasn’t this, it would be something else that she’d take the puss with. So although you are sad now, I think you’re much better off without her in the long run. And you’ve taught your daughter how to handle a situation by being kind/generous while establishing boundaries and not being a doormat. This is SO important.

CF will have stayed behind at the end of the club to tell the coach/leader/teacher a sob story. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she finds someone else to do their lifts. Maybe I’m even the teacher herself will do it.

I would find a way of making sure the teacher knows exactly what happened. Not in a bitchy/gossipy way but just by casually slipping into the conversation at some point in the future.

You’ve been very brave in what’s been a thoroughly unpleasant episode.

CF will cry victim but you can just ignore her now. She’s a user.