AIBU re: lift giving: will she turn up on Friday or not?

[Whiskeychaser]

Second thread.

Thanks for all the support.

Dreading them coming out od school because I can see my dd getting it in the ear from them, and I'm really feeling for her.

Link to first thread to follow in a minute (when I figure it out).

@Whiskeychaser You’ve handled it so well, she was never your friend sadly but you’re clearly a lovely person. You deserve better than her

It is upsetting when something minor spins out like this. People are strange.

I think you ruined it a bit with that last text
Makes you seem petulant and dragging it out

Dignified silence ALWAYS puts them on the back foot

They were staying behind to talk to the club leader ... to bitch and moan about you obviously.

Well done for calling it a day and telling her you're done with the rides for the ungrateful cow. Amazed that people really act like this.

I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel like this. I’m like you, a people pleaser, I guess the consequences of standing up for ones self are that one has to deal with the conflicting emotions and confrontations, that come from it. Which is of course why we avoid those situations in general. You’ve done amazingly well, you made a small and reasonable request that’s all, and she chose to blow it up like this. You deserve that drink.

Sorry it has happened like this, OP. Remember that she didn't give you any choice. In a few months you will look back and be staggered by the behaviour of this total user.

Well done Whiskey, you've handled this situation with dignity.

Well done! Just block her. No more drama or aggro. She'll find someone else to use until they cotton on to what a bitch she is. People like favour the torched Earth method of getting through life.

I'm sorry you are sad OP. It is always difficult to lose someone you have considered a friend.
I hope you can now put this behind you and move on. 🍷💐

you’ve done nothing but bend over backwards and she’s thrown it right back at you.
Unfortunately she is one of those non car drivers who think cars run on magic and require no effort (I say this as someone who only recently got a car for the first time).

Well done. Don't forget to tell her about the dog too.

I know this must be upsetting but you've given her every chance and anyone would be lucky to be your friend.

Goodness, such drama. Refresh, refresh, refresh!
I think you were totally fine in your initial request, she was being a cf but the favour was so routine that she felt entitled. I think all the texting today was OTT and certainly the last one was unwarranted. She had backed herself into a corner, of her own making.
Get yourself a big old drink and try to calm down.

I hope you can put this behind you now. This sort of thing can easily distract you and affect your energy levels, sleep, everything.

You've been more than fair.

Do be prepared for you to question yourself, and perhaps in a few weeks or months for them to rewrite history and try to resume the favours again. Just remember (or keep) your polite, friendly messages and their rude responses and behaviour.

This really isn’t your fault so you have to be proud that you’ve dealt with what’s come along. Of course it’s upsetting but you’ll feel better soon.

She's probably stayed back to tell the club leader that her daughter can no longer go because you wont give her a lift anymore. Prepare yourself for that

There’s no way if she comes over to the car for a lift you won’t give her one, especially as you texted her this afternoon!

She's probably stayed back to tell the club leader that her daughter can no longer go because you wont give her a lift anymore. Prepare yourself for that

Course she is.. because her reactions.. have been disproportionate .. from beginning to end.. to OP's simple request...

I understand why you’re upset, but you’ve really done nothing wrong. She dug her heels in and it’s backfired.

well done OP, you really come accross as lovely. People take advantage of this as this CF did!

I would absolutely reiterate about the dog too, that you will not be looking after it

Well done OP....but please don't text her anymore.

CF has no shame so don't think it would bother her to walk pass your car... I'd bet my house she stayed behind to ask the leader if they knew of anyone else that could give them a lift from now on.

OP I think that you have done absolutely the right thing by sending a last text. It doesn’t matter what she (or any of us) thinks about it, you have given yourself closure and that’s what is important.
Some people are just shitty - and I suspect she backed herself in to a self righteous corner and couldn’t get back.
Enjoy the rest of your evening and try to forget about it

op
It's incredibly upsetting to realise you aren't valued by someone you though was a friend.
Well done to you and your dd

I reckon you ought to talk to OH, he's got her measure. And yours.

@Whiskeychaser I am in awe of how you have handled this. This is exactly the situation I can imagine myself ending up in and I only hope I can be as strong as you have been. As a people pleaser, it is a really hard thing to do. Your daughter will be proud.