AIBU re: lift giving: will she turn up on Friday or not?

[Whiskeychaser]

Second thread.

Thanks for all the support.

Dreading them coming out od school because I can see my dd getting it in the ear from them, and I'm really feeling for her.

Link to first thread to follow in a minute (when I figure it out).

Perfect.

Your daughter has her head screwed on!

Gosh OP, don't message her again.

Sit on yer hands OP..

Your daughter is a little gem and sounds like she has her head screwed on unlike some others you know, both mother and daughter. Good luck tomorrow and keep those hands glued to your arse

Three cheers for OPs DD!

Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

The girls got her head screwed on alright, and she learned not to accept people shit just to all “get along”. Brilliant!

Time to draw a line under this. Don’t engage with her further in her manipulative behaviour. You dd going to this club alone will probably do her the world of good and she will make lots of new friends (given half a chance).

I’d suggest just one final communication for you to her saying...

“I’ve given this a lot of thought, and sadly the favour I’ve been doing for your, reliably over the past two years must now end. It is unfortunate that you are unable to see that my time is as important to me as your time is to you. Whilst you do not wish your dd to make the short walk to my home for a lift, facilitating her going to the club, I no longer want to collect your dd from your house. There clearly is no compromise here so the arrangement must end.

Given the content of your texts this week and lack of appreciation that it is me that facilitates your dd attending the club as a favour and not a given, I also think it best if we step back from taking care of your dog in March. This gives you sufficient time to make alternative arrangements.

I valued our friendship as equals, but it has been clear over the last week or so that this is not reciprocated.

I wish you well.
WhiskeyChaser

Applause 3luckystars. Brilliant.

@3luckystars
Oh that's my kind of jam and you, lady, are my kind of poster.

Your daughter is great and spot on, write this down and everytime you doubt yourself read it "they've got a cheek... this isn't how real friends behave."

Both of you need to walk away from the CFs.

@3luckystars wow! Brilliant. What a great post.

Oh phew. Glad there's a second thread.

This is so exciting perhaps this thread too will fill up before the deadline!

I think you’re being more decent than I would keeping the offer of a lift open.

I think it will be radio silence this week and then her dd will pop up no big deal in a few weeks. Unless you send a message about the dog cos then she'll nuke the friendship from spacr, you know, to be sure.

Whiskey don't message her. You give her an inch and she'll take a mile.

You really are a kind hearted soul but please don't let your nature turn you into a door mat.

Find some true friends

I couldn't post before because I was reading at work but the time it gets dark is really important to me as I have hens and ducks and they must be in before dark. So I literally am minute by minute tracking what time it gets dark every day until it gets to the point I can let them out while I'm at work.

Obviously it depends whereabouts in the country the OP lives but where I am there was still enough light to see at 5.25pm today. Sunset is getting later by 2 minutes every day at the moment. So it'll only be another 2 weeks before it'll be light at 5.55pm, at least where I live anyway. So we're not talking about walking at the dead of night here.

LOL @3luckystars !

Omg, watching from nz :)

@3luckystars you might be my favourite ever poster!
Good luck for tomorrow op stand strong

I'm hoping she comes to her senses and apologises. Unlikely.

and when she comes too, she doesn't feel she should have to walk after working all day

You are telling her that coming round to yours “makes it easier for you”.

Be very specific. “Leaving 15 minutes earlier to collect your Dd makes it difficult and stressful for me to get us all there on time after getting home from my volunteering”

She clearly feels hard done by because of her job. Let her know clearly that she is not the only one under pressure.

She doesn’t need to get a taxi all the way to the club, she could just get a cab to yours.

She should be bringing you some apologies and flowers for all you have done for them the cf..her child will grow up to be one also but well done on your dd for not being bothered if they dont wns up as friends.

Hi OP,

I just wanted to say I've read almost all of your first and second threads. I admire you and your daughter so much, you sound like such lovely people.
I wish I had a friend like you OP.

Your so called "friend" should hang her head in shame. She is such a user.

Best of luck tomorrow, I hope everything works out fine in the end. 🤞

Just go all passive aggressive with her "just because you dont love your daughter enough to want to spend time with her doesn't mean you can judge everyone by your own standards".

Hi OP, before your DD tells her friend that the issue is between the mums can she maybe just check that the girl knows that she can still have her lift if she walks to yours?

If she got so upset it seems entirely possible that her mum has told her you won't give her a lift at all, not just that you can't pick her up from home any longer.

These girls are 14, they're not babies. At 14 I would have happily walked 10 mins to get a lift (and been suitably grateful for it when I got there!) even if it meant my mum would have a face on when I got home.