AIBU re: lift giving: will she turn up on Friday or not?

[Whiskeychaser]

Second thread.

Thanks for all the support.

Dreading them coming out od school because I can see my dd getting it in the ear from them, and I'm really feeling for her.

Link to first thread to follow in a minute (when I figure it out).

Cross posted - your plan is perfect OP

Stay firm. Giving them a lift home now is basically rolling over, accepting the shit behaviour and admitting defeat. Stay mad.

I hope your daughter leaves before them to save the drama!

Well done op. Don’t let anyone treat you like this.

You’ve absolutely done nothing wrong. However, she sounds like a typical victim so be wary of that.

Whilst you’re angry you could throw in about not dog sitting - get it all over in one fell swoop....

The OP texted the other mother just hours ago reiterating she’s happy to take her if she’s there by 6 and implied same arrangements for going back.

Why are you all outshouting each other to try to ditch them now? The other mother has simply chosen to make her own way there. The OP has chosen not to go inside and is sitting in her car.

If she speeds off now, tables turn and OP becomes the asshole.

OP, give them a lift back, get out and ask to have a word with the mum without the girls overhearing. Speak to her like an adult.

Don’t get sucked into this drama llama shit on mumsnet

Good on You!

Go for it OP, sending you strength 💕💕💕💐💐💐

The trouble is, if your DD is getting on well with CFDD inside club and they all walk out together, it's going to leave your DD mortified if you turn round and tell them they're not having a lift. Can you go in at the end and make to have a chat with the coach/organiser and hang about a bit, or go in and use the loos or something? It will be mega awkward for CF to wait about for a lift if you're not in the car or ready to go.

And PS. if it wasn't already obvious, I won't be dog-sitting for you either.

Stay strong whiskey. You’ve come this far!

omg.. I'm literally GLUED to this page... OP good luck

Perfect reply to the CF OP. Hopefully she’s got the point and won’t expect a lift though, if she does she’s won biggest CF of 2020 by a long shot.

Don't text. Every time you do, you are making yourself look weak and undermining your own position. This is not what you want to model to your daughter.

Stick with your plan. You know how you can handle this best yourself. Good luck. Always a nightmare these situations. You've done nothing wrong.

“omg.. I'm literally GLUED to this page... OP good luck”

No kidding

Glad to hear you're not going to give them a lift back (which she's blatantly expecting). Make sure you don't cave or you're showing DD to be a doormat when people treat you badly. Stay strong!

@CakeandCustard28
It’s early days 🤣😉

Agree with you LazyDaisey. The texts today have repeatedly reiterated what the OP decided last week. To just leave them there with no lift (or prior warning) will just make the OP look like the bad guy. I would give one last lift back and at drop off explain that you have no intention of ever doing any favours again.

I would also, for the sake of the children, give them a lift home in awkward silence, then when you get back, send her DD indoors and tell her quietly that was the very last time, that she's brought this on herself with being so unwilling to recognise you have done her a favour for two years, for being so unco-operative and for failing to apologise for how she has spoken to you. You are not a doormat and will not be treated so appallingly. If her DD has to stop going to the club then it's on her, and her alone. And please, do not stoop so low as to involve the children in this. Then drive off and never speak to her again.

text her to come out and talk to each other properly now, before the girls come out. you really dont want a showdown in front of the girls and other children. you have done really well up to now, but dont refuse to run them home and look the baddie. speak to her before the girls come out.

If you let her into your car for a lift home this will never end, the drama and piss taking will go on forever and the same issues will keep on coming up and keep on pissing you off.

Don’t give them a lift back based on the text you sent earlier! It only implied her dd and given the non reply from the mother she can’t now say she was reliant on you. There’s no way she went there and didn’t have provisions to get back without you. Don’t fall for the sob stories her and her child have systematically upset you and your dd for too long now

Do you think the other girl ignored your daughter in school today because she has other options there, but said hello at the club tonight because she has fewer friends here, only to drop her again on Monday at school? Either way, hopefully your daughter knows it's not the other girl's decision to pick up and drop her a suits. Your daughter can choose for herself.

To be honest or sounds like the mum and daughter may both be the type who judge people by how useful they are to them.