Or is he spying on me?

[Cluedos]

And how can I find out if so?!

Extremely concerned re: my boyfriends behaviour. Things just don't add up. Here are some examples...

• a few weeks ago I was on my way home from work and went somewhere on my estate on the way home to pick something up. I found him there parked up in his car trying to call me. This was in the middle of the day when he was meant to be at work 30 miles away.

• a day after we had a night apart, he asked me if I wrote down my dreams? That very morning I had started to write down on notes on my phone what I was dreaming about as they've been quite odd. There's no way he could have known this.

• yesterday he questioned me on where I'd been for work. Then asked me if I'd been to town? No I hadn't as I rarely go into town but thought it was weird he would ask as he said...so you didn't go into town then?

• yesterday he says he leaving for work at 8 as he's off to London for a job. Later when he finds out I'm not leaving til 9 he decides he won't either. He comes into every room that I do. Then I say I don't need to leave til about 10 past and he wants to wait for me. I go by the shop at the top of the toad and he's just sat in his car looking out the window at me. Completely unnerved me!

I don't know whether to be concerned or humoured. I've been thinking about calling it a day which he knows but he's recently been diagnosed with depression and tends to play on that to buy some time.

Am I completely mental?

His behaviour is creepy and close to dangerous. Protect yourself, please.

OP have you posted this from work computer? I know it's an obvious point but if you've checked your post or responses on your phone this may alert him to your concerns.
I'm not sure how you'd get rid of the tracking app if there is one but a factory reset might be a start unless you can get a new phone.
And please do run the fuck away from him.

Not OK. Would you treat another human being like this? No. Get rid ASAP. This is not good. Be careful and alert friends and family to your worries.

Eish, that's really quite worrying. Make sure you tell people in RL what you suspect.

If you are doing this thread from your phone then I'd beware, because he's probably monitoring everything you're writing OP. Take care, end it asap and get a new handset.

Red flags everywhere. Dump him AND your phone.

wtf i would be dumping him and getting a restraining order out on him.

Please tell family and friends.

Get a new phone.

Run far and fast!

He is quite clearly not sane and his obsession will only get worse as time goes on, you don’t want to be a statistic!

I would go to the police, tell friends and family what’s going on and speak to women’s aid. You need advice how to safely leave this relationship without putting yourself in danger and FGS don’t post on MN or anywhere else from your phone or shared devices.

I've been thinking about calling it a day which he knows but he's recently been diagnosed with depression and tends to play on that to buy some time.

I've never read that depression turns you into a controlling stalker, so he can fuck right off with that one can't he.

Time to stop being manipulated & possessed OP.
And to make absolutely sure that you are talking to somebody in RL about your concerns.
Abuse thrives in secrecy - don't allow HIS behaviour to be YOUR nasty little secret.

Run!!!

Yeah , just get rid. At best he's crazy and at worst he's dangerous.
Do you live together?

Try these links:

pixelprivacy.com/resources/spying-on-your-cell-phone/

www.zeebiz.com/technology/news-how-to-find-who-is-tracking-your-phone-with-ussd-codes-who-has-hacked-tapped-your-mobile-90270

Personally I would be tempted to set a "trap" - store some juicy info on the phone that he just wouldn't be able to resist commenting on somehow, like the dreams thing. However, this could be risky as his behaviour is quite worrying. Only you know how much of a risk he might pose - trust your instincts.

Might also be worth checking out "why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft and/or The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker.

This sounds a lot like a thread posted and deleted yesterday

Tracker
Keylogger

And probably reading this post.

I don't understand how a grown woman could possibly have to ask if this behaviour is ok?

Hoping this isn't real but if it is then you need to break up with him, reassess what you consider to be healthy in relationships and not get into another one until your boundaries and expectations are healthy.

However you decide to approach this, it may not be safe for you to see him on you own again. He may be checking everything you write and for some reason he's fantasising that you are having an affair. Do you have any work colleagues you can confide in and go to the police station with you? The police will take this seriously, he is escalating with some very worrying behaviour. Have you ever done a Clare's Law request?
www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/alpha/request-information-under-clares-law/

Run OP, this is not normal behaviour and screams coersion

He also works in IT and more specifically for communication systems so I'm concerned this is a highly complicated matter if he's doing that.

OMG. Yes he is probably reading this.

If you call your phone manufacturer they will be able to detect spyware on your phone. They are the only ones really that can do this. When, what and how. So you need to grab the contact number for Apple, Samsung, make of phone..
It may be that he has your house/car tracked or on camera too. Not sure how you would check this though!
But as all the pp please get out of this

This just screams serial killer to me!

I would be ending it and putting as much distance between you as physically possible. Block him on everything and change numbers.

I don't think you should engage any further with him. This sounds wrong and dangerous. End it fully (in a public place).

Call 101 OP and ask them for advice.

OP, ditch your phone. Get a new one. Also new email IDs etc and change passwords and security questions to ones that he can't guess. This is more serious than you think. Also, pull this thread once you have received all the help. Fresh start.

I don't think you should engage any further with him. This sounds wrong and dangerous. End it fully (in a public place)

Agree. This is beyond, OP. Take it seriously and good luck.

The nutter will be reading this then

This is very scary op.