Or is he spying on me?

[Cluedos]

And how can I find out if so?!

Extremely concerned re: my boyfriends behaviour. Things just don't add up. Here are some examples...

• a few weeks ago I was on my way home from work and went somewhere on my estate on the way home to pick something up. I found him there parked up in his car trying to call me. This was in the middle of the day when he was meant to be at work 30 miles away.

• a day after we had a night apart, he asked me if I wrote down my dreams? That very morning I had started to write down on notes on my phone what I was dreaming about as they've been quite odd. There's no way he could have known this.

• yesterday he questioned me on where I'd been for work. Then asked me if I'd been to town? No I hadn't as I rarely go into town but thought it was weird he would ask as he said...so you didn't go into town then?

• yesterday he says he leaving for work at 8 as he's off to London for a job. Later when he finds out I'm not leaving til 9 he decides he won't either. He comes into every room that I do. Then I say I don't need to leave til about 10 past and he wants to wait for me. I go by the shop at the top of the toad and he's just sat in his car looking out the window at me. Completely unnerved me!

I don't know whether to be concerned or humoured. I've been thinking about calling it a day which he knows but he's recently been diagnosed with depression and tends to play on that to buy some time.

Am I completely mental?

Actually, the more I think about this, the more I think talking to the police is a good idea, along with a request under Clare's Law.

This will not have been the first time he's behaved like this with a girlfriend, I bet his exs will have some stories to tell.

he has been challenged on this.
Most of the time is because he wants to spend time with me or he just wanted to know.

Cludos, are you aware how very inadequate that reasoning is?
You challenged his behaviour, & he responds that he only did it because HE wanted to?
Where is his acknowledgement that YOU did not like it?

This sounds like YOU on Netflix.

Run as fast as you can OP!!!

Sorry your having to deal with this op,

Tell the closest people in your circle what's going on and that you will be breaking things off with him and can they keep a eye out on there phone if you ring or text in a emergency.

Log it with 101 and explain what you have on here, so they will have background info if anything kicks off.

Get a new phone and sim card and do not let him know about it.

Kick this man out of your life and dump his stalking ass and then block him off your old phone and change the locks incase he has secretly had a key of yours copied.

Very scary. Run.

Please be concerned, very concerned..
I’ve been there and it only gets worse.
Please, please get out

Just what everyone else said. If be phoning the police too

Oh OP this sounds so terrifying!
Change your iCloud password and try take your phone to a shop to see if theres 'hidden' apps on your phone. Double check the find my iPhone app to see if hes set this uo behind your back, and if you can get a new phone.
Definitely report to the police and also try and get Clairs Law assessment thing too. (not sure on the right terminology for that!)

I bet he's reading this thread now.
Be safe.

End this now.
Get a new cheap phone. Transfer contacts manually. Don’t wipe the old one till you’ve talked to the police though.
Tell everyone about him. Ask them to be on their guard for any calls or texts from you.

Depression doesnt make people do weird stalkery stuff. He is using it as an excuse to keep you in a relationship you dont want to be in. Get out as soon as you can, make sure people know, have a safety plan for yourself and dont give in to emotional blackmail - his depression is not your responsibility and you are entitled to live as you want to without wondering how he will manage it. Please be safe.

One way to go from ‘a bit concerned’ to ‘terrified’ - post on MN

But please take this seriously & go to the police tomorrow.

Where are you Cluedos? Is everything okay?

I would be off like the clappers and getting a new phone. I'd turn my old phone off and drop it in the nearest river.
His behaviour is far from normal and will become much worse over time.
It's clingy at best, creepy at worse.

Op hasn't posted since around 4pm yesterday. I hate these threads that raise my concern and then go quiet. I hope she's okay.

Hope you're okay op!

Hope you’re ok!

Speak to the police. When you make a request under clairs law I am under the impression you have to be quite specific about it and specify clairs law. Not just say a background check on xx

There is no way you should be humoured about this, perfectly normal seeming people have the capability to do quite horrendous crimes - it’s why Ted Bundy got away with it for so long

Also make sure he hasn't put a tracker on your car.

And check with the police that he hasn't done this to a previous gf as it could indicate your level of risk. This is just not normal

He must be tracking you some how or how would he know where you have been ?
I would definitely get a new phone and sim and then call 101 .
His depression is not a reason you should stick with this deranged human being at all.
Just want to point out that if he is somehow logged into your phone to read this then he already knows which name you’re posting under so can find it regardless now .
Really hope you get away from this dangerous individual

I've never read that depression turns you into a controlling stalker, so he can fuck right off with that one can't he.

^This. My DM always put my F's paranoid and controlling behaviour down to his Parkinson's Disease medication, but in reality he was just a nasty piece of work and sexually abusive creep who happened to be ill as well. He was equally controlling of us, suffocating and I actually longed for him to die so I could be free of him. I felt like a horrible person for that after his actual death and it screwed me up completely. Until my DSis and I started to remember what had actually happened, once we had our DC.

Living with someone like screws your mind up, because of the gaslighting. It makes you hate yourself because this person apparently loves you so much and how could you possibly hurt him by going away or not doing what he wants?

In my case I couldn't get away because I was a child. But you can. What he's doing is stalking you and you need to make a note of everything and take it to the police, and then run for your life. He will only get worse; even if he does nothing to you physically, he will screw your mind.

Even though you are on your work computer you are still using your own account which it sounds like he can access. Create a new account, on a new phone, using a new email address.

Make some irrelevant, random notes on your phone. Leave your phone at home, or at work, Or turn off occasionally and see if there is a reaction.