AIBU re: lift giving: will she turn up on Friday or not?

[Whiskeychaser]

Second thread.

Thanks for all the support.

Dreading them coming out od school because I can see my dd getting it in the ear from them, and I'm really feeling for her.

Link to first thread to follow in a minute (when I figure it out).

wow this woman is CF of the highest order!!!

stand firm OP!!

Just get in the car with your DD and go home. No more lifts or texts needed. She has decided to not take u up on ur most generous offer. Her loss.
Put it down as a learning kerb. Life is full of users. X

I have a feeling she's not going to come looking for a lift home. She's after giving the sobstory to some other sucker and they've agreed to "help her out".

She'll come out and give you a "fuck you" look and strut off with her new friend!!

To those saying that whiskey owes them a lift home due to texting today - remember the text was sent in good faith before finding out that her daughter was at best ignored, at worst bullied by this other girl at school.

Another one who agrees with @LazyDaisey. The texts OP has sent imply same arrangements as last week, so keep to that then as others have said have a word when you have dropped off.

To be honest or sounds like the mum and daughter may both be the type who judge people by how useful they are to them I know so many people like this and it tends to run in families! Well said @OnTheEdgeOfTheNight!

If she speeds off now, tables turn and OP becomes the asshole.

Admittedly I'm only skimming, but what's your logic for this? Because the op didn't explicitly say that a lift home was conditional on providing the outgoing lift?

If I flat out ignored someone offering me a lift and made my own way there I'm not sure I'd expect that person to give me a lift home by default? Not without communicating to confirm anyway.

I agree with LazyDaisey, just take control of the situation. All this texting back and forth and "my DD said", and "her DD said" and now you're sat in your car stewing. If you already suggested you'd take them home, do that in stony silence but before you all get in the car, tell the woman to her face you're not at all happy with her attitude and this is the last lift as she's been stepping on your goodwill.

chances are, the mother has realised that she has more to lose than you, including the realisation of how much a replacement dog sitter will cost. She’ll act as if you’re the one over reacting, but revert to type after her holiday.

Lift or no lift tonight, in no universe is the OP an arsehole and to suggest this is ridiculous

If for whatever reason you do end up giving them a lift back please please please take the route that puts your home first so they have to walk back from yours

Petty? Yes
Satisfying? Definitely

Text and lift my eye.

Fuck her. She's a total arsehole.

I agree with LaiseyDaisy. I would wait outside in your car and see if she comes for a lift. Stick to what you said to her in your texts. The girls are friends at school and this is all cf's fault not her schoolgirl daughter. The texts started with the other mother as cf which she is...but her daughter didn't cause this...her mother did. I would be very cool if she comes to the car op and as someone upthread has said, talk to her privately out of earshot of the girls. If you don't want to give her a lift back after this week fair enough but I would stick to what you said if she comes out to you for this week. Hope it goes ok.

text her to come out and talk to each other properly now, before the girls come out.

I wouldn't do this, it's like the OP is always chasing her. Sod her.

Am I the only one still annoyed at the DD's reference to the OP being 'difficult'?

I've given her every chance to save face and walk to my house and get a lift there and back. She's chosen not to, so she's done this, not me.

She's also chosen to blank me all day, and not even had the courtesy to let me know not to wait for them as they're making their own way there.

If I now drive her home I'm basically saying it's ok to treat me like shit, whenever uppity wasn't because I'll still do you favours when you want me to.

I'm not prepared to do that. I'm afraid I've hit my tolerance level.
I did discuss this briefly with my dd during the drive, so she knows I'm not prepared to drive them home if they'd made there own way here again, and she actually agrees with my stance.

If they do speak to you tonight, you can refer back to the language they've used about you - for example the daughter today saying "if your mum continues to be difficult about this". Or just borrow the mum's original response : "that's not on".

@Flimflamfloogety 10000% do that although make them aware beforehand otherwise you could end up with them refusing to get out of the car once they realise

Oh my goodness! Stay strong, show your DD how it's done!

Actually on reflection Smellbow has it right. A dignified silent journey home, and then let her know that you will not tolerate such crap ever again and that all
Lifts are off

Ah I didn't know you'd clued your DD into your stance - I just didn't want her to be embarrassed, but all good - stand firm!

user3575796673 totally agree! A decent person acknowledges the offer of a lift home! If someone ignored me I would assume they would sort themselves out.

Grab the cheerleading pompoms, MN!

Cheering you on OP!

Good for you, OP! DON'T BE A MUG. She has no right to treat you like shit and expects you to say sorry.