To buy hideous shoes that DD loves

[mamamilkmachine]

?My DD is three and loves purple and sparkles. While looking for new shoes together she spotted these and she really wants them. The last ones she had were pink sparkle converse and I was fine with them but her Dad hates them and complains and makes comments any time she has them on 😡 it really annoys me. I think she should allowed to have an input and wear things she likes but he thinks she's too young and she should wear what she's told. So do you buy your kids clothes that you like or clothes that they like?

I don't understand how they are hidoeus? they are cute purple and sparkly what's not to like

It’s a waste of money to buy shoes DD doesn’t want to wear. Get them! She’ll be happy to put them on!

I always allowed mine to have a say in their own shoes little children don't have much control over their lives so picking a sparkly trainer is giving them a little bit of autonomy imo.

They have unicorns 🦄 on them! They are all the rage with kids 10 and under! She will love them! I also think they’re fab and I’m 35! I would however struggle to find an occasion to wear them! 🤣

Do they do them in adult size 6? Buy the shoes!

If you can't wear purple sparkly shoes when you're 3, when can you? Tell DH to put a sock in it.

This is where it’s all going wrong. Parents letting a child have input. What will she want input in by the time she’s six?

What’s wrong with them? I work with shoes and these are gorgeous compared to some types I see.

As long as the shoes are practical (comfortable, affordable, well made, etc.) and are suitable for the purpose she will use them for (walking and playing outside) which these obviously are, I think the child's wishes should be respected. They are her shoes, going on her feet, and kids enjoy their shoes and love to show off an exciting new pair. Your DH should stop raining on her parade and let her have shoes that delight her. Those shoes are totally adorable and perfect for a three year old girl.

I would think about whether your DHs discomfort stems from some kind of sexism and ask him to consider if his denigration of "girly" shoes is part of a general sense that "girly" taste signals unseriousness, or doziness or weakness, and what that means about his attitudes towards women and girls. Will his daughter need to act more like "a boy" in order to earn his approval as she grows up? Or will he come to understand that girls in pink sparkly shoes and fairy wings are just as worthy of respect as boys? This is a good chance, before your daughter goes to school, for your husband to think about the messages he is sending to her by being intolerant of her feminine taste. It's also a chance for you to model to a girl has a right to like and be whatever she wants.

If you want to keep it light you could just say "A Sister's shoe choice is a sacred right. Even a very tiny Sister. Stay out of it, male person."

This is where it’s all going wrong. Parents letting a child have input

Sounds to me like this is where it's all going right

Very cute. My DD, also 3, would love these. I buy some things and others I give her the choice.

If she wants purple sparkly shoes let her have them! There’s plenty of time for boring black shoes when she’s at school.

I think if she likes them and they’re a good fit, she should have them. You might want to have a conversation with your husband about him making negative comments about her clothes. Nip it now.

Just seen the ones with dogs - if only they made those in adult sizes.

They may not be the most practical option and canvas shouldn't be worn all the time as it doesn't support the feet and knees properly so the feet start turning inwards. As occasional shoes they look great but invest in a decent pair of shoes or boots too...ideally leather or vegan leather and properly fitted by someone trained. I like these purple sparkly boots... www.clarks.co.uk/c/City-Oasis-H-Toddler/p/26146255 personally!

I have a 3 year old daughter and I think (and she would too) those are super cute! My MIL bought her Frozen shoes and I think they're awful but she said my DD wanted them. They were very fitted so she outgrew them pretty quickly (thankfully!).

I am 67 and still wear purple sparkly shoes.

They are shoes. She's a little girl who loves them. Buy them for her. You could have SO much worse things to worry about!

I have always let DD choose her clothes on the proviso that they are comfortable and appropriate for the circumstances e.g. no shorts in winter etc. At age 3 she should be allowed to wear what she likes.

Do they come in a size 6 adult?!

They’re lovely age appropriate comfy looking shoes, can’t see the problem ?

@pollymere I’d hardly call Clarks the height of professional fitting, quality kids shoes. They fall apart after five mins!!

her Dad hates them and complains and makes comments any time she has them on

He needs to quit that sharpish, she will pick up on that criticism, even if it’s aimed at you.

It's only a phase she is going through.lm sure she won't like those kind of shoes when she's is older.
And she's 3 let her be a free spirit!
Dads always moan!
And there LOVELY shoes!
She will remember when she is older that mum let her have the wonderful shoes!
My daughter is 38 and still remembers that I let her go to bed in the red wellington boots that she wanted and couldn't bear to take off!
Don't worry your not alone we've all been there !
Jacquix

@threatmatrix
What a ridiculous thing to say! Maybe she'll want to choose a t shirt by 6, ye gods, the horror!